97% of young women have been sexually harassed in public places

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Lucifer323
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#81
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(Original post by TheMcSame)
I'd wager that if you were attractive to said women, you'd get away with just about anything that'd otherwise be regarded as sexual harassment, not just looking at them.
Pretty much us true.

Sexual harassment comes down to whether a woman likes the man who engages in whether behaviour. Let's say flirting for example.

If a man is ugly or **** ugly then he will be in trouble. It's not allowed to flirt if you are f*** ugly. It is very true.

If you are nice and handsome then it's ok you have a free pass.
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Lucifer323
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#82
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(Original post by imlikeahermit)
So men shouldn’t be able to even approach women in clubs? Glad we sorted that. Might as well call quits on the human race now then.
Depends on whether you are handsome or not!

In the mind of the news generation of women approaches should be made only by handsome men. Otherwise is sexual harassment. Together with everything else such as staring, looking, offering to buy a drink, etc...
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The RAR
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#83
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(Original post by tomclarky)
I think a lot of what girls consider sexual harrassment now is nothing more than "attention from someone I consider unattractive." The kind of interactions that girls are happy to engage in with someone they see as high value. This is a silly and arbitrary metric to judge a persons behaviour.

I wonder if it's the side effect of the Tinder/Instagram generation being so used to being able to advertise themselves far and wide so easily and then neatly segregate all the virtual attention and conversations into only those people they are interested in. It's never been easier to disengage and dehumanise human connection.

In the real world, where men mostly shoulder the burden of rejection, a well-meaning, average looking guy will have to put himself out there and risk asking the question. For todays precious generation though, being approached at a bar, or flirting at work is considered harrassment because you can't left swipe them away with the same ease.
This couldn't be closer to the truth, preach.
Last edited by The RAR; 1 month ago
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Ascend
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(Original post by tomclarky)
I think a lot of what girls consider sexual harrassment now is nothing more than "attention from someone I consider unattractive." The kind of interactions that girls are happy to engage in with someone they see as high value. This is a silly and arbitrary metric to judge a persons behaviour.

I wonder if it's the side effect of the Tinder/Instagram generation being so used to being able to advertise themselves far and wide so easily and then neatly segregate all the virtual attention and conversations into only those people they are interested in. It's never been easier to disengage and dehumanise human connection.

In the real world, where men mostly shoulder the burden of rejection, a well-meaning, average looking guy will have to put himself out there and risk asking the question. For todays precious generation though, being approached at a bar, or flirting at work is considered harrassment because you can't left swipe them away with the same ease.
The unease of unwanted attention, remarks and flirtation from people one finds unattractive predates the Tinder/Instagram generation by quite a lot!

A well-meaning bloke making the first move and asking the question should certainly not be viewed as a harrasser. And I don't think there are many, if any, who consider this harrassment. But it does seem like there's a group of boys and men who feel entitled to getting more than one chance with those who are simply not into them.
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Driving_Mad
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(Original post by Ascend)
The unease of unwanted attention, remarks and flirtation from people one finds unattractive predates the Tinder/Instagram generation by quite a lot!

A well-meaning bloke making the first move and asking the question should certainly not be viewed as a harrasser. And I don't think there are many, if any, who consider this harrassment. But it does seem like there's a group of boys and men who feel entitled to getting more than one chance with those who are simply not into them.
Everything else has already been mentioned, agree with your point here.

If a girl makes it clear they aren't interested yet you continue making inappropriate comments, that's not on. Look at Trent Alexander Arnold's messages with this married woman!

"Stop savin chat" "You suckin ****?"
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SHallowvale
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This thread started with some shocking statistics on sexual harassment. It's funny how it has devolved into a bunch of men patting themselves on the back over what they think women consider sexual harassment to be.
Last edited by SHallowvale; 1 month ago
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Djtoodles
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(Original post by SHallowvale)
This thread started with some shocking statistics on sexual harassment. It's funny how it has devolved into a bunch of men patting themselves on the back over what they think women consider sexual harassment to be.
I don’t think it’s a pat on the back more a mockery of the utter stupidity of what can be considered sexual harassment these days. As I’ve said on the first page I have as a man been "sexually harassed" by women more times than I care to think about if the stupid stuff on that list is what constitutes sexual harassment these days. I also think a lot of what is said about attractiveness is true. The hotter you are the higher the bar is for sexual harassment; I’ve seen something eerily similar to this first hand in my college days.
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Ascend
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(Original post by Djtoodles)
I also think a lot of what is said about attractiveness is true. The hotter you are the higher the bar is for sexual harassment; I’ve seen something eerily similar to this first hand in my college days.
Or, in other words, you'd welcome advances from a person you're attracted to but not from someone you're not. Why is this being framed here as somehow problematic?
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SHallowvale
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(Original post by Djtoodles)
I don’t think it’s a pat on the back more a mockery of the utter stupidity of what can be considered sexual harassment these days. As I’ve said on the first page I have as a man been "sexually harassed" by women more times than I care to think about if the stupid stuff on that list is what constitutes sexual harassment these days. I also think a lot of what is said about attractiveness is true. The hotter you are the higher the bar is for sexual harassment; I’ve seen something eerily similar to this first hand in my college days.
What stupid stuff on the list?
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TheMcSame
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(Original post by SHallowvale)
What stupid stuff on the list?
Did you miss the part where we were mocking the idea that looking at someone is sexual harassment? You know... That thing in the graph of the yougov data... That thing that is genuinely touted as sexual harassment in the real world, as I can tell you from first-hand experience from a company-wide brief that was issued to over 1500 locations within our company alone...
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SHallowvale
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(Original post by TheMcSame)
Did you miss the part where we were mocking the idea that looking at someone is sexual harassment? You know... That thing in the graph of the yougov data... That thing that is genuinely touted as sexual harassment in the real world, as I can tell you from first-hand experience from a company-wide brief that was issued to over 1500 locations within our company alone...
Are you referring to the graph posted on the first page? If so, then it doesn't say "being looked at", rather "being stared at" which is different.

