My boyfriend gets along better with his female best friend than me.

Original post by Iuliana99999

We've only been dating for 5 months and they know each other for almost 2 years, but I genuinely see him enjoying himself more talking to her? They also call each other daily, say they miss each other. One day he forgot to call her cause we had a nice date, and she called upset about it and he joked how he will "make her a priority". They also used to be fwb.

Get rid of him ASAP is my advice

wouldn't be surprised if he was doing her right now behind your back tbh..

Reply 2

username5398004

0

Ignore the person above.

You should talk to him about it. Relationships need communication and if you're concerned about something, then it needs to be talked about.

Maybe it's nothing and it's just because they've been friends for such a long time and your relationship isn't that old. But maybe there is something going on. The only way to find out is to sit down and talk about it.

Reply 3

OP

Original post by ItsStarLordMan

Ignore the person above.

You should talk to him about it. Relationships need communication and if you're concerned about something, then it needs to be talked about.

Maybe it's nothing and it's just because they've been friends for such a long time and your relationship isn't that old. But maybe there is something going on. The only way to find out is to sit down and talk about it.

We have talked about it before, since I feel like I can tell him everything. He is very very affectionate and reassuring, and says he understands how this is affecting me, but the only thing this did is make him hide a bit more, like have conversations with her in another room, or pick up her calls later. And I dislike that ever more than hearing him say "I miss youuu" on the phone...

Reply 4

username5398004

0

Original post by Iuliana99999

We have talked about it before, since I feel like I can tell him everything. He is very very affectionate and reassuring, and says he understands how this is affecting me, but the only thing this did is make him hide a bit more, like have conversations with her in another room, or pick up her calls later. And I dislike that ever more than hearing him say "I miss youuu" on the phone...

Oh... that's not good. I'm not really sure what to tell you to be honest. You've addressed the issue and you feel worse. You can either do nothing, try to talk to him about it again or break up and explain why. That's all I can say. But it doesn't mean he's a bad guy or that he doesn't love you, it could be as simple as he has a really good friend

Reply 5

becausethenight

19

The thing is, he's known her for longer and they're good friends. I would be very careful of turning this into a "me or her" situation as he might pick her!
From what you've said they do sound exceptionally close but I wouldn't assume he likes her romantically because of that - I have similar relationships with very close friends (eg holding hands, long phone calls) and my partner teases me about it. I don't want to date them at all and he knows that; the issue here seems to be that your partner isn't giving you the same reassurance (and possibly part of that is because you haven't been together such a long time).

It sounds like you've talked to him about it which is a good first step! I would probably try and have another converstaion and explain that him 'hiding' it actually makes you feel more stressed. He might need to talk to her about talking a little less (it is incredibly hard to have a one hour phone call with someone every day and it is reasonable to ask him not to when you're on a date and spending time together). Ultimately what matters is how you feel and if your partner is willing to keep channels of communication open and reassure you.

It might also be good for you to get to know this friend, since after all she's clearly a big part of his life?

:goodluck:

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by Iuliana99999

We've only been dating for 5 months and they know each other for almost 2 years, but I genuinely see him enjoying himself more talking to her? They also call each other daily, say they miss each other. One day he forgot to call her cause we had a nice date, and she called upset about it and he joked how he will "make her a priority". They also used to be fwb.

I think a guy should respect his partner especially since you have expressed concerns/ discomfort (?) about this. Of course this doesn't mean he has to cut off his female best friend entirely but he could at least draw some boundaries. Personally I would feel uncomfortable because they were previously fwb. It all comes down to how you would feel if this will continue in the long run. A relationship shouldn't be a burden or stressful to you (having small arguments is another story). If this adversely affects you... then I think you know the answer.

Reply 7

ANM775

Original post by ItsStarLordMan

Ignore the person above.

Reply 8

username5398004

0

Original post by ANM775

Reply 9

Zarek

21

I would just be totally non possessive about it and see how that affects his behaviour. Alternatively tell him to make a thousand babies with her and find someone better.

Reply 10

chris2791

16

Original post by Iuliana99999

We've only been dating for 5 months and they know each other for almost 2 years, but I genuinely see him enjoying himself more talking to her? They also call each other daily, say they miss each other. One day he forgot to call her cause we had a nice date, and she called upset about it and he joked how he will "make her a priority". They also used to be fwb.

Sounds very much a Charles and Camilla affair to me! Next thing you know they are sending each other personalised engraved jewellery, and secret visits together to Sandringham!

Reply 11

OP

I completely forgot I posted this until now. Thank you everyone for your answers. I think you deserve an update. We ended up dating for only 1 year, moved in together after graduation and while I left on a week-long trip to see my mum the female best friend called me to say she is pregnant with his child and is throwing me out of the house. He did not have a backbone and I ended up homeless for about a month because of that, and never recovered my belongings from that house. They had an affair in the last 6 months of our relationship because she could not stand how close we were and decided to confess, and yet "I was treating him too well to leave me". Oh well. I did sleep with his brother after that, the girl lost the pregnancy, my ex wanted to break up with her over it (quite terrible of him even though I don't like her) but she begged him not to and then cheated on him 🙂 I wish I was making this all up, it sounds like a telenovela!! He came back crawling to me after she cheated (he did not know about the brother at that point) and I accepted, had s*x with him one last time and then told him about the brother. He was absolutely mortified. I almost felt bad but it was worth it. Been happily dating someone for the past 2 years, no female best friends in sight!

Reply 12

OP

Original post by chris2791

Sounds very much a Charles and Camilla affair to me! Next thing you know they are sending each other personalised engraved jewellery, and secret visits together to Sandringham!

You were almost on point, they were having secret visits and sending love letters to each other lol

Reply 13

OP