Was my breakup my fault?

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Anonymous #1
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My ex ended things with me a couple months ago. I still cant shake the feeling that everything is my fault after he painted me as a cold and heartless being, i am told by him that i was taking advantage of his love.

We dated for almost two years and this is not the first time he broke up with me. I do take responsibility for all my mistakes, overreacting and for my behaviour on some of my bad days. Although, most of the arguments i had started were based around his lack of communication, commitment and loyalty.

I would become angry about him commenting on my butt being flat, once saying my boobs were saggy, talking about the strip club constantly and being very distant. What i mean by him being distant is, he worked as a flagger in which i tried my best to be flexible with his busy schedule. He would cancel on me at the last minute, only see me twice a week maybe three times if i was lucky. it got so bad that i stopped believing him when he told me he was working overtime (14 hrs) including saturdays. Even when he seen me on the weekend we couldnt hangout pass 7pm due to his so called sleep routine in which i tried my best to understand and grow patient with. Not only that, i tolerated his innapropiate behaviour towards other woman, him indirectly asking me if i would ever have a threesome and joking that he would have one with me and my sister and hearing from his little cousin that he had someone else on the side.

He broke up with me last january because I was told i couldnt be alone and we needed to find other people , after i got upset about him canceling plans alot, and not being able to prioritize the relationship more. 24 hours after breaking up, he came back begging for me to forgive him. I couldnt handle seeing him hurt and loved him too much to let go, he was not only a partner but my best friend so i toke him back.

Months after us being back together, covid happened in april. we were in a two week lockdown. even when restrictions were lifted, he still refused to see me. I rarely heard from him nor seen him. it was generally a good morning text then one call at night for 30mins. I felt as if i was no longer a priority but i tried my best to believe that this is due to his busy work schedule and covid restrictions.

By the summer he said we could hangout again, we would sit down and have game nights, camping, trail walks. Although, i noticed bad behaviour such as , one day we stopped to get snacks at a gas station for a movie. As we are walking into the store, a bunch of girls pull up in bikinis, i noticed he walked far from me and stood in the line up as if he didnt know me. I went to lean on him but he pulled away and on our anniversrary we went to the beach, again a bunch of girls were twerking on each other ,partying. I noticed that he was staring at them.

Things that did not sit right with me started to pile up. I borrowed his phone one time to take a snapchat of the sunset on one of our hikes to only see two girls on his list that ive never seen before. He said they are old contacts from tinder in 2018-2019ish and he forgot to delete them, i calmly believed him but something told me that its been a year and he should have the common sense to delete them by now. Not only that but his friend found a condom in his old car when they were hanging out. I couldnt handle the drama nor stress but i loved him so much that i tried my best to tolerate it all and forgive him seeing that there could be innocent reasons to these actions/ clues.

Although, i became questioning him almost every night. I felt terrible but my gut told me he was cheating and lieing to me. The last straw happened when we again went from november to december without seeing each other due to covid restrictions that he inforced. on christmas we planned to sneak out and have car sex. When i asked him to bring the 10 pack of condoms we bought on halloween, he quickly said he acciddently threw them out when cleaning his room....., i thought that was a bit weird but again i let it go. on christmas eve i reminded him about how excited i was to sneak out to only hear him tell me that he no longer wants to have sex with me in the car and just wants to hangout. i felt super rejected seeing that we havent seen each other for two months and he should feel the same as i did. Something was up..., i noticed a change in his style, hygiene, interests and he seemed super fixsated on his looks all of a sudden.

We made plans to hangout one weekend but he insisted that we only can go to parks, avoid all bars / date attractions such as bowling etc. and stay discreet. he stated that we do this for the sake of the covid rules.

things ended the day after..., i told him i felt that he was not interested in me and i was looking for reassurance that he loves me. Apparenlty that is break up material.... I found his dating profile not even a day after breaking up.. with a picture of us apart of his profile.

I feel super hearbroken and betrayed. im sorry that this is a super long post but i am looking for all advice.., i feel like i lost my best friend.. i dont know if i can get over it. there was a few positives and he did still do some nice things for me but i feel as if i mightve overreacted and caused half the arguments... thank you for reading and if you comment.
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Wannabevetnurse
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(Original post by Anonymous)
My ex ended things with me a couple months ago. I still cant shake the feeling that everything is my fault after he painted me as a cold and heartless being, i am told by him that i was taking advantage of his love.

