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24 year old at university, starting to become depressed, could do with some help

I could do with some support guys and I appreciate people taking time to read this post.

I’ve just turned 24 about to graduate in BEng Civil engineering and have been very depressed and anxious recently due to my age, story and career journey compared to my peers and could really do with some advice.

Backstory: I messed up my A-levels and had to take another year to do them again. I got average/poor grades after completing that which led me to do a foundation year (FY) at a university for electrical engineering. I did well in the FY and applied for a higher-ranking Russel group university. I got admission into the uni but quickly realised that I hated the high-pressure and competitive environment nonetheless I decided to stay on and strive to be better. I became overwhelmingly anxious and stressed all the time and had lost much confidence in myself whilst at that university, without telling anybody.

Despite working extremely hard, I barely passed the first year and failed the second year which led me to being thrown out of that university. I was depressed at that stage due to the many years wasted but on the positive side, I had completed several extra-curricular activities and internships at top companies whilst at the uni which were as a result of hard work and high the university ranking of the university I was in opening opportunities.
I decided to pick up my pride and I repeated my second year at the same uni I did my FY in. I did well in the repeated year obtaining a 2:1 and I am now in final year about to be 24 and graduate. I feel stressed all the time because I’m applying for graduate schemes with my backstory and I am not sure how to navigate from this having spent five years for a course most people complete in three with unfavourable grades at a-level. I know the job market is dire at the moment and it’s embarrassing when I look at my peers thriving in their careers compared to mine, leading me to withdraw from social media.

I feel exhausted and hopeless and my career hasn’t even begun yet. A master’s degree would be advantageous with employment/ chartership but I’ll be 25/26 at the time of completion and it’s depressing because I’ve felt like my prime years have been spent struggling in academia without a career whilst 30 is just around the corner.

I really could do with some advice and thank you for taking the time to read this.
First of all take a deep breath. Look at yourself in the mirror and say well done! Appreciate yourself! You’ve come this far and it’s no easy feat!
Secondly Don’t compare your life journey with others. We all live at our own pace. You’re 24, your life has only started! Trust me. I took two years out before med school, then spent some hard 6 years there and have only just started working. My school friends are engaged and are planing to buy houses. Am I sad? No! Life gives us what we want when we work for it!
Focus on your final year and plan smart to get a job. Everything else will fall into place. Have short term goals too and reward yourself often, even if it’s a small par on your own back
Basically this ^

You’ve overcome a lot to be where you are, you’re obviously determined and resilient. Life isn’t a race, I’m going back to uni at 26 to start a career so it’s never really too late to be doing something.

I’d maybe look into what support your uni can offer you, like study support or even their wellbeing/mental health support. I know it’s easier said than done but try not to be too hard on yourself. Is there someone you know you can talk to about this? I always vented at a close friend when I was having a rough time in my first degree.
Massive respect to u for going back to complete, if I were an employer I'd hire you anyday no cap. You may not understand what you're going through, most of us dont but trust me you'll look back at this and laugh one day. More time people make 'big bucks' through side hustles than these so-called jobs anyways. Look at GymShark for example. Eric Thomas took 10 years to complete a 3 year degree - and now he's amongst one of the most influential motivational speakers making thousands per lecture.

Life is a most definitely not a sprint man, but a marathon! Take your time, sit down, breathe and just take a min to think don't be too harsh on yourself. If you ain't got a hold of yourself on that level, no one will. So maybe sort your mindset out first- listen to motivational talks, Tedtalks and go from there.

To make u feel better, I ain't perfect myself - when I look back at myself I think I'm way to harsh on myself sometimes, very self-critical and just like u it affects you. I'm saying this to show u these 'perfect posts' don't do justice on what people go through and I think it should make u feel better knowing there's people struggling like u.. it's not as daunting as you may think as long as u can accept and move on. I know a guy thats 40 years at uni, another guy whos 24. I read a post for Pwc a guy got accepted for grad scheme at 27 - so dont worry too much about it. It dont matter how long it takes, stand tall and always show up. Feel free to PM if u need to. (sorry for my grammar cba correcting)
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civic7
15
I did my A Levels over 3 years, went to university and had to retake many modules due to mental health. I then left my course because it was getting so complicated and my mental health had been really bad since I left school. I then did a physics foundation year but had to leave again due to health problems. Then my psychologist suggested I might be autistic and we went through with an assessment somewhere else and it turns out she was correct. I'm considering taking another foundation year however it can get really depressing and tiresome repeating years/courses and I understand how difficult it might be for you. My only advice is to try not to panic as this was where I made mistakes and get the support that is available to you at home/university as this is where I failed also.
Hey!

I've been on your shoes: it's not fun.

So, don't compare yourself to others. I know I could have chosen a different degree or a different faculty which would led me to (maybe) thrive in a career like a lot of my friends, but that's not the path I'm taking. I learned a lot from spending those "prime years struggling in academia" and I'll play the cards I've been delt to the best of my abilities.

Evaluate what are the viable jobs for you and decide whether a masters make sense. You might find that it does!

Good Luck :biggrin:
(edited 3 years ago)

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