The Student Room Group
Uni students - Complete our survey >>
Uni students - Complete our survey >>
Uni students - Complete our survey >>

Should I end it over politics?

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a while and I recently found out he is a conservative. I strongly believe the opposite.

It feels like I’ve lost all my feelings for him because of this which I know sound stupid but we have different beliefs.

I don’t know if I’ll be able to look at him in the same way and how I see this working out in the future.

I don’t know what to do.

Scroll to see replies

Don’t break up with him because he supports another party lol. See how it goes first as he might actually be respectful of your views etc but if he’s shoving it down your throat or uses it against you then yes I would suggest breaking up
End it..

Different people have different fundamental principles that they base relationships on. Politics isn’t one for most people, but if it is for you, there isn’t anything that can change it.

Although be prepared, the chances are nationally speaking in 40 years you'll both be a conservative and be married to one anyway! It’s not the evil thing you’ve been lead to believe, it’s just a different way of thinking about the world
Well if you feel strongly about it nothing a rando online will say will change your mind about someone you already know.

You'd hope, I shouldn't have to add that, but I do.
Reply 4
Avatar for Surnia
Surnia
20
Sounds like you're looking for an excuse to end the relationship, which is a definite reason to end it.

I'm religious, my boyfriend isn't; we respect each other for it. Everyone is different, so what are you going to pick for a deal-breaker next time? It's pretty immature if you can't see past someone not having exactly the same beliefs as you. Enjoy trying to find a male clone of yourself...
Reply 5
Avatar for Echo2006
Echo2006
3
Original post by Anonymous
Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a while and I recently found out he is a conservative. I strongly believe the opposite.

It feels like I’ve lost all my feelings for him because of this which I know sound stupid but we have different beliefs.

I don’t know if I’ll be able to look at him in the same way and how I see this working out in the future.

I don’t know what to do.

Damm karen
Original post by Anonymous
Lol so much for democracy right? 😂

End it, he deserves better than someone who's willing to break up over another opinion.

What's democracy got to do with it? :tongue: Voicing an opinion is one thing, going out and voting to try and make it happen is another.
Wtf stop shaming her for considering breaking up with him because he is conservative. Being conservative can have many different forms and you all have no idea what kind of conservative he is. He could be anti-LGBT+ community, he could be racist, or he could just be against state supported health care or pro-life or have just about anything that OP considers deal breaker that is typically considered "conservative". I would consider any of these to be a deal breakers in a long term relationship, because they go against my fundamental beliefs. Everyone has different fundamental beliefs. There is nothing wrong with ending things with someone if you already know you that they are not the person who shares your most fundamental beliefs about life. Like, it would just end in unhappiness and divorce in 99.9% cases.
Reply 8
Avatar for Zarek
Zarek
21
You don’t have to agree with your partner on everything, diversity and mutual challenge is one of the interesting aspects of a relationship. This said if you have some fundamental and clashing differences in outlook it doesn’t bode well for when the sexual attraction settles down. Don’t think I could have a long term relationship with someone very right wing no matter how hot 🤔
Original post by Catsarepurrfect
Wtf stop shaming her for considering breaking up with him because he is conservative. Being conservative can have many different forms and you all have no idea what kind of conservative he is. He could be anti-LGBT+ community, he could be racist, or he could just be against state supported health care or pro-life or have just about anything that OP considers deal breaker that is typically considered "conservative". I would consider any of these to be a deal breakers in a long term relationship, because they go against my fundamental beliefs. Everyone has different fundamental beliefs. There is nothing wrong with ending things with someone if you already know you that they are not the person who shares your most fundamental beliefs about life. Like, it would just end in unhappiness and divorce in 99.9% cases.


You’re purely going off assumptions and you’re telling them to stop shaming her while you’re actively shaming HIM??
Trust your gut instinct and keep to your attraction dealbreakers. :smile:
If you have zero tolerance for your bf's voting history, private opinions or general topics of conversation- the relationship won't be a happy or calm one that provides you with positive life experience to look back on.

