Is my dad being scammed... again?

I want to preface this by saying that i value my fathers privacy immensely. He is 65, single and lonely. I get it, i really do. My issue is not harmless talking on the internet, it is that he is vunerable and extremely so. The internet is a weird place, and he has managed to be scammed before over bitcoin, insurance scams, weightloss tablets and also females on the internet. In particular one lady he told me about, i had no issues with him speaking to until i walked in on him sending a gift card number to this woman. Her reasoning for this was "i wanted something to help me with menstrual pain" it didnt make the slightest bit of sense because it was a STEAM gift card and as far as i know thats for online gaming. So me and my older brother sat him down and educated him about online, dangers of the internet and people who prey on the innocent and vunerable for financial gains. Well. Now theres a new one from Ghana, known eachother maybe 2 weeks judging by the time he has had her on his facebook, and i feel as though the same is happening again. I accidentally stumbled across in paperwork a PO box address scribbled on a piece of paper and addressed to the "lady in question" and hidden in my old bedroom (i have moved out i was collecting some things from said room) a big cardboard box taped and ready to go.
I do want to stress that i value everybodies privacy, but i am over protective of my dad especially seeing how vunerable he is in the past to these scams. Just trying to come up with a way to approach this issue and make sure that he is being wise and safe, the red flags are beaming in my face and his personality has completely changed. He is very distant to me recently and we usually have a close bond, which was my first red flag to the situation because he acted shifty and cold and you could see the stress of being secretive all over his face.
What i think im saying is do i mind my own damn buisness and let him carry on and see him lose his money in an instant, do i confront the issue at hand and how to get it through to him? Or do i keep a silent but watchful eye out? Thank you and sorry its so long.

Reply 1

MatthewAteYou

First of all, it really does seem you're taking a mature approach to this. I can't imagine how difficult this must be.

If I were you (and again, I don't know your bond or dynamics) I'd try and address the issue. You have a few options, many banks offer some sort of education especially around scams and online-based scams. Depending on the branch and people, this could go from super-helpful to pointless - but it's one avenue. I wouldn't necessarily recommend this as a first port of call, though.

I'd try looking around online for charities who support people around these issues. Watchdog type organisations or Citizens Advice Bureau type ones. All this does is a) try and shift it away from you and b) provide some expertise in people who have dealt with this stuff before. One step for escalation is the police, however, that's on you and depends on the situation.

If you feel like you can do it on your own, maybe try talking to him. Remind him that you are doing this because you care. As much as it's hard on you, I can imagine it may be embarrassing for him.

Also, you mention he's lonely. I know now with the pandemic it is hard, but maybe look into charities who support 'older people', not that he's very old, but support people who are lonely. It may mean he won't get into these situations in the future.

Is my dad being scammed... again?

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