I'm 18, I'm a guy and I'm gay

I struggle to accept myself and I am starting to hate myself because all my best mates are homophobic and some of my family, it's gotten to the point that I cry myself to sleep sometimes and it's all I think about!! I can't even focus on my exams that are literally in two weeks and as I am in my final year it's extremely important. Does anyone have any advice??? I would really appreciate it.

Reply 1

vapordave

Debate & Current Affairs Helper

20

Sorry to hear you're having a bad time. Making friends with supportive people helps a lot. Or even just connecting online.

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

Online friendships can really help! Please do not hate yourself. You are more than your friends or your family. There is nothing wrong with you. At all. It's their problem for not seeing that people are people. I detest homophobes, I really do. They are so ignorant and are no better than people who are LGBT. I can't imagine how mentally exhausting it must be for you to have to put up with it. I'm so sorry you're going through it, you don't deserve to be. You deserve everything you want out of life and you know what, **** anyone who doesn't love all of you. Because you will find people who will. What are your plans after final year?

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

Online friendships can really help! Please do not hate yourself. You are more than your friends or your family. There is nothing wrong with you. At all. It's their problem for not seeing that people are people. I detest homophobes, I really do. They are so ignorant and are no better than people who are LGBT. I can't imagine how mentally exhausting it must be for you to have to put up with it. I'm so sorry you're going through it, you don't deserve to be. You deserve everything you want out of life and you know what, **** anyone who doesn't love all of you. Because you will find people who will. What are your plans after final year?

Sorry- I meant to say that they are not better than people who are LGBT. Homophobic people like to think they are better but they are not. Not putting down LGBT! Everyone is equal!

Reply 4

Anonymous #3

I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. Do not for one minute hate yourself, okay. Because there is nothing to hate. Love is love and it's beautiful. If people cannot accept that, then they do not get to have you in their lives. Is there anywhere else you can go? Are they constantly saying homophobic things?

Reply 5

Anonymous #3

I just found this on a website:

My advice for all my LGBT fam who is dealing with this will be to find and have peace within and have self love, once you have that secure you will be able to deal with homophobic/transphobic members of your family.

Believe me it’s not easy however you need to remember this is your journey and not everyone will understand it.

Based on my personal experience, once I understood myself, love myself and came to term with myself I was able to not care about what other people thought of me..living in truth was my goal and finding true happiness. Coming from a family where my mother is a pastor well that didn’t sit too well with the idea of having a gay child.

However I have find friends that support my choice of living in truth, and family members that choose love over anything, as for my mother she still ain’t happy but over the years she kinda started to tolerate it!! What I’m trying to say is in life you not everybody will be supporting you, however focus on the positive side of things and the most important one LOVE and you will see that those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind!! You have an extended family everywhere in the world you are not alone!!

Reply 6

Submarine94

13

Original post by Anonymous

I struggle to accept myself and I am starting to hate myself because all my best mates are homophobic and some of my family, it's gotten to the point that I cry myself to sleep sometimes and it's all I think about!! I can't even focus on my exams that are literally in two weeks and as I am in my final year it's extremely important. Does anyone have any advice??? I would really appreciate it.

I'm very sorry to hear that, it's horrible. Please don't hate yourself, it's not your fault at all and don't blame yourself. Perhaps you should try getting better friends because if they were true and real friends, they wouldn't be homophobic towards you and would instead accept you and love you for who you are. You shouldn't be judged on your sexual preferences. Are you planning to go to university, as you've written that you're 18? If you are, try to focus on your exams and get good grades so that you can get into university, and that way you can try to distance yourself from your homophobic family members if you decide to stay in halls of residence. Then once you graduate, you can get a job and save up for your own place (or even start saving whilst still at university i.e. try to get a part time job). Please focus on your exams right now, they are so important right now and your future depends on them. Try to ignore the negativity and homophobia around you, remember - there is nothing wrong with you and you should NOT hate yourself or cry yourself to sleep. Get better friends, get those good grades, and focus on your future, which will be brighter and beautiful :smile:

Good luck!

I'm 18, I'm a guy and I'm gay

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