Moonlight rain
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When I say all my thoughts, people think I’m being rude. Then I start to feel really anxious because I didn’t mean to be rude. How do you respond to being called rude for saying your thoughts? And what to do if someone feels offended by your joke about them
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Final Fantasy
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I have the same problem with social justice warriors... but haters gonna hate. Can’t be thinking of offending some snowflake all the time - just be yourself and carry on.
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Foxehh
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"Im just saying what everyone else is thinking" is my personal favorite response.
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ROTL94
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I don't respond and just carry on as normal. Usually I am called rude when I don't kiss somebody's arse, well I'll never do that, so they can jog on.
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glassalice
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Generally sharing all of your thoughts is a bad idea.
You need to work out what thoughts necessary and relevant to the situation at hand and only share these. This won't eliminate ever causing offence to someone, however it will eliminate causing unnecessary offence.
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Moonlight rain
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(Original post by Final Fantasy)
I have the same problem with social justice warriors... but haters gonna hate. Can’t be thinking of offending some snowflake all the time - just be yourself and carry on.
but what if that person means a lot to you?

(Original post by LovelyMrFox)
"Im just saying what everyone else is thinking" is my personal favorite response.
Is it bad if my friend sends me a pic and I say to her she looks like a mess as a joke? I hate not being able to be myself

(Original post by ROTL94)
I don't respond and just carry on as normal. Usually I am called rude when I don't kiss somebody's arse, well I'll never do that, so they can jog on.
that’s a good mentality
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Moonlight rain
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(Original post by glassalice)
Generally sharing all of your thoughts is a bad idea.
You need to work out what thoughts necessary and relevant to the situation at hand and only share these. This won't eliminate ever causing offence to someone, however it will eliminate causing unnecessary offence.
Ofc not absolutely everything like when I insult someone in my head who just littered. The working out part is hard but I’ll guess I have to figure it out
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Moonlight rain)
When I say all my thoughts, people think I’m being rude. Then I start to feel really anxious because I didn’t mean to be rude. How do you respond to being called rude for saying your thoughts? And what to do if someone feels offended by your joke about them
I can totally relate. If they don't understand it was a joke, maybe you should tell them. It's either they don't understand it was a joke, or that they're attention seeked. Also, it depends on how well you know them. I feel fine making jokes about whatever with my friends and they know not to take what I say seriously or personally. If it's someone you don't know well, try not to make jokes that are too rude around them. Also, if it's someone close to you, you might want to be careful if you know they're the emotional type.
I don't know how much this helps - I have often been called rude, but try not to take it personally; I still have friends, who like me.
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Moonlight rain
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I can totally relate. If they don't understand it was a joke, maybe you should tell them. It's either they don't understand it was a joke, or that they're attention seeked. Also, it depends on how well you know them. I feel fine making jokes about whatever with my friends and they know not to take what I say seriously or personally. If it's someone you don't know well, try not to make jokes that are too rude around them. Also, if it's someone close to you, you might want to be careful if you know they're the emotional type.
I don't know how much this helps - I have often been called rude, but try not to take it personally; I still have friends, who like me.
Thanks. I hate how they try to convince me that I was being rude when I had good intentions.
I once had nowhere to stay so I slept with a friend and I said the house was really cold I was just being honest and she said I’m so ungrateful bla bla bla. And ugh it’s so tiring having to walk on eggshells
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Moonlight rain)
Thanks. I hate how they try to convince me that I was being rude when I had good intentions.
I once had nowhere to stay so I slept with a friend and I said the house was really cold I was just being honest and she said I’m so ungrateful bla bla bla. And ugh it’s so tiring having to walk on eggshells
Oh no. Well, personally, if it was cold, I don't see why your friend was being like that; I mean it's ok to be a bit annoyed, but no need to get angry.
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Final Fantasy
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(Original post by Moonlight rain)
but what if that person means a lot to you?


