what should i do?

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Anonymous #1
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i have a friend who does business and he is currently in the city. he asked me if i wanted to meet up with him as friends but i’ve avoided answering for a long time as i am in a LDR relationship with my boyfriend. i feel bad for blowing him off every single time because he doesn’t have much friends and he has helped me a lot financially (even bought me a macbook for my birthday) and he said he will try and help me become financially stable. i just feel bad because he’s doing all of this for me, and i cant even go see him as friends because i feel bad for my boyfriend. (for some reason my guy friend has helped and given me gifts and **** when my bf said he would even tho i’m not materialistic at all) am i wrong for feeling guilty even tho our friendship is strictly platonic?
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Surnia
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You should feel guilty. You've said he's a friend, but how much of a friend are you back to him if you don't catch up with him occasionally? Have you known him longer than your boyfriend? Do you think this guy doesn't understand boundaries or are their trust issues in the relationship?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Surnia)
You should feel guilty. You've said he's a friend, but how much of a friend are you back to him if you don't catch up with him occasionally? Have you known him longer than your boyfriend? Do you think this guy doesn't understand boundaries or are their trust issues in the relationship?
I’ve known the guy friend a bit longer but we didn’t talk back then if that makes sense. my boyfriend hasn’t straight up said ‘i have problems w you hanging out with guys’ but i can tell he will have a problem
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Final Fantasy
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Sounds like you're not serious about this so do him a favour and end the relationship. He deserves to be with someone more loyal, committed and caring.
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jas149
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Your boyfriend shouldn't have an issue with you hanging out with a male friend unless he has a reason to be worried. If you don't have any feelings for your friend then deciding whether to hang out with him shouldn't be that much of a difficult decision to make. I have a boyfriend but that has never stopped me from hanging out with my male friends. He saw how I am around them and he knows that they're like brothers to me
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by jas149)
Your boyfriend shouldn't have an issue with you hanging out with a male friend unless he has a reason to be worried. If you don't have any feelings for your friend then deciding whether to hang out with him shouldn't be that much of a difficult decision to make. I have a boyfriend but that has never stopped me from hanging out with my male friends. He saw how I am around them and he knows that they're like brothers to me
i do not have any feelings for him whatsoever, I only view him as a friend and only as a friend. i think he has a bit of trust issues because we are in a long distance relationship and he cannot physically see what I'm doing and that he should trust my word
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Surnia
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(Original post by Anonymous)
i do not have any feelings for him whatsoever, I only view him as a friend and only as a friend. i think he has a bit of trust issues because we are in a long distance relationship and he cannot physically see what I'm doing and that he should trust my word
So instead of trying to blow off your friend and asking "am i wrong for feeling guilty even tho our friendship is strictly platonic?" the question you should be asking is why your boyfriend would have a problem with you having a male friend. Trust issues, or controlling?
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mason.taylor.16
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He’s a simp. He thinks gifting you expensive things means you MUST give him the attention he thinks he deserves, don’t buy into it it’s a controlling manipulative tactic!
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Dunnig Kruger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
i have a friend who does business and he is currently in the city. he asked me if i wanted to meet up with him as friends but i’ve avoided answering for a long time as i am in a LDR relationship with my boyfriend. i feel bad for blowing him off every single time because he doesn’t have much friends and he has helped me a lot financially (even bought me a macbook for my birthday) and he said he will try and help me become financially stable. i just feel bad because he’s doing all of this for me, and i cant even go see him as friends because i feel bad for my boyfriend. (for some reason my guy friend has helped and given me gifts and **** when my bf said he would even tho i’m not materialistic at all) am i wrong for feeling guilty even tho our friendship is strictly platonic?
Pretend for a moment that you didn't have a boyfriend. Would you want to go and visit Mr Macbook in the City?

If the answer is yes, then you should go visit him.
It's probably better if you diplomatically tell your boyfriend - in a downstated, it's no big deal, oh I'm just visiting an old friend who could do with my support kind of way.
Although it would also be understandable if you didn't tell your LDR boyfriend, because you don't have to tell him every single little detail of your life.

(Original post by mason.taylor.16)
He’s a simp. He thinks gifting you expensive things means you MUST give him the attention he thinks he deserves, don’t buy into it it’s a controlling manipulative tactic!
That may be a very unfair statement about this man. If he's a whizz kid in the City of London, he may be earning a huge amount of money and a grand on an Apple laptop may be next to nothing for him.

All in all he sounds like he may be a great friend for the original poster to have. And that she would be a great friend for him.
From Mr Macbook's point of view, if she introduces him to one of her available, attractive and charming friends, then she will have repaid the gift of the laptop ten times over.
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