hurt my bf and he hasn't come home yet

wait are you saying this is a gay ting, why didnt the poster address me when they replied, ffs

Yes. I can't speak for the 2nd bit.

(This was my only reason for pointing out the assumption)

we got into an argument because i didn't want one of his friends over (basically he's an idiot, and he always ****ing harasses me when he's drunk). anyway, the argument turned nasty. i just remember saying so many disgusting, cruel things to him. stuff i knew would make him feel worthless and humiliated. stuff that would hurt his feelings. it was bad, trust me. ****ing vile. i even mocked his dead family member. idk how my brain even comes up with gross stuff like that. now that i've calmed down, i find my comments shocking.

he hardly said anything during my rant but at one point he snapped and grabbed me by the neck which startled me due to some past experiences. so i think i hit him. idk but he left and he hasn't come back yet and i'm so worried about
i don't even know how to apologise for my words, i'm so ashamed of myself

All the threads you make about your relationship just sounds like you have the ‘ I’m the victim ’ complex.
I don’t get why you needed to bring up his dead family member, that’s really low and I’m sure you’d be hurt if it was the other way around. However he shouldn’t of grabbed you and just left.

Also, what’s the point of making countless threads and not listen to the advice of what people tell you. Your relationship is not healthy and the best thing for you both is to end it. Constantly abusing each other whether it’s verbally or physically is not how a relationship is suppose to be, it sounds as if your just leeching onto one and other because you don’t want to be alone.

You're perfectly sane but you just can't can't can't.

You're appraisal is deluded imo. No other word does justice. I doubt you'll see it the same way, but it appears your relationship with TSR as a whole follows abuse patterns. One day airing all the bloodied laundry to the listener how bad things are, the next gaslighting and snapping that they heard nothing and they've made it all up, everythings great, all couples choke, none of you understand...and then come back 10 or so days later again. You do kind of come across as a helpless victim, all your defences appear based around aggravating situations and inviting repeats.

I'm not trying to be hurtful, but that's what I see, the sassyness doesn't hide much

wait are you saying this is a gay ting, why didnt the poster address me when they replied, ffs

I've noticed most of your issues with your bf seem to revolve around alcohol and saying / doing irrational things while drunk.... if you can't break up then try dial down the alcohol for your own sake.

many people seem to think your both at fault but I actually think your only at fault even if he grabbed you ffs u mocked a dead family member like thats MILEEEES over the line I'd rather be slapped then have a dead family member mocked and you said u told him some disgusting things so actually I agree you were at fault

as for what to do let him move at his own pace just make sure he hasn't done anything he'll regret

it's difficult because pubs/clubs are all closed now so you can only drink at home

i know, it was ****ed up

i know, i regret making those comments

i'm too impulsive. next time i'll think twice before posting

because what difference does it make? a relationship is a relationship

we got into an argument because i didn't want one of his friends over (basically he's an idiot, and he always ****ing harasses me when he's drunk). anyway, the argument turned nasty. i just remember saying so many disgusting, cruel things to him. stuff i knew would make him feel worthless and humiliated. stuff that would hurt his feelings. it was bad, trust me. ****ing vile. i even mocked his dead family member. idk how my brain even comes up with gross stuff like that. now that i've calmed down, i find my comments shocking.

he hardly said anything during my rant but at one point he snapped and grabbed me by the neck which startled me due to some past experiences. so i think i hit him. idk but he left and he hasn't come back yet and i'm so worried about
i don't even know how to apologise for my words, i'm so ashamed of myself

Understandable, I don't expect you to cut it off completely, but drink less - buy alternatives like some other beverage or something or the wines with no alcohol or try and buy maybe one unit less per week and gradually decrease. Small steps is fine

breaking up sounds like a good idea but if you don't want just let him cool down and when and if he comes back apologize and tell him that YOU were wrong and that is no excuses for what you did

but also idk how but try to make sure he is okay and maybe not kidnapped or smthn bad happened

yeah but youre not a girl... and i called you a gf...

unfortunately, i know that he just wouldn't agree to that. and it's hard for me not to if i have access to something : /

he's ok.. still pretty mad at me tho

boyfriend, girlfriend, it hardly matters . it's just not relevant in this case

Wait, you're not a girl, yet you have a bf?

As long as he's ok it's fine leave him

yes?

Wait, you're not a girl, yet you have a bf?

we got into an argument because i didn't want one of his friends over (basically he's an idiot, and he always ****ing harasses me when he's drunk). anyway, the argument turned nasty. i just remember saying so many disgusting, cruel things to him. stuff i knew would make him feel worthless and humiliated. stuff that would hurt his feelings. it was bad, trust me. ****ing vile. i even mocked his dead family member. idk how my brain even comes up with gross stuff like that. now that i've calmed down, i find my comments shocking.

he hardly said anything during my rant but at one point he snapped and grabbed me by the neck which startled me due to some past experiences. so i think i hit him. idk but he left and he hasn't come back yet and i'm so worried about
i don't even know how to apologise for my words, i'm so ashamed of myself

Are you 5? A boy can have a boyfriend, just like a girl can have a girlfriend.

yeah, i guess he needs space