The Student Room Group

Narrative opening for English

Can someone check if this is okay?

I squinted as I tried reading my notes, the bulb was lit dimly, and the night was furious tonight. Even the moon seemed far away and dim. My eyes ached, craving sleep and fought against staying awake. But the guilt-the guilt kept me up. I furiously flipped pages, in search for an answer, any answer.

My fingers were sore from scrubbing the floor earlier on, and I yearned for a hot bath. My hair was in a dull, loose braid, I could feel grease and dirt on my scalp ,my fingernails were long and dirty. I sort of found comfort in the fact that my mother was not here to see the awful state of me. She’d be disappointed to say the least.

I suddenly found myself at the end of another book, I let out a long sigh and then grunted in exasperation. My legs felt numb, so I stiffly stood up , bumping my head against the low ceiling in the process, and made my way out. The harsh wind of the sea stung my cheeks and I felt a few droplets of rain kiss the top of my head. I tasted salt on my lips and winced as I put my sore hands on the freezing cold railing, after a few moments the wounds on my fingers found pleasure against the coolness of the rail.

I stared at the vast, dark sea, free and alive. It roared in anger, as the sky growled. The ominous clouds shaded the hopeful moon.
Reply 1
Its only an opening so obviously it’s not finished

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