.emzneedsadvice_
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Myself and my boyfriend, have been together for, coming up 4 months. I really really love him very deeply. Recently tho, he has been commenting on another girl's social media, things like "You have the most amazing eyes" and "I really like your hair that length" with a few red heart emojis, this is very unusual for him too. He didn't used to comment another girl's post before. I don't know if I should be worried about this or not. I was best friends, for 2 years and a bit, before my boyfriend asked me out, and we have always been very close. He still acts as normal with me, but it's just that, I have been previously bullied frequently, resulting in me having anxiety. I wouldn't ever dream about complimenting another guy, whilst I was in a relationship. What should I do, should I bring it up with him. I am very nervous as I don't want him to get all defensive about it, or appear to be a controlling girlfriend, but it's bothering me more and more. I have been cheated one twice in the past.
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CaptainDuckie
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He’s commenting on other girls pictures while in relationship and it’s bugging you; this isn’t a matter of questioning whether you should bring it up to him or not, the automatic answer would be to ask him why he’s doing these things while he is in a relationship with you. If commenting on other girls picture is a deal breaker to you, I have no idea why you’re putting up with it.

Talk to him and tell him how it’s making you feel so that he cannot do it again. If he refuses the at least you know where you both stand in the relationship.
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.emzneedsadvice_
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(Original post by CaptainDuckie)
He’s commenting on other girls pictures while in relationship and it’s bugging you; this isn’t a matter of questioning whether you should bring it up to him or not, the automatic answer would be to ask him why he’s doing these things while he is in a relationship with you. If commenting on other girls picture is a deal breaker to you, I have no idea why you’re putting up with it.

Talk to him and tell him how it’s making you feel so that he cannot do it again. If he refuses the at least you know where you both stand in the relationship.
True, I guess it's not so much a deal breaker, it's just odd, because it's so suddenly random.
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CaptainDuckie
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(Original post by .emzneedsadvice_)
True, I guess it's not so much a deal breaker, it's just odd, because it's so suddenly random.

He’s complimenting girls and not you. This seems dodgy, no matter who the guy is, this should never happen unless it’s been initiated or accepted that there’s nothing internally going on that you don’t know about /or you both have agreed that you can comment on other people’s appearance.

He’s commenting on other girls pictures deliberately, complimenting them, adding heart eyes emojis, it just seems to me that he has absolutely no respect for you. It’s obviously getting to you, the best thing would be to talk to him even if it’s random. If he doesn’t understand then you both know where you stand. This isn’t normal for someone to go through considering you’ve also been cheated on twice in the past; at the end of the day, you should always put your mental health before others!!!
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.emzneedsadvice_
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(Original post by CaptainDuckie)
He’s complimenting girls and not you. This seems dodgy, no matter who the guy is, this should never happen unless it’s been initiated or accepted that there’s nothing internally going on that you don’t know about /or you both have agreed that you can comment on other people’s appearance.

He’s commenting on other girls pictures deliberately, complimenting them, adding heart eyes emojis, it just seems to me that he has absolutely no respect for you. It’s obviously getting to you, the best thing would be to talk to him even if it’s random. If he doesn’t understand then you both know where you stand. This isn’t normal for someone to go through considering you’ve also been cheated on twice in the past; at the end of the day, you should always put your mental health before others!!!
Thank you and true. It's also odd as he isn't the type to do it deliberately either, as least I don't think he would, but we dud agree that we shouldn't be commenting on other people's appearances. How would I start the text, asking him about it? For most of my life, I have really struggled with friendships too, often being bullied/excluded out. He knows all about that and people cheating on me in the past. I love him so deeply too, as despite him commenting on other girl's posts, girls of which I know, he has never even met, he often mentions how he wants a future family and marriage with me. Thank you for being so understanding of my situation too, it means a lot.
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sy!¡
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personally i wouldn’t have that and i would find it disrespectful of our relationship. speak to him
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CaptainDuckie
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(Original post by .emzneedsadvice_)
Thank you and true. It's also odd as he isn't the type to do it deliberately either, as least I don't think he would, but we dud agree that we shouldn't be commenting on other people's appearances. How would I start the text, asking him about it? For most of my life, I have really struggled with friendships too, often being bullied/excluded out. He knows all about that and people cheating on me in the past. I love him so deeply too, as despite him commenting on other girl's posts, girls of which I know, he has never even met, he often mentions how he wants a future family and marriage with me. Thank you for being so understanding of my situation too, it means a lot.

