Girlfriend behaving weirdly over sleep? Or is this normal behaviour?

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Anonymous #1
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I’ve gotten into a bad sleeping habit over lockdown and usually wake up between 1-3pm. She has taken to ringing me most days to try and wake me up to talk to me when she’s bored at work. The other day she texted my landlord claiming it’s an emergency to ask him to wake me up knocking on my door. Naturally I was angry and told him not to listen to her again. So I turned my phone off so she couldn’t ring me and now she has rung some Scottish charity crying. Am I in the wrong here or is she?
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Anonymous #2
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I used to do this with my boyfriend, he used to have a terrible sleeping habit and messaged me at like 3 or 4pm, I'm an early bird so get up 7:30 to 8am most days so I spent a lot of time missing and wanting to talk to him. I do understand why she would be upset, I assume she wants your attention, I mean she is your girlfriend so she deserves all the attention you can give her and she most likely misses you. Turning your phone off would really upset her I think, it might have made her think that you don't want to spend time with her, or that you are fed up with her. Obviously, this is your relationship and I don't know her or you so everything I'm saying could be useless or nonsense... I personally think you are in the wrong though. My boyfriend fixed his sleeping patterns, we're both happy as we get to spend more time with each other... I think you should apologise, she seems quite upset?
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efficientonion
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She definitely shouldn't be getting the landlord involved! Either you decide (for yourself, not for her) to amend your sleeping pattern if you want to or you both accept that in the morning/early afternoon you don't talk to each other.

I can see why she's upset but her behaviour seems a bit reactive/anxious. Maybe you need to have a proper conversation about it.
Last edited by efficientonion; 1 month ago
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Buttmuffin
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’ve gotten into a bad sleeping habit over lockdown and usually wake up between 1-3pm. She has taken to ringing me most days to try and wake me up to talk to me when she’s bored at work. The other day she texted my landlord claiming it’s an emergency to ask him to wake me up knocking on my door. Naturally I was angry and told him not to listen to her again. So I turned my phone off so she couldn’t ring me and now she has rung some Scottish charity crying. Am I in the wrong here or is she?
dude, just wake up earlier lol

stop being unhealthy
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I used to do this with my boyfriend, he used to have a terrible sleeping habit and messaged me at like 3 or 4pm, I'm an early bird so get up 7:30 to 8am most days so I spent a lot of time missing and wanting to talk to him. I do understand why she would be upset, I assume she wants your attention, I mean she is your girlfriend so she deserves all the attention you can give her and she most likely misses you. Turning your phone off would really upset her I think, it might have made her think that you don't want to spend time with her, or that you are fed up with her. Obviously, this is your relationship and I don't know her or you so everything I'm saying could be useless or nonsense... I personally think you are in the wrong though. My boyfriend fixed his sleeping patterns, we're both happy as we get to spend more time with each other... I think you should apologise, she seems quite upset?
Would you ring his landlord to wake him up though?
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Would you ring his landlord to wake him up though?
Good point. That might have been a step too far, if she had a problem she should have spoken to you about it.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Good point. That might have been a step too far, if she had a problem she should have spoken to you about it.
Now can you see why I’m pissed?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by efficientonion)
She definitely shouldn't be getting the landlord involved! Either you decide (for yourself, not for her) to amend your sleeping pattern if you want to or you both accept that in the morning/early afternoon you don't talk to each other.

