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can someone please mark my 16 mark history question?

“The failure of the marriage to Anne of Cleves was the main reason for Thomas Cromwell's execution”

How far do you agree? (16 marks)


Cromwell was king Henry's most key and trusted advisors. However due to many reasons Cromwell was executed due to accusations of heresy. I disagree with this statement because I think that the main reason for Thomas Cromwell's execution was the Duke of Norfolk.

One reason I disagree with this statement is because the woman that henry wanted to be his new wife (Catherine Howard) was the niece of the duke of Norfolk and the duke had asked Catherine to poison Cromwell's reputation with henry. Early in 1540 he instructed Catherine to spread rumours that Cromwell had not been putting enough effort into securing the divorce from Anne of Cleves. These rumours started to get believed by Henry which would prove terrible for Cromwell as the duke is trying to turn Henry against Cromwell because the duke of Norfolk knew that if Henry was angry with Cromwell then he would make Cromwell face consequences. The duke knew that these consequences could prove to be fatal just like what happened with Wolsey. However Cromwell fought back by having the dukes priory knocked down. This enraged the duke even more as it was his family's burial ground so he had to arrange for the bones to be dug up and get them reburied. This would cause the duke to find more ways to try and turn Henry against Cromwell which would lead to Cromwell's execution.

Another reason why I disagree with this statement is because of Cromwell's protestant beliefs. This again included the duke of Norfolk. The duke said that Cromwell was trying to introduce protestantism fully in England. The duke of Norfolk knew that if Henry had believed him then this would be sure to turn Henry against Cromwell. however, this was not actually true because Cromwell was not stupid and he would never go against the kings wishes. Unfortunately for Cromwell, Henry believed the rumours and believed that Cromwell was planning to introduce Protestantism fully to England. This would have angered Henry a lot because Henry was still a catholic at heart and opposed this idea. Tension began to heighten between the duke of Norfolk and Cromwell. Cromwell was determined to get rid of the duke from Henry's court. He said that the duke had come into contact with someone with sweating sickness. This would have meant that the duke would be sent out of court. However, the duke managed to convince Henry that this was not the case and Henry believed him. This was the final straw for the duke and as he was so close to the king he managed to convince him that Cromwell was heretic. This would have led to Cromwell's execution because Henry was ruthless and anyone that goes against him would be punished.

On the other hand some people may agree with this statement because they may argue that the marriage to Anne of Cleves is where Cromwell's downfall began. England did not really have many allies and they needed to get some just in case England went to war. Cromwell came up with a plan. This plan was to get Henry to marry a foreign princess to help form an alliance with that country. This proved to be a difficult task for Crowell as many kings did not want their daughters to marry Henry because of Henry killing his wives. However after much effort Cromwell had found a foreign princess for Henry to marry who goes by the name of Anne of Cleves. Cromwell had planned the wedding. But just as Anne of Cleves came to England and Henry saw her he said to Cromwell “I like her not, I like her not”. After much convincing from Cromwell, Henry had married Anne to form the alliance . as well as not liking her looks she did not suit Henry's court either as she only knew household tasks. Henry then annulled his marriage with Anne. Which causes some people to say Henry was very angry with Cromwell for this so it led to his execution.

However I believe that this is not true because later that year Cromwell was made Earl of Essex. Due to Cromwell being born in such a low class this angered the duke of Norfolk which led to the fall of Cromwell.

In conclusion, I disagree with this statement because although the failure of the marriage to Anne of Cleves angered Henry there were much bigger reasons that led to the execution of Cromwell. The main reason would be the duke of Norfolk because he was very close to the king and did things to turn Henry against Cromwell for example. He got Catherine Howard to spread rumours that Cromwell was not trying enough to secure the annulment which Henry believed. He also said that Cromwell was planning to introduce Protestantism to England (which Henry was fully against) and Henry also believed the duke here too.
Hi there! Year 12 here and I'm assuming this is a GCSE essay, I had a similar style question at GCSE. Your structure for the 16-marker is pretty much spot on, the only thing is I was told to ALWAYS start with the factor in the question. My structure was always: introduction, factor in question, another factor, another factor, conclusion (you seem to have a very small paragraph just before the end, you can just add this on to your 3rd paragraph!). Also you should avoid using first person to get into the top bands.