Is it bad if my friend sends me a pic and I say to her she looks like a mess as a joke? I hate not being able to be myself


that’s a good mentality
If they mean a lot to me then I’ll leave them to their opinions and carry on. But if they ever need honest feedback I’ll be there for them or just to listen and offer help. I don’t bother debating much or contradicting ppl I like.
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Moonlight rain
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Oh no. Well, personally, if it was cold, I don't see why your friend was being like that; I mean it's ok to be a bit annoyed, but no need to get angry.
Ikr. I apologised but it bothered me the rest of the day. I’m gonna try to speak my thoughts cause even when I hide most of it, I’m still being called rude
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Going Back
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Sometimes you just need a filter when you talk to people. "Just being honest" sometimes means "I didn't think about the other person's feelings before I spoke". Not meaning to be rude doesn't necessarily mean you haven't been rude unintentionally and hurt someone else's feelings for no good reason. Your friend with the cold house might have prefered to hear first "thanks so much for letting me stay" rather than what must have come across as a complaint about her house and pointing out its inadequacies. If you keep on being told that you're rude, it's at least worth thinking about what you might do differently. People aren't "snowflakes" because they have feeings. You have them too. This is why you asked here about being called rude. It bothers you. Are you a snowflake? No, you are a person with feelings.
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Foxehh
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(Original post by Moonlight rain)
Is it bad if my friend sends me a pic and I say to her she looks like a mess as a joke? I hate not being able to be myself
Depends on the context. If they thought they looked good, then yeah, a bit.
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Going Back
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(Original post by LovelyMrFox)
Depends on the context. If they thought they looked good, then yeah, a bit.
Exactly right.

Or if they did look a mess, but wanted reassurance to feel better about themselves.
Last edited by Going Back; 1 month ago
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Moonlight rain
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(Original post by Going Back)
Sometimes you just need a filter when you talk to people. "Just being honest" sometimes means "I didn't think about the other person's feelings before I spoke". Not meaning to be rude doesn't necessarily mean you haven't been rude unintentionally and hurt someone else's feelings for no good reason. Your friend with the cold house might have prefered to hear first "thanks so much for letting me stay" rather than what must have come across as a complaint about her house and pointing out its inadequacies. If you keep on being told that you're rude, it's at least worth thinking about what you might do differently. People aren't "snowflakes" because they have feeings. You have them too. This is why you asked here about being called rude. It bothers you. Are you a snowflake? No, you are a person with feelings.
No but I told her like 3 times how much I appreciate for her letting me stay with her. She told me the room I’d be sleeping in would be cold and I just commented on it. And her friend kept saying if she thinks this room is cold then what will she think about the room she’ll be staying in. And my friend said “I’m not going to waste money by putting on the heater at night” when I never even said she should. I told her as soon as I came in thank you and like 5 times after that even on the phone on my way there
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(Original post by Moonlight rain)
that’s a good mentality
Bro wth, if I look like a mess I would get mad if my friends did NOT tell me and vice versa. Does your friend want you to be fake??
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Going Back
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(Original post by Moonlight rain)
No but I told her like 3 times how much I appreciate for her letting me stay with her. She told me the room I’d be sleeping in would be cold and I just commented on it. And her friend kept saying if she thinks this room is cold then what will she think about the room she’ll be staying in. And my friend said “I’m not going to waste money by putting on the heater at night” when I never even said she should.
Nobody here can advise much on the specific situation because we weren't there and don't know the people involved.

If you keep on being told you are rude, it's reasonable to assume you have some role in this problem and it's not just that the rest of the world is wrong.

Is it your words? Your tone of voice? Your facial expression and body language? Not taking into account the kind of person you are talking to?

This isn't about not being yourself, it's about being more yourself, adding dimensions to your interactions with others.
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parmezanne
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I get called rude too. This is the price for sometimes being a little more blunt / less sensitive / calling people out.

Obviously, timing is everything and if people are getting seriously upset by it, you should apologise and consider other people's feelings.
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Going Back
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Bro wth, if I look like a mess I would get mad if my friends did NOT tell me and vice versa. Does your friend want you to be fake??
If that friend were feeling really down, they might well want cheering up. Context is everything.
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