I can see why she's upset but her behaviour seems a bit reactive/anxious. Maybe you need to have a proper conversation about it.
I’ve had many conversations with her, they all seem to boil down to get saying “I want you awake earlier because I say so”
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Foxehh
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Its probably a bit concerning for her that you're not answering your phone for hours at a time. Not something to contact the landlord over though.
Have you talked to her about this and told her you're just sleeping late out of habit?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by LovelyMrFox)
Its probably a bit concerning for her that you're not answering your phone for hours at a time. Not something to contact the landlord over though.
Have you talked to her about this and told her you're just sleeping late out of habit?
Yes! She knows this yet still continues to act like this; all discussion seems to boil down to “I want you awake because I say so”
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Now can you see why I’m pissed?
Yes, I do. Also, her argument isn't a very strong one... has she told you exactly why or is it just coz she 'wants you too'?
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Foxehh
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yes! She knows this yet still continues to act like this; all discussion seems to boil down to “I want you awake because I say so”
She sounds quite immature. You can either let her cry to herself and hope she gets over it or break up.
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Anonymous #1
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Now she’s crying again because I said there is no objective reason for me to wake up earlier. I think she needs help, it’s not normal to react like this to your partner sleeping late surely?
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nikki.maria
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’ve gotten into a bad sleeping habit over lockdown and usually wake up between 1-3pm. She has taken to ringing me most days to try and wake me up to talk to me when she’s bored at work. The other day she texted my landlord claiming it’s an emergency to ask him to wake me up knocking on my door. Naturally I was angry and told him not to listen to her again. So I turned my phone off so she couldn’t ring me and now she has rung some Scottish charity crying. Am I in the wrong here or is she?
lmao nah this is ****ed up. she needs to respect you & your boundaries, & she clearly isnt.
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efficientonion
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’ve had many conversations with her, they all seem to boil down to get saying “I want you awake earlier because I say so”
Yeah, she can't control your life like that.

My boyfriend works nights sometimes and I don't like it, because we see each other for like an hour at a time on opposite sleep schedules. But, that's his decision, his life, etc. I wouldn't ever ask him to change it for me because it suits him, and he'd resent me for making him change his routine. You still get your evenings together I'm assuming? If she can't deal with it, and you feel like she's crossing boundaries then maybe you should rethink whether she is right for you. Obviously I don't know either of you but it seems unhealthy. Plus with the landlord thing... what if there was an emergency, a real one, and your landlord didn't take it seriously because of what's happened in the past?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by nikki.maria)
lmao nah this is ****ed up. she needs to respect you & your boundaries, & she clearly isnt.
Thank you! Finally someone with sense
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by efficientonion)
Yeah, she can't control your life like that.

My boyfriend works nights sometimes and I don't like it, because we see each other for like an hour at a time on opposite sleep schedules. But, that's his decision, his life, etc. I wouldn't ever ask him to change it for me because it suits him, and he'd resent me for making him change his routine. You still get your evenings together I'm assuming? If she can't deal with it, and you feel like she's crossing boundaries then maybe you should rethink whether she is right for you. Obviously I don't know either of you but it seems unhealthy. Plus with the landlord thing... what if there was an emergency, a real one, and your landlord didn't take it seriously because of what's happened in the past?
Yeah normally I’ll wake up about 2:30/3pm naturally and we’ll talk from there. Do you think it’s normal for her to have rung a mental health charity because she rang up waking me up (AGAIN) and I turned my phone off for a few hours?
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nutz99
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She sounds a little controlling. If there are other instances of her wanting your complete attention all the time then this does not bode well for the future.

You might need to consider whether your future lies with her or not.
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efficientonion
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah normally I’ll wake up about 2:30/3pm naturally and we’ll talk from there. Do you think it’s normal for her to have rung a mental health charity because she rang up waking me up (AGAIN) and I turned my phone off for a few hours?
She doesn't sound like she is in the best state mental health-wise, so if she was calling to get some help - then sure. But if she's calling them up to rant about you then....

Why does she need to talk to you before you wake up? What are her reasons for getting upset
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Final Fantasy
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’ve gotten into a bad sleeping habit over lockdown and usually wake up between 1-3pm. She has taken to ringing me most days to try and wake me up to talk to me when she’s bored at work. The other day she texted my landlord claiming it’s an emergency to ask him to wake me up knocking on my door. Naturally I was angry and told him not to listen to her again. So I turned my phone off so she couldn’t ring me and now she has rung some Scottish charity crying. Am I in the wrong here or is she?
Yeah it's normal behaviour. Stop overreacting. Get up in the morning like everyone else. Your partner just trying to make you be less lazy.
Last edited by Final Fantasy; 1 month ago
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