The messages seem a bit deliberate to me, if he’s complimenting girls in the presence of you, that’s even more disrespectful if he was to do it in the absence of you. He agreed on not complimenting on other girls pictures but he isn’t going with his own agreement, this is a deal breaker! He’s breaking the deal for the relationship, it’s definitely right to talk to him about it. You could go ahead and send him a text (preferably with screenshots) and ask him to explain what the comments mean. Whether or not it was deliberate, it doesn’t matter. He has realised that you’ve been cheated on, he should therefore be cautious for it not to happen again; it’s logical to think that.
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.emzneedsadvice_
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(Original post by sy!¡)
personally i wouldn’t have that and i would find it disrespectful of our relationship. speak to him
I am gonna trying talking to him about it, just not sure how to start the text tho. The first time he decided to comment on another girl's social media post was two days after Valentines Day this year saying 'You have the most amazing eyes' and then again yesterday saying 'I like your hair that length'. It's so odd and not usual for him, it was the same girl's social media account too, he's never even met her.
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.emzneedsadvice_
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(Original post by CaptainDuckie)
The messages seem a bit deliberate to me, if he’s complimenting girls in the presence of you, that’s even more disrespectful if he was to do it in the absence of you. He agreed on not complimenting on other girls pictures but he isn’t going with his own agreement, this is a deal breaker! He’s breaking the deal for the relationship, it’s definitely right to talk to him about it. You could go ahead and send him a text (preferably with screenshots) and ask him to explain what the comments mean. Whether or not it was deliberate, it doesn’t matter. He has realised that you’ve been cheated on, he should therefore be cautious for it not to happen again; it’s logical to think that.
Thank you so much for the helpful advice, your really nice. He did it just after I went to bed last night, saying 'I like your hair that length' (one of the two times he's commented on another girl's posts) and the other time, was two days after Valentines Day this year, with the same girl, saying 'You have the most amazing eyes'. This was on Instagram.
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SMEGGGY
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Comment on fit guys pictures, hell soon stop.
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.emzneedsadvice_
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(Original post by SMEGGGY)
Comment on fit guys pictures, hell soon stop.
I couldn't do that as it would be disrespectful to my boyfriend, I'm not like that, it would emotionally hurt me to do that. I'm a loyal person.
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CaptainDuckie
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(Original post by .emzneedsadvice_)
Thank you so much for the helpful advice, your really nice. He did it just after I went to bed last night, saying 'I like your hair that length' (one of the two times he's commented on another girl's posts) and the other time, was two days after Valentines Day this year, with the same girl, saying 'You have the most amazing eyes'. This was on Instagram.

If it was the same girl, you could ask him who she is. Then go ahead and say that you feel that he’s getting a bit too comfortable in commenting on her pictures, and it doesn’t make you feel appreciated enough. For the love of the relationship, you would want it to stop happening and that you feel that if these comments go unnoticed, it could potentially harm your relationship in the future as things will always go away unnoticed then which will eventually lead to the relationship ending.

He did it after you went to bed, so he must’ve thought you would not have seen it, question him on why he’s done so. If there’s no clear cut answer or if he beats around the bush, you can go ahead and decide on what you want to do with the relationship.
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Lwexi12
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Just talk to him. He might not understand that what he's doing bothers you. If you talk to him and it still continues then umm well you can make the decision on what comes next....
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.emzneedsadvice_
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(Original post by CaptainDuckie)
If it was the same girl, you could ask him who she is. Then go ahead and say that you feel that he’s getting a bit too comfortable in commenting on her pictures, and it doesn’t make you feel appreciated enough. For the love of the relationship, you would want it to stop happening and that you feel that if these comments go unnoticed, it could potentially harm your relationship in the future as things will always go away unnoticed then which will eventually lead to the relationship ending.

He did it after you went to bed, so he must’ve thought you would not have seen it, question him on why he’s done so. If there’s no clear cut answer or if he beats around the bush, you can go ahead and decide on what you want to do with the relationship.
Thanks for the help and good points actually.
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