boneappleteeth
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Hi can anyone help me improve this. I think i should get rid of the rebuttal structure in one or two paragraphs and I should add more emotive language. Please help

'People have become obsessed with travelling ever further and faster. However, travel is expensive, dangerous, damaging and a foolish waste of time!'

Write an article for a news website to argue your point of view

The truth about travelling

To many people, the idea of travelling seems fascinating and enchanting. Many people would like to travel to places all over the world. However, it is not that simple: travelling impacts many people and the environment. It requires a lot of effort and in my opinion, it is a waste of money and time.

Firstly, travelling is extremely expensive. Nowadays, people have the opportunity to pay as much money as they would like to go as far as they desire. You could fly by plane to the Bahamas from Australia or you could just take the bus to your local supermarket. However, everything does come with a price. As more and more people have the impulse to travel, prices of transportation have increased. With transportation prices increasing, this means that the less fortunate, and people who do not earn as much, waste more money on travelling rather than essential things for living such as food and housing. These large and selfish corporations are focused on capitalising off normal citizens who have to work nine hours a day. The transportation is also quite dirty and unpleasant, so the fact that they are increasing prices for hard working citizens shows us that travelling is a waste of money. However, some others may disagree and say that the train companies need to charge high ticket prices in order to use the income to improve their services.I disagree with that statement because these corporations are not improving the quality of transport at a rate which justifies the exorbitant costs of travel, but are still taking so much money from the citizens. Which is why travelling is so expensive and people should stop travelling.

Not only is travelling expensive, but travelling is also extremely time-consuming. Instead of doing productive and useful things at home, people often spend hours upon hours in the car, on the bus or even on the plane. People also waste a lot of time waiting at airports, train and bus stations. One in three people say that they spend over two hours a day just waiting for transportation and taking transportation. Instead of wasting so much time travelling you could be doing so much more. People would be able to do more work and do things they actually enjoy. Indeed, lots of excursions can now be made virtually, which saves so much time. You can go look at your favourite monuments and museums online right at home! By doing this you are avoiding the crowded long journeys just to get there. Do you really think it is worth the time just to go see something where you could see it online? Time is extremely precious and we should not waste any of it by doing something that consumes so much time. However, some people may disagree with this and say that travel has been the fastest it's ever been. If travel has been the fastest it's ever been why are so many people wasting so much time trying to get somewhere? This is why travel is very time consuming and a waste of time.

Lastly, travelling hurts the environment a lot. Travelling is not an eco-friendly activity. As networks of transportations get bigger and bigger, so does the amount of harm it does to our environment. Vehicles are one of the major causes of global warming: cars and buses emit carbon dioxide which is a greenhouse gas, which contributes to one-fifth of global warming. Recently the carbon dioxide emissions have increased by 30% just because of people travelling to unnecessary places. Studies have said that by 2050 if we do not stop the carbon dioxide emissions, the Arctic will no longer exist and be extinct. The more and more we travel, the more and more polar bears go extinct everyday. You wouldn't want polar bears, creatures that are so majestic, to not exist anymore, would you? This unnecessary expansion of transportation is not only a waste of money but it impacts the environment and the world we live in. However, some may say that there are ways of travelling whilst being eco friendly. Such as planting more trees to fund climate change. I think that planting trees will definitely help reduce the carbon footprint, but the climate change could be stopped much quicker if we stopped travelling. Which is why travelling is a waste of time and not environmentally friendly.

In conclusion, I hope that you have taken on board everything I have said today. Travelling is extremely expensive, time consuming and it harms the environment. It is a total waste of time.
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avsbq
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Your response is really good!
Idk if this is useful but maybe this can make it a little bit better
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mayyee21
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(Original post by boneappleteeth)
Hi can anyone help me improve this. I think i should get rid of the rebuttal structure in one or two paragraphs and I should add more emotive language. Please help

'People have become obsessed with travelling ever further and faster. However, travel is expensive, dangerous, damaging and a foolish waste of time!'

Write an article for a news website to argue your point of view

The truth about travelling

To many people, the idea of travelling seems fascinating and enchanting. Many people would like to travel to places all over the world. However, it is not that simple: travelling impacts many people and the environment. It requires a lot of effort and in my opinion, it is a waste of money and time.

Firstly, travelling is extremely expensive. Nowadays, people have the opportunity to pay as much money as they would like to go as far as they desire. You could fly by plane to the Bahamas from Australia or you could just take the bus to your local supermarket. However, everything does come with a price. As more and more people have the impulse to travel, prices of transportation have increased. With transportation prices increasing, this means that the less fortunate, and people who do not earn as much, waste more money on travelling rather than essential things for living such as food and housing. These large and selfish corporations are focused on capitalising off normal citizens who have to work nine hours a day. The transportation is also quite dirty and unpleasant, so the fact that they are increasing prices for hard working citizens shows us that travelling is a waste of money. However, some others may disagree and say that the train companies need to charge high ticket prices in order to use the income to improve their services.I disagree with that statement because these corporations are not improving the quality of transport at a rate which justifies the exorbitant costs of travel, but are still taking so much money from the citizens. Which is why travelling is so expensive and people should stop travelling.