Did your company tell employees to never look at each other?
Last edited by SHallowvale; 1 month ago
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TheMcSame
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(Original post by SHallowvale)
Are you referring to the graph posted on the first page? If so, then it doesn't say "being looked at", rather "being stared at" which is different.

Did your company tell employees to never look at each other?
Staring is looking at someone, no? I mean, I do get what you're saying, staring is a specific type of looking, but it is ultimately still just looking at someone. If I slipped over on some ice and everyone stared at me, as people do when someone falls over, are you suggesting I can then pursue charges for sexual harassment on every single person there? Because that's essentially what is being said when people say staring at someone is sexual harassment.

As far as the brief that was sent out was concerned? Obviously, it didn't say never. But it basically boiled down to saying that looking at someone can be considered sexual harassment because it was so horribly vague, probably because such a claim has literally zero legs to stand on. There wasn't a single person in the workplace that didn't joke about how ridiculous such a claim was. If anything, the women actually joked about it more than the men.

You can not sexually harass someone by looking at them. Is it weird and creepy when some stranger is staring at you? Sure. Is it sexual harassment? Not a chance. It's like saying petty theft and molesting a child are the same, despite the fact that they're clearly not the same at all.

Of course, I should point out I'm talking about staring in general. I think it goes without saying that if you're stood there gawking at a woman's breasts, it's sexual harassment. However, neither the yougov poll, nor the brief I had to sit through made that distinction and instead opted for vague statements and it's that part that we're making fun of; the fact that statements like that are suggesting any form of looking/staring can be sexual harassment, rather than specifics like gawking at someone's breasts or up their skirt.
Last edited by TheMcSame; 1 month ago
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Lucifer323
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#93
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(Original post by SHallowvale)
This thread started with some shocking statistics on sexual harassment. It's funny how it has devolved into a bunch of men patting themselves on the back over what they think women consider sexual harassment to be.
Which is indeed the case!

As sexual harassment is defined and redefined continuously in the media and in the social platforms such as instagram & Facebook to suit the conversations and ideas of what young women consider sexual harassment is regardless of the law.

The most intriguing aspect of this story is they sexual harassment depends almost entirely on whether the female is attracted to the male who is not even advancing towards her but had the wrong idea of looking or staring, or initiate a conversation or even making the mistake of... flirting...
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Lucifer323
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#94
(Original post by TheMcSame)
Staring is looking at someone, no? I mean, I do get what you're saying, staring is a specific type of looking, but it is ultimately still just looking at someone. If I slipped over on some ice and everyone stared at me, as people do when someone falls over, are you suggesting I can then pursue charges for sexual harassment on every single person there? Because that's essentially what is being said when people say staring at someone is sexual harassment.

As far as the brief that was sent out was concerned? Obviously, it didn't say never. But it basically boiled down to saying that looking at someone can be considered sexual harassment because it was so horribly vague, probably because such a claim has literally zero legs to stand on. There wasn't a single person in the workplace that didn't joke about how ridiculous such a claim was. If anything, the women actually joked about it more than the men.

You can not sexually harass someone by looking at them. Is it weird and creepy when some stranger is staring at you? Sure. Is it sexual harassment? Not a chance. It's like saying petty theft and molesting a child are the same, despite the fact that they're clearly not the same at all.

Of course, I should point out I'm talking about staring in general. I think it goes without saying that if you're stood there gawking at a woman's breasts, it's sexual harassment. However, neither the yougov poll, nor the brief I had to sit through made that distinction and instead opted for vague statements and it's that part that we're making fun of; the fact that statements like that are suggesting any form of looking/staring can be sexual harassment, rather than specifics like gawking at someone's breasts or up their skirt.
Even if you look at some random woman's breasts if they are deliberately exposed to the public is by no means sexual harassment. If you make contact with them then that's another issue.

