boyfriend at uni

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Anonymous #1
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I have a boyfriend we have been going out for a while and I generally see myself with him in the future. I am going to uni this September and he isn't, iv been so exciting about it, I always tell him how excited I am but he tends to be not that enthusiastic and just sad about the topic which I understand. but it makes me feel bad and ruins the exiting feeling of starting a new chapter in my life. we have talked about freshers and he is very keen to come and see me a lot he mentioned that he wanted to be there for my whole freshers week. I said I wasn't too knee and wanted some time on my own to make friends but he compromised with letting me do my own thing while he waits in my door/flat. this isn't quite what I wanted. I want to make loads of new cool friends and become more me on my own exploring the possibility of my life. they way it's making me feel a lot differently about our relationship, it's not that I want to have freshers to go made and get with loads of guys I just want to be on my own with my own friends. I need help do I just see what happens even when I can see a heartbreak in the future.
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666aaron
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dump im
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candydiva
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Classic freshman dilemma...girl goes to college boy stays at home... u already know this will never work and already u r trying to work around the resentments u can feel building which include his efforts to rein u in and control ur social life.

This is y so many rels fail at this time. Make it easier on u and him and break it now coz this xact sit always leads to stress and frustration.
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ADarling
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I have a boyfriend we have been going out for a while and I generally see myself with him in the future. I am going to uni this September and he isn't, iv been so exciting about it, I always tell him how excited I am but he tends to be not that enthusiastic and just sad about the topic which I understand. but it makes me feel bad and ruins the exiting feeling of starting a new chapter in my life. we have talked about freshers and he is very keen to come and see me a lot he mentioned that he wanted to be there for my whole freshers week. I said I wasn't too knee and wanted some time on my own to make friends but he compromised with letting me do my own thing while he waits in my door/flat. this isn't quite what I wanted. I want to make loads of new cool friends and become more me on my own exploring the possibility of my life. they way it's making me feel a lot differently about our relationship, it's not that I want to have freshers to go made and get with loads of guys I just want to be on my own with my own friends. I need help do I just see what happens even when I can see a heartbreak in the future.
maybe he's worried that while your at uni you'll grow apart
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StriderHort
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Relationship sounds a dead end tbh, you 'generally' see you yourself together in the future? That more sounds like comfort/convenience than intent.

Your life is moving ahead, his isn't for whatever reason and the impression is you'll be outgrowing him a bit sooner rather than later. The whole 'Angry Devoted Cuck!' room waiting persona kinda seals it. I suspect he knows fine well this is likely the end one way or another.
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marple
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I have a boyfriend we have been going out for a while and I generally see myself with him in the future. I am going to uni this September and he isn't, iv been so exciting about it, I always tell him how excited I am but he tends to be not that enthusiastic and just sad about the topic which I understand. but it makes me feel bad and ruins the exiting feeling of starting a new chapter in my life. we have talked about freshers and he is very keen to come and see me a lot he mentioned that he wanted to be there for my whole freshers week. I said I wasn't too knee and wanted some time on my own to make friends but he compromised with letting me do my own thing while he waits in my door/flat. this isn't quite what I wanted. I want to make loads of new cool friends and become more me on my own exploring the possibility of my life. they way it's making me feel a lot differently about our relationship, it's not that I want to have freshers to go made and get with loads of guys I just want to be on my own with my own friends. I need help do I just see what happens even when I can see a heartbreak in the future.
It isn't fair on your future flatmates to have him lodging with you for a week, and it's almost certainly against the university accommodation rules (visits are typically allowed for a couple of nights). Tell him to come the following weekend when you'll have lots of new people to introduce him to.
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garlicbread5
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I have a boyfriend we have been going out for a while and I generally see myself with him in the future. I am going to uni this September and he isn't, iv been so exciting about it, I always tell him how excited I am but he tends to be not that enthusiastic and just sad about the topic which I understand. but it makes me feel bad and ruins the exiting feeling of starting a new chapter in my life. we have talked about freshers and he is very keen to come and see me a lot he mentioned that he wanted to be there for my whole freshers week. I said I wasn't too knee and wanted some time on my own to make friends but he compromised with letting me do my own thing while he waits in my door/flat. this isn't quite what I wanted. I want to make loads of new cool friends and become more me on my own exploring the possibility of my life. they way it's making me feel a lot differently about our relationship, it's not that I want to have freshers to go made and get with loads of guys I just want to be on my own with my own friends. I need help do I just see what happens even when I can see a heartbreak in the future.
I feel the exact same. However, I am in a relationship at the moment but really wanna be single when I go to uni since its time to found out who you are. Its a fresh start and I don't want anything holding me back while I am there. But its up to you, maybe if you haven't already tell him that you want some time on your own to make friends and explain wherever you are going to uni but he can definitely still come and see you but you just want some time to get yourself settled in first.
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Adz2042
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I have a boyfriend we have been going out for a while and I generally see myself with him in the future. I am going to uni this September and he isn't, iv been so exciting about it, I always tell him how excited I am but he tends to be not that enthusiastic and just sad about the topic which I understand. but it makes me feel bad and ruins the exiting feeling of starting a new chapter in my life. we have talked about freshers and he is very keen to come and see me a lot he mentioned that he wanted to be there for my whole freshers week. I said I wasn't too knee and wanted some time on my own to make friends but he compromised with letting me do my own thing while he waits in my door/flat. this isn't quite what I wanted. I want to make loads of new cool friends and become more me on my own exploring the possibility of my life. they way it's making me feel a lot differently about our relationship, it's not that I want to have freshers to go made and get with loads of guys I just want to be on my own with my own friends. I need help do I just see what happens even when I can see a heartbreak in the future.
Just remember that freshers may happen virtually online this year, as nightclubs may not re-open. As a clubber myself, I would love to see them open, but the way the UK govt are handling the vaccination programme (if it's to be believed), all adults (18+) will get their 1st shot of the vaccine by end of July.
Which means the 2nd dose will likely be given by the end of the 23rd October (12 weeks). This is long past the supposed "freshers" week if Universities are opening in September.
So remain optimistic about whether freshers will go ahead with the clubbing, mixing etc.

Secondly, relationships can work in the run up to university, and throughout it, but as many have said in the thread, uni is also a place to discover yourself, where you want to end up (career wise) and who you want to be friends with. Of course you can still be friends with your old ones from school + college days, but remember, school and college are limited on who you can meet.
Uni generally has 800-1,100 students (ish), which is a massive amount of people to make friends with / get with.
As always, join the threads here on TSR that are specific to your university choice, to make friends ahead of when you start, so you fit in
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