Not only is travelling expensive, but travelling is also extremely time-consuming. Instead of doing productive and useful things at home, people often spend hours upon hours in the car, on the bus or even on the plane. People also waste a lot of time waiting at airports, train and bus stations. One in three people say that they spend over two hours a day just waiting for transportation and taking transportation. Instead of wasting so much time travelling you could be doing so much more. People would be able to do more work and do things they actually enjoy. Indeed, lots of excursions can now be made virtually, which saves so much time. You can go look at your favourite monuments and museums online right at home! By doing this you are avoiding the crowded long journeys just to get there. Do you really think it is worth the time just to go see something where you could see it online? Time is extremely precious and we should not waste any of it by doing something that consumes so much time. However, some people may disagree with this and say that travel has been the fastest it's ever been. If travel has been the fastest it's ever been why are so many people wasting so much time trying to get somewhere? This is why travel is very time consuming and a waste of time.

Lastly, travelling hurts the environment a lot. Travelling is not an eco-friendly activity. As networks of transportations get bigger and bigger, so does the amount of harm it does to our environment. Vehicles are one of the major causes of global warming: cars and buses emit carbon dioxide which is a greenhouse gas, which contributes to one-fifth of global warming. Recently the carbon dioxide emissions have increased by 30% just because of people travelling to unnecessary places. Studies have said that by 2050 if we do not stop the carbon dioxide emissions, the Arctic will no longer exist and be extinct. The more and more we travel, the more and more polar bears go extinct everyday. You wouldn't want polar bears, creatures that are so majestic, to not exist anymore, would you? This unnecessary expansion of transportation is not only a waste of money but it impacts the environment and the world we live in. However, some may say that there are ways of travelling whilst being eco friendly. Such as planting more trees to fund climate change. I think that planting trees will definitely help reduce the carbon footprint, but the climate change could be stopped much quicker if we stopped travelling. Which is why travelling is a waste of time and not environmentally friendly.

In conclusion, I hope that you have taken on board everything I have said today. Travelling is extremely expensive, time consuming and it harms the environment. It is a total waste of time.
hii was just wondering which paper this questions from like is it an actual past aqa gcse question? x
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imamsargio
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(Original post by mayyee21)
hii was just wondering which paper this questions from like is it an actual past aqa gcse question? x
yes . it is.
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AbuYusuf
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(Original post by imamsargio)
yes . it is.
Can you remember the questions for paper 2 AQA 2020?
Last edited by AbuYusuf; 2 weeks ago
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imamsargio
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(Original post by AbuYusuf)
Can you remember the questions for paper 2 AQA 2020?
yes .
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AbuYusuf
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(Original post by imamsargio)
yes .
Can you let me know please.
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imamsargio
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if you give me some time . ill try to find the question paper for you .
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AbuYusuf
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(Original post by imamsargio)
if you give me some time . ill try to find the question paper for you .
Okay cool.
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imamsargio
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(Original post by AbuYusuf)
Okay cool.
Q4: For this question, you need to refer to the whole of Source A, together with the whole of Source B.

Compare how the writers convey their different feelings and perspectives on their adventures in the mountains.
Q2: You need to refer to Source A and Source B for this question.
Both writers are accompanied by another person on their adventure: Simon in
Source A, and Marius in Source B.

Q3: You now need to refer only to Source A from lines 23 to 31.

How does the writer use language to describe how he feels
Q5: ‘People have become obsessed with travelling ever further and faster. However,
travel is expensive, dangerous, damaging and a foolish waste of time!’
Write an article for a news website in which you argue your point of view on this
statement.


GOODLUCK
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AbuYusuf
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(Original post by imamsargio)
Q4: For this question, you need to refer to the whole of Source A, together with the whole of Source B.

Compare how the writers convey their different feelings and perspectives on their adventures in the mountains.
Q2: You need to refer to Source A and Source B for this question.
Both writers are accompanied by another person on their adventure: Simon in
Source A, and Marius in Source B.

Q3: You now need to refer only to Source A from lines 23 to 31.

How does the writer use language to describe how he feels
Q5: ‘People have become obsessed with travelling ever further and faster. However,
travel is expensive, dangerous, damaging and a foolish waste of time!’
Write an article for a news website in which you argue your point of view on this
statement.


