English language GCSE creative writing

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username5152584
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Last edited by username5152584; 5 months ago
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Down_worlder
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It’s mostly a matter of SPAG, I think. In the first sentence, you should use commas (colons are for use before a list). Second sentence sounds very sophisticated. Gusts is plural, so it should be ‘they imploded everything in their...’. The dash of ‘in the distance—‘ and the semi colon in the next sentence also make more sense as commas (I recommend revision uses of this punctuation. As a quick way to check if a sentence makes sense, the bits on either side of a ; or — should be able to work as separate sentences). I think these same mistakes are also carried forth throughout the rest, you should check these.
But yeah, I like what you’ve tried to do with the varied punctuation, and vocabulary + literary devises like metaphors and similes are very good. Kudos for the range of sentence lengths too, and good luck for your exam tomorrow. You’ll do great!
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