We dated for almost two years and this is not the first time he broke up with me. I do take responsibility for all my mistakes, overreacting and for my behaviour on some of my bad days. Although, most of the arguments i had started were based around his lack of communication, commitment and loyalty.

I would become angry about him commenting on my butt being flat, once saying my boobs were saggy, talking about the strip club constantly and being very distant. What i mean by him being distant is, he worked as a flagger in which i tried my best to be flexible with his busy schedule. He would cancel on me at the last minute, only see me twice a week maybe three times if i was lucky. it got so bad that i stopped believing him when he told me he was working overtime (14 hrs) including saturdays. Even when he seen me on the weekend we couldnt hangout pass 7pm due to his so called sleep routine in which i tried my best to understand and grow patient with. Not only that, i tolerated his innapropiate behaviour towards other woman, him indirectly asking me if i would ever have a threesome and joking that he would have one with me and my sister and hearing from his little cousin that he had someone else on the side.

He broke up with me last january because I was told i couldnt be alone and we needed to find other people , after i got upset about him canceling plans alot, and not being able to prioritize the relationship more. 24 hours after breaking up, he came back begging for me to forgive him. I couldnt handle seeing him hurt and loved him too much to let go, he was not only a partner but my best friend so i toke him back.

Months after us being back together, covid happened in april. we were in a two week lockdown. even when restrictions were lifted, he still refused to see me. I rarely heard from him nor seen him. it was generally a good morning text then one call at night for 30mins. I felt as if i was no longer a priority but i tried my best to believe that this is due to his busy work schedule and covid restrictions.

By the summer he said we could hangout again, we would sit down and have game nights, camping, trail walks. Although, i noticed bad behaviour such as , one day we stopped to get snacks at a gas station for a movie. As we are walking into the store, a bunch of girls pull up in bikinis, i noticed he walked far from me and stood in the line up as if he didnt know me. I went to lean on him but he pulled away and on our anniversrary we went to the beach, again a bunch of girls were twerking on each other ,partying. I noticed that he was staring at them.

Things that did not sit right with me started to pile up. I borrowed his phone one time to take a snapchat of the sunset on one of our hikes to only see two girls on his list that ive never seen before. He said they are old contacts from tinder in 2018-2019ish and he forgot to delete them, i calmly believed him but something told me that its been a year and he should have the common sense to delete them by now. Not only that but his friend found a condom in his old car when they were hanging out. I couldnt handle the drama nor stress but i loved him so much that i tried my best to tolerate it all and forgive him seeing that there could be innocent reasons to these actions/ clues.

Although, i became questioning him almost every night. I felt terrible but my gut told me he was cheating and lieing to me. The last straw happened when we again went from november to december without seeing each other due to covid restrictions that he inforced. on christmas we planned to sneak out and have car sex. When i asked him to bring the 10 pack of condoms we bought on halloween, he quickly said he acciddently threw them out when cleaning his room....., i thought that was a bit weird but again i let it go. on christmas eve i reminded him about how excited i was to sneak out to only hear him tell me that he no longer wants to have sex with me in the car and just wants to hangout. i felt super rejected seeing that we havent seen each other for two months and he should feel the same as i did. Something was up..., i noticed a change in his style, hygiene, interests and he seemed super fixsated on his looks all of a sudden.

We made plans to hangout one weekend but he insisted that we only can go to parks, avoid all bars / date attractions such as bowling etc. and stay discreet. he stated that we do this for the sake of the covid rules.

things ended the day after..., i told him i felt that he was not interested in me and i was looking for reassurance that he loves me. Apparenlty that is break up material.... I found his dating profile not even a day after breaking up.. with a picture of us apart of his profile.

I feel super hearbroken and betrayed. im sorry that this is a super long post but i am looking for all advice.., i feel like i lost my best friend.. i dont know if i can get over it. there was a few positives and he did still do some nice things for me but i feel as if i mightve overreacted and caused half the arguments... thank you for reading and if you comment.
IT's not your fault.