GOODLUCK
Thanks appreciate it. What is question 2 asking you to comment on regarding those characters?
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imamsargio
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(Original post by AbuYusuf)
Thanks appreciate it. What is question 2 asking you to comment on regarding those characters?
emm . in question 2 u need to tell the different feelings and perspectives of the writers companion . the sources are very easy so I'm sure that ur going to do well.
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JJ <3
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(Original post by imamsargio)
emm . in question 2 u need to tell the different feelings and perspectives of the writers companion . the sources are very easy so I'm sure that ur going to do well.
can u send the insert please?
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imamsargio
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(Original post by JJ <3)
can u send the insert please?
yes sure.
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JJ <3
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(Original post by imamsargio)
yes sure.
thank youu
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imamsargio
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(Original post by JJ <3)
thank youu
i don t know how to do it in here . can you give me your email or something ..
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Maira108
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(Original post by imamsargio)
i don t know how to do it in here . can you give me your email or something ..
hi i was wondering if u have the science edexcel 2020 papers mark schemes i can trade for anything else
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kevvv
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(Original post by boneappleteeth)
Hi can anyone help me improve this. I think i should get rid of the rebuttal structure in one or two paragraphs and I should add more emotive language. Please help

'People have become obsessed with travelling ever further and faster. However, travel is expensive, dangerous, damaging and a foolish waste of time!'

Write an article for a news website to argue your point of view

The truth about travelling

To many people, the idea of travelling seems fascinating and enchanting. Many people would like to travel to places all over the world. However, it is not that simple: travelling impacts many people and the environment. It requires a lot of effort and in my opinion, it is a waste of money and time.

Firstly, travelling is extremely expensive. Nowadays, people have the opportunity to pay as much money as they would like to go as far as they desire. You could fly by plane to the Bahamas from Australia or you could just take the bus to your local supermarket. However, everything does come with a price. As more and more people have the impulse to travel, prices of transportation have increased. With transportation prices increasing, this means that the less fortunate, and people who do not earn as much, waste more money on travelling rather than essential things for living such as food and housing. These large and selfish corporations are focused on capitalising off normal citizens who have to work nine hours a day. The transportation is also quite dirty and unpleasant, so the fact that they are increasing prices for hard working citizens shows us that travelling is a waste of money. However, some others may disagree and say that the train companies need to charge high ticket prices in order to use the income to improve their services.I disagree with that statement because these corporations are not improving the quality of transport at a rate which justifies the exorbitant costs of travel, but are still taking so much money from the citizens. Which is why travelling is so expensive and people should stop travelling.

Not only is travelling expensive, but travelling is also extremely time-consuming. Instead of doing productive and useful things at home, people often spend hours upon hours in the car, on the bus or even on the plane. People also waste a lot of time waiting at airports, train and bus stations. One in three people say that they spend over two hours a day just waiting for transportation and taking transportation. Instead of wasting so much time travelling you could be doing so much more. People would be able to do more work and do things they actually enjoy. Indeed, lots of excursions can now be made virtually, which saves so much time. You can go look at your favourite monuments and museums online right at home! By doing this you are avoiding the crowded long journeys just to get there. Do you really think it is worth the time just to go see something where you could see it online? Time is extremely precious and we should not waste any of it by doing something that consumes so much time. However, some people may disagree with this and say that travel has been the fastest it's ever been. If travel has been the fastest it's ever been why are so many people wasting so much time trying to get somewhere? This is why travel is very time consuming and a waste of time.

Lastly, travelling hurts the environment a lot. Travelling is not an eco-friendly activity. As networks of transportations get bigger and bigger, so does the amount of harm it does to our environment. Vehicles are one of the major causes of global warming: cars and buses emit carbon dioxide which is a greenhouse gas, which contributes to one-fifth of global warming. Recently the carbon dioxide emissions have increased by 30% just because of people travelling to unnecessary places. Studies have said that by 2050 if we do not stop the carbon dioxide emissions, the Arctic will no longer exist and be extinct. The more and more we travel, the more and more polar bears go extinct everyday. You wouldn't want polar bears, creatures that are so majestic, to not exist anymore, would you? This unnecessary expansion of transportation is not only a waste of money but it impacts the environment and the world we live in. However, some may say that there are ways of travelling whilst being eco friendly. Such as planting more trees to fund climate change. I think that planting trees will definitely help reduce the carbon footprint, but the climate change could be stopped much quicker if we stopped travelling. Which is why travelling is a waste of time and not environmentally friendly.

In conclusion, I hope that you have taken on board everything I have said today. Travelling is extremely expensive, time consuming and it harms the environment. It is a total waste of time.
If i was to suggest one thing it would be; to try and avoid repeating "wastes so much time"
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imnotsus
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hi do u have the science 2020 past papers
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imamsargio
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(Original post by Maira108)
hi i was wondering if u have the science edexcel 2020 papers mark schemes i can trade for anything else
no . I'm not doing edexcel anyways . sorry.
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