I haven't actually studied Anne of Cleves and I've only recently studied Thomas Cromwell but I think I can give you some general feedback. Your introduction doesn't really seem to flow to me and I think you should have written more about the factor in the question in your intro, I think you should have written something along the lines of "Undeniably, Cromwell was one of King Henry VIII's most key and trusted advisors (you don't actually need this first sentence!). While the failure of the marriage to Anne of Cleves was a reason for Thomas Cromwell's execution, it certainly was not the main one. There were many reasons for the execution of Cromwell such as ... and ... Undisputedly, however, the main reason for Cromwell's execution was ......."

In your intro you need to sound assured (without a doubt, undeniably, undisputedly etc...) as it will help to make your argument stronger. You need to identify (within your intro) another factor that contributed to the execution of Cromwell and the main factor (thus, you should have 3 factors total, including the one in the question).

Watch out with your capitalisation (Henry, the King, the Crown, Duke of Norfolk etc... they all should always be capitalised).

I think the big thing about this answer is that it reads like a story and no essay answer should read like a story - you need to explain WHY, rather than tell a detailed story - Yes Cromwell said the Duke had come into contact with someone who was suffering from sweating sickness...so what? How did this lead to his execution?

Your own knowledge is pretty good, it's just a little too vague (think of putting like in 1532 this happened etc and being a bit more specific) and I think if you try to stop you answer sounding like a story it could get better!

Sorry for the somewhat extended criticism - these criticism relate to somebody aiming for the top band and going for full marks (and you could be, who am I to know!) but if you incorporate some into your answers you could improve your answer a lot and potentially go for full marks. In terms of marks I'm not sure what I would give this, as honestly I've somewhat forgotten the GCSE mark scheme criteria for grading but I don't think you'd be getting into the top two bands (band 4 and 5 i think it is?) just yet, maybe a band 2 or 3?

If you have any questions about anything I've said, please just ask me and I'll do my best to help! :smile:
Reply 2
Original post by TheHistoryNerd_
Hi there! Year 12 here and I'm assuming this is a GCSE essay, I had a similar style question at GCSE. Your structure for the 16-marker is pretty much spot on, the only thing is I was told to ALWAYS start with the factor in the question. My structure was always: introduction, factor in question, another factor, another factor, conclusion (you seem to have a very small paragraph just before the end, you can just add this on to your 3rd paragraph!). Also you should avoid using first person to get into the top bands.

I haven't actually studied Anne of Cleves and I've only recently studied Thomas Cromwell but I think I can give you some general feedback. Your introduction doesn't really seem to flow to me and I think you should have written more about the factor in the question in your intro, I think you should have written something along the lines of "Undeniably, Cromwell was one of King Henry VIII's most key and trusted advisors (you don't actually need this first sentence!). While the failure of the marriage to Anne of Cleves was a reason for Thomas Cromwell's execution, it certainly was not the main one. There were many reasons for the execution of Cromwell such as ... and ... Undisputedly, however, the main reason for Cromwell's execution was ......."

In your intro you need to sound assured (without a doubt, undeniably, undisputedly etc...) as it will help to make your argument stronger. You need to identify (within your intro) another factor that contributed to the execution of Cromwell and the main factor (thus, you should have 3 factors total, including the one in the question).

Watch out with your capitalisation (Henry, the King, the Crown, Duke of Norfolk etc... they all should always be capitalised).

I think the big thing about this answer is that it reads like a story and no essay answer should read like a story - you need to explain WHY, rather than tell a detailed story - Yes Cromwell said the Duke had come into contact with someone who was suffering from sweating sickness...so what? How did this lead to his execution?

Your own knowledge is pretty good, it's just a little too vague (think of putting like in 1532 this happened etc and being a bit more specific) and I think if you try to stop you answer sounding like a story it could get better!

Sorry for the somewhat extended criticism - these criticism relate to somebody aiming for the top band and going for full marks (and you could be, who am I to know!) but if you incorporate some into your answers you could improve your answer a lot and potentially go for full marks. In terms of marks I'm not sure what I would give this, as honestly I've somewhat forgotten the GCSE mark scheme criteria for grading but I don't think you'd be getting into the top two bands (band 4 and 5 i think it is?) just yet, maybe a band 2 or 3?

If you have any questions about anything I've said, please just ask me and I'll do my best to help! :smile:

thank you for your feedback ill try to apply your feedback into future GCSE questions

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