Am I stuck up if I will only date someone if I'm physically attracted to them?

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Anonymous #5
#21
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#21
You don't owe any explanation if you do not want to be in a relationship with someone no matter what your personal reason for that may be, and you definitely don't owe your friend a relationship just because he wants one with you. As long as you aren't purposefully being hurtful in rejections (which it sounds like you aren't), there is nothing wrong with saying no.

You are the one who has to decide if a relationship is right for you, not anyone else, and if physical attraction is important to you, it's not up to anyone else to say that you should ignore that. If it hurts them that sucks, but rejection is part of life, and it's probably not the best idea to get into a relationship out of pity or because you don't want to hurt the other person.
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Final Fantasy
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#22
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#22
(Original post by Anonymous)
Like I've said in the other comments, I've been rejected by many guys and I've never held it against them or anything, this is not a gender thing, this is just a guilt thing, like is it a bad thing to consider, I was trying to get across my experience in the first post.
It's not a bad thing to consider. Attraction is very important. Unfortunately, men are told it's wrong. Double standards I guess.
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Anonymous #4
#23
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#23
(Original post by Final Fantasy)
It's not a bad thing to consider. Attraction is very important. Unfortunately, men are told it's wrong. Double standards I guess.w
when are men told it's wrong to look for sexual attraction in relationships?
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Anonymous #1
#24
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#24
(Original post by Final Fantasy)
It's not a bad thing to consider. Attraction is very important. Unfortunately, men are told it's wrong. Double standards I guess.
I've been told it's wrong too, usually by those that I have rejected, which has been men. I don't consider that a gender wide thing though, probably just who I've become friends with, as it's usually friends that ask me out.
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Final Fantasy
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#25
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#25
(Original post by Anonymous)
when are men told it's wrong to look for sexual attraction in relationships?
Not sexual attraction, but things like obesity, overweight etc. "but if he loves you he should love your obesity!" yeah no thanks.
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Anonymous #3
#26
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#26
(Original post by Final Fantasy)
Not sexual attraction, but things like obesity, overweight etc. "but if he loves you he should love your obesity!" yeah no thanks.
I agree, why’s it wrong to dislike someone due to their weight? it’s just another physical characteristic such as the shape of their nose smh
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username1234444
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#27
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#27
not shallow but it's not a reliable foundation for a relationship. sure looks may be "exciting" for a while but looks fade and when you marry someone, all you will have are the memories you've made and each other. looks should be a fraction of what you're looking for in a person but you still need to be sexually attracted to them so yeah, it is quite important but definitely shouldn't override any other reasons such as their personality + their character.

idk personally when i like someone's personality, they instantly become attractive in my eyes
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Anonymous #4
#28
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#28
(Original post by Final Fantasy)
Not sexual attraction, but things like obesity, overweight etc. "but if he loves you he should love your obesity!" yeah no thanks.
i'm not sure there's a widespread gender-based double standard, women are also expected to overlook male "deficiencies" - 'boys will be boys', 'if he's mean to you sometimes it's just flirtation', and weight too (like you mentioned) etc. relationships are full of give and takes & nosy other people are always quick to tell couples to get over it and work for their relationship 🤷*♀️
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Final Fantasy
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#29
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#29
(Original post by Anonymous)
i'm not sure there's a widespread gender-based double standard, women are also expected to overlook male "deficiencies" - 'boys will be boys', 'if he's mean to you sometimes it's just flirtation', and weight too (like you mentioned) etc. relationships are full of give and takes & nosy other people are always quick to tell couples to get over it and work for their relationship 🤷*♀️
Yeah I agree.
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Anonymous #1
#30
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#30
(Original post by username1234444)
not shallow but it's not a reliable foundation for a relationship. sure looks may be "exciting" for a while but looks fade and when you marry someone, all you will have are the memories you've made and each other. looks should be a fraction of what you're looking for in a person but you still need to be sexually attracted to them so yeah, it is quite important but definitely shouldn't override any other reasons such as their personality + their character.