I've dated guys from all over the political spectrum with contrasting political and religious opinions to mine.
From the trots of SWP to lib dems, fine gael to DUP members, greens to one nation conservatives and american hardcore nra republicans who would later support maga.
Lots of valuable life experience.
I think you should break up, I broke up with my first ever boyfriend when I found out he had right wing beliefs
It seems kind of immature and childish that you can't accept your boyfriend having different political beliefs. But if it's genuinely that much of a problem for you, then yeah, you should probably break up with him.
Reply 13
Avatar for alvarou
alvarou
6
Politics is not just about identity politics btw.
Original post by mason.taylor.16
You’re purely going off assumptions and you’re telling them to stop shaming her while you’re actively shaming HIM??


Read my post again. I NEVER shamed him and said he is these things (anti-lgbt+ etc.) I said he COULD be. There is a big difference. I used examples that came most readily to my mind when someone says conservative and that go against my most fundamental beliefs to demonstrate my point. I also didn't shame anyone who agrees with the examples i gave, even though i personally stronly disagree with them. I only stated that these would be deal breakers for me, but nowhere did i say that these are wrong, because that is purely subjective. So no. I didn't shame him or anyone else, since i never claimed he does/believes all these things, i only said that he could possibly believe/do one or more of these things.
Original post by StriderHort
What's democracy got to do with it? :tongue: Voicing an opinion is one thing, going out and voting to try and make it happen is another.



Enforcing your belief on someone by borderline psychological torture is hardly 'voicing an opinion'.

OP should respect that people have different opinions on how the country is run. If by the fact that he is a tory is enough to cut the ties, then the bf is avoiding a bullet by dumping her lol.

Later on it'll be other petty things.
Original post by Catsarepurrfect
Read my post again. I NEVER shamed him and said he is these things (anti-lgbt+ etc.) I said he COULD be. There is a big difference. I used examples that came most readily to my mind when someone says conservative and that go against my most fundamental beliefs to demonstrate my point. I also didn't shame anyone who agrees with the examples i gave, even though i personally stronly disagree with them. I only stated that these would be deal breakers for me, but nowhere did i say that these are wrong, because that is purely subjective. So no. I didn't shame him or anyone else, since i never claimed he does/believes all these things, i only said that he could possibly believe/do one or more of these things.



Show him this thread, then let him choose whether to dump you or not lol. If my gf made a post like this, passionately trying to defend breaking up with me, I'd 10000% choose to dump her 😂
Original post by Anonymous
Enforcing your belief on someone by borderline psychological torture is hardly 'voicing an opinion'.

OP should respect that people have different opinions on how the country is run. If by the fact that he is a tory is enough to cut the ties, then the bf is avoiding a bullet by dumping her lol.

Later on it'll be other petty things.

I didn't say anything about enforcing beliefs anywhere?

I can respect other people having differing opinions and trying to make them come to pass....but I might find them too offensive to stand with them... and if someone is a committed Tory (esp to this cabinet) that situation is probably going to come up a lot.

You can dispute this, but all you'd be doing is trying to force beliefs on me by dismissing my opinions.
Original post by Catsarepurrfect
Being conservative can have many different forms and you all have no idea what kind of conservative he is. He could be anti-LGBT+ community, he could be racist, or he could just be against state supported health care or pro-life


And yet you know what? There's nothing wrong with any of these views :nah: Beliefs are beliefs.

If it took OP this long just to find out he's likes the blue team rather than the red team, and that's a dealbreaker for her then to be honest man good luck finding someone to get married to, because 1 petty reason is stocked with many a petty reason.
Original post by Anonymous
Show him this thread, then let him choose whether to dump you or not lol. If my gf made a post like this, passionately trying to defend breaking up with me, I'd 10000% choose to dump her 😂

Wtf, i am not the OP, so what the frick are you talking about?

Quick Reply

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Trending

Articles for you