Was I right or wrong? (warning, mentions a friends suicidal feelings) Watch

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Luize
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#61
Report 14 years ago
#61
There have been quite a lot of docus on this.
There are a lot of opposing views as well.

I personally think it was partly attention seeking (don't see the negative connotation for that straight away) or a cry for help. If I was really wanting to kill myself I wouldn't tell anyone. If I was having doubts and wanted help, or if I was in a really bad state I would talk to someone. Or make an action which someone would notice and make me talk.
Obviously I know this isn't the same for everyone and it is just down to your judgement if it is serious or a cry for help.

I think you did the right thing. You would have always had the question of what you could have done to help if you didn't and she made a successful attempt.
She may not be in the best of moods with you now but you should just sit it out and stick next to her. She appears to be fragile and so a friend is an important thing for her at the moment, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.
At least this way she can see that there are people around that really care about her. It may take her a while to see this but she will.
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shootingstar
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#62
Report Thread starter 14 years ago
#62
Now all I seem to be getting off her is I'll be fine. We'll talk for a while, then she'll be 'I've got to go'. Then she'll ring back, say 'I'll be fine', I'll say something along the lines of I'll speak to you later, and then she'll say 'will you?'...

Tommy, I've tried getting her reasons, but all I get is 'life is crap'. Until last night, I was getting no reasons whatsoever. But she nearly opened up last night. She said something about its what her dad did. Then apparently, someone told her it was probably her fault her dad killed himself. Add to this people are constantly telling her 'you look like your dad'... she seems to be torn between hating him and missing him.
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frost105
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#63
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#63
(Original post by shootingstar)
Now all I seem to be getting off her is I'll be fine. We'll talk for a while, then she'll be 'I've got to go'. Then she'll ring back, say 'I'll be fine', I'll say something along the lines of I'll speak to you later, and then she'll say 'will you?'...

Tommy, I've tried getting her reasons, but all I get is 'life is crap'. Until last night, I was getting no reasons whatsoever. But she nearly opened up last night. She said something about its what her dad did. Then apparently, someone told her it was probably her fault her dad killed himself. Add to this people are constantly telling her 'you look like your dad'... she seems to be torn between hating him and missing him.
Maybe advice her to see a grief counseller to talk about her feeling stowrds her dads death. She needs to realise that its ok to hate him and miss him at the same time.
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shootingstar
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#64
Report Thread starter 14 years ago
#64
(Original post by frost105)
Maybe advice her to see a grief counseller to talk about her feeling stowrds her dads death. She needs to realise that its ok to hate him and miss him at the same time.
I've tried, but she is completely against the idea of any dorm of counselling at all.
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frost105
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#65
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(Original post by shootingstar)
I've tried, but she is completely against the idea of any dorm of counselling at all.
Personally I think you've done the best you can do. She cant keep manipulating your feelings and she is being selfish. I assume by the last post that her father commited suicide? Point out how she would be effecting others around her if she did the same and that if she hates her father so much why is she determined to make the same mistakes.

If this doesnt work then sit her down and state that unless she considers professional help then you will not be able to continue your friendship as its is not a real friendship considering what she is doing to your feelings.
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eurasianfeline
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#66
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#66
(Original post by shootingstar)
I've tried, but she is completely against the idea of any dorm of counselling at all.
my dear i've emailed you.
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shootingstar
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#67
Report Thread starter 14 years ago
#67
thanks for the advice everyone.

I'll continue trying to talk to her...
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soph2004
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#68
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#68
i used to be like her want to kill myself and i used to tell my friend everytime it happened and he told some same situation as u asked for help but this was to the school nurse and that then ment that i got dragged in every morning and lunch and break and have my wrists and that check and i had to talk to someone and well at the time i ahted it and i dont know now looking back if it helped but i hope it did

i have stopped cuting my wrist wishing to die hating myself and everything like that all because i have found someone that loves me so much and will drop everything and do anything to tlak to me or what ever i want and cos im so happy i have no reason to want to die

tell her that things will change life will get better and she needs to thing of everyone else around her thing what she would miss what everyone else would feel

and i think she needs to go see someone that knows how to help and also

all u can do is to try and work out why she is doing it

if she cant answer that (which i couldnt ) then u need to try and help her find the answer as thats the only way to stop

as soon as you know the course u can do something about it

if you want to talk to me for help or ideas then u may pm me and we could talk on msn or what ever

sophie i hope this helps
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