idk personally when i like someone's personality, they instantly become attractive in my eyes
I want to get across that I don't have unrealistic expectations for looks, there are just people I'm attracted to and people I'm not. I'm not looking for 'exciting' but just someone I would want to/can have physical/sexual chemistry with. I always consider personality/character, I've never dated anyone solely for looks or anything like that, I don't hold looks over personality but it is an important element I think?
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Final Fantasy
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#31
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#31
(Original post by Anonymous)
I want to get across that I don't have unrealistic expectations for looks, there are just people I'm attracted to and people I'm not. I'm not looking for 'exciting' but just someone I would want to/can have physical/sexual chemistry with. I always consider personality/character, I've never dated anyone solely for looks or anything like that, I don't hold looks over personality but it is an important element I think?
You can't help who you're attracted to. It's not your fault. No worries.
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Anonymous #3
#32
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#32
(Original post by Anonymous)
I want to get across that I don't have unrealistic expectations for looks, there are just people I'm attracted to and people I'm not. I'm not looking for 'exciting' but just someone I would want to/can have physical/sexual chemistry with. I always consider personality/character, I've never dated anyone solely for looks or anything like that, I don't hold looks over personality but it is an important element I think?
That’s totally fine dw
(j make sure ur nice when u reject people)
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ellie0497
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#33
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#33
certainly shallow but not a bad thing!
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username5600688
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#34
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#34
(Original post by Anonymous)
That’s totally fine dw
(j make sure ur nice when u reject people)
You don't have to be particularly nice, just a no not interested is enough. You don't owe anybody a relationship or even a single date, that's absurd...
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username1234444
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#35
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#35
(Original post by Anonymous)
I want to get across that I don't have unrealistic expectations for looks, there are just people I'm attracted to and people I'm not. I'm not looking for 'exciting' but just someone I would want to/can have physical/sexual chemistry with. I always consider personality/character, I've never dated anyone solely for looks or anything like that, I don't hold looks over personality but it is an important element I think?
well then what's the point of this post lol? surely everyone feels like that (personality>looks but still consider looks)
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Anonymous #3
#36
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#36
(Original post by CatGentleman)
You don't have to be particularly nice, just a no not interested is enough. You don't owe anybody a relationship or even a single date, that's absurd...
As in some people may be offended if u decide to tell them why (which u don’t have to!) so choose ur words carefully
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Anonymous #1
#37
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#37
(Original post by username1234444)
well then what's the point of this post lol? surely everyone feels like that (personality>looks but still consider looks)
Just wanted opinions honestly, I don't have many people to talk to about it, sorry I know it's very exasperating and I worry a lot.
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vibin 777 33
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#38
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#38
(Original post by Anonymous)
(22F) Relationships really aren't on my radar at the moment but I do have a few guy friends and each of them have asked me out when we first met but one in particular is very persistent. Not persistent in a bad way, he's very nice and we get along great but I am not physically attracted to him in the slightest. This isn't something I could just forget because we get on so well, it would cause problems. I always feel terrible when guys (who I PERSONALLY find unattractive) ask me out and I say no, it has happened several times throughout my life and when I was a teenager I was made to feel like a horrible person by all the guys in my year for rejecting one of their friends. Am I terrible/vain for considering looks important?
What about me? Am I stuck up for only dating and having sex with China/Korea/Japanese men?

Like even if he's ugly if he's asian Im ok with it. Though I'd prefer him to be handsome or average looking

Men from other races are not sexually attractive to me. I'd rather vomit than have sex with a non asian dude. I watch too many C dramas and K dramas and KPOP and Jpop and anime all did this to me
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username5600688
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#39
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#39
(Original post by Anonymous)
As in some people may be offended if u decide to tell them why (which u don’t have to!) so choose ur words carefully
So what if they are? I'd rather be told not interested than have someone pretend they care about my feelings or something.
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Anonymous #3
#40
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#40
(Original post by CatGentleman)
So what if they are? I'd rather be told not interested than have someone pretend they care about my feelings or something.
I’d rather be told a reason... I guess it’s just personal choice 🤷*♀️
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