Most on that list of not all will never qualify to be part of what we call sexual harassment. It seems the media and the social platforms such as Instagram & Facebook are trying to define and redefine the terms through its users i.e young idiotic women who never have read the definition or what the law says.

If the list was true then everyone would be breaking the law or has broken the law by now...
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Lucifer323
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(Original post by Azagthoa)
I'm glad you both see my point, that is progress. Yes I'm saying it shouldn't be allowed. I'll tell you, every time a woman is approached at a bar it is more than annoyance that she feels, but fear. If I reject this person, will he be violent? Will he attack me? This is what goes through our heads every time this happens. Why should we have to feel terror several times a night when we just want to see our friends? Please bear this in mind. Thank you.
This is what you think when you go to a bar or let's say a nightclub? From what you said I understand you are woman..

I don't think this is really true in most cases and for most women who go out. Although at some point it could be true but depending on circumstances.
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Lucifer323
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(Original post by Final Fantasy)
As a general rule of thumb: if you’re good looking and look at a woman, it’s acceptable. If you’re not good looking then it’s creepy and could be classed as sexual harassment.
More or less that is the case!
As someone said above most men (who are average looking) would be risking accused of sexual harassment if the law was different and the definition was expanded as much as it is expanded in the social media. In some cases they are actually accused regardless of whether this doesn't stand as a genuine accusation.
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username5252758
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(Original post by SHallowvale)
This thread started with some shocking statistics on sexual harassment. It's funny how it has devolved into a bunch of men patting themselves on the back over what they think women consider sexual harassment to be.
Sadly it is no surprise.
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Final Fantasy
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(Original post by tomclarky)
I think a lot of what girls consider sexual harrassment now is nothing more than "attention from someone I consider unattractive." The kind of interactions that girls are happy to engage in with someone they see as high value. This is a silly and arbitrary metric to judge a persons behaviour.

I wonder if it's the side effect of the Tinder/Instagram generation being so used to being able to advertise themselves far and wide so easily and then neatly segregate all the virtual attention and conversations into only those people they are interested in. It's never been easier to disengage and dehumanise human connection.

In the real world, where men mostly shoulder the burden of rejection, a well-meaning, average looking guy will have to put himself out there and risk asking the question. For todays precious generation though, being approached at a bar, or flirting at work is considered harrassment because you can't left swipe them away with the same ease.
Agreed. This is something I’ve thought about but couldn’t quite explain to others - so thanks.
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username5252758
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To see so many men try to flip this and cast themselves as victims is just comical.

I'll put it bluntly, if your experience of women involves getting accused of sexual harassment .... that is not because you aren't very good looking, it is because your creepy behaviour is freaking women out.

If you ever want to do anything about being single you are going to have to change that.
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SHallowvale
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(Original post by TheMcSame)
Staring is looking at someone, no? I mean, I do get what you're saying, staring is a specific type of looking, but it is ultimately still just looking at someone. If I slipped over on some ice and everyone stared at me, as people do when someone falls over, are you suggesting I can then pursue charges for sexual harassment on every single person there? Because that's essentially what is being said when people say staring at someone is sexual harassment.

As far as the brief that was sent out was concerned? Obviously, it didn't say never. But it basically boiled down to saying that looking at someone can be considered sexual harassment because it was so horribly vague, probably because such a claim has literally zero legs to stand on. There wasn't a single person in the workplace that didn't joke about how ridiculous such a claim was. If anything, the women actually joked about it more than the men.

You can not sexually harass someone by looking at them. Is it weird and creepy when some stranger is staring at you? Sure. Is it sexual harassment? Not a chance. It's like saying petty theft and molesting a child are the same, despite the fact that they're clearly not the same at all.

Of course, I should point out I'm talking about staring in general. I think it goes without saying that if you're stood there gawking at a woman's breasts, it's sexual harassment. However, neither the yougov poll, nor the brief I had to sit through made that distinction and instead opted for vague statements and it's that part that we're making fun of; the fact that statements like that are suggesting any form of looking/staring can be sexual harassment, rather than specifics like gawking at someone's breasts or up their skirt.
Staring at someone isn't "ultimately just looking at someone" for the same reason that being followed isn't 'ultimately just being around someone else'. It implies something deliberate and for most people it is not a comfortable experience.

Being stared at for slipping on ice would be different, since people do it as a reaction to something that has happened and any staring typically won't last for very long.

It's nice that you've pointed out how women in your company made fun of the brief more than men did. If the women in your company are anything to go by then women don't consider 'just being looked at' to be harassment, so all the talk seen in this thread on what women apparently think counts as harassment has been total nonsense.
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