From what I skimmed, sounds like he was a cheating scumbag, but the fact that you've been together for 2 years, with break ups inbetween, you should've left his ass ages ago.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Wannabevetnurse)
IT's not your fault.

From what I skimmed, sounds like he was a cheating scumbag, but the fact that you've been together for 2 years, with break ups inbetween, you should've left his ass ages ago.
Lol thank you for your comment!, i dont know why i kept thinking he was not cheating but now that it is over and i hear advice like yours, it really helps me see the reality of everything. Thank you !!!!
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Dunnig Kruger
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The only fault that you could apportion to yourself is that you stayed so long with this Aldridge Prior Hopeless Liar.

If you ever find yourself with another Walter Mitty, leave him sooner rather than later.

If you find yourself with someone having a go at your boobs or butt, kick him into touch.

Avoid men who see women as sexual toys and trophies.

Go find yourself a man with a decent amount of integrity. All men and women lie. But there's a huge variation in the nature of the situations that they will lie in. And in the sort of situations that they get themselves into in the first place.
Also aim for a man that remains generally positive about you and that treats you as an equal human being. IE with respect for the inner you.
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Wannabevetnurse
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Lol thank you for your comment!, i dont know why i kept thinking he was not cheating but now that it is over and i hear advice like yours, it really helps me see the reality of everything. Thank you !!!!
Your welcome

Trust me, you did nothing wrong. He was playing you, and he lost you. He's gonna start crying when he realises what he lost.

If you need anything else, just PM me :hugs:
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twinlensreflex
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He sounds like garbage honestly.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
The only fault that you could apportion to yourself is that you stayed so long with this Aldridge Prior Hopeless Liar.

If you ever find yourself with another Walter Mitty, leave him sooner rather than later.

If you find yourself with someone having a go at your boobs or butt, kick him into touch.

Avoid men who see women as sexual toys and trophies.

Go find yourself a man with a decent amount of integrity. All men and women lie. But there's a huge variation in the nature of the situations that they will lie in. And in the sort of situations that they get themselves into in the first place.
Also aim for a man that remains generally positive about you and that treats you as an equal human being. IE with respect for the inner you.
Thank you for your reply!, Yes! i totally agree with you .i used to believe him when he told me his comments about my body were "jokes" and so called roasts. but now looking at it , it really is degrading .
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Wannabevetnurse)
Your welcome

Trust me, you did nothing wrong. He was playing you, and he lost you. He's gonna start crying when he realises what he lost.

If you need anything else, just PM me :hugs:
omg thank you so much, youre awesome. i wonder why i ignored all the red flags,
I will reread your comment if i start to overthink and miss him lol .
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Wannabevetnurse
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(Original post by Anonymous)
omg thank you so much, youre awesome. i wonder why i ignored all the red flags,
I will reread your comment if i start to overthink and miss him lol .
You tend to think your partner is perfect when you're in love.

Ahahahah your welcome
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Adz2042
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That's a mega post, so I've tried to answer from a guy's perspective on this. Below are some snippets from your paragraphs, and my understanding beneath them. These are my opinions and what I've understood from your post, and do not represent all men in the world.

'He would cancel on me at the last minute, only see me twice a week maybe three times if i was lucky. it got so bad that i stopped believing him when he told me he was working overtime (14 hrs) including saturdays.'
That's bad that he would cancel last minute. Should have had a break here ^. Did you ever consider calling his work and checking if he was working overtime, if you had doubts?

'him indirectly asking me if i would ever have a threesome and joking that he would have one with me and my sister and hearing from his little cousin that he had someone else on the side.'
Guys do this to girls. We flirt and tease about the 'what if' / parallel universe' and joking. That's guy humour.
Sounds like this cousin of his doesn't like you, and said that to put doubts in your head.

Months after us being back together, covid happened in april. we were in a two week lockdown. even when restrictions were lifted, he still refused to see me. I rarely heard from him nor seen him. it was generally a good morning text then one call at night for 30mins.'
Covid happened in December 2019, but only started taking off around January 2020 in the UK. [Source: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-51325192] The lockdown started in late March, and the first one ended around June [Source: https://www.gov.uk/government/news/p...s-23-june-2020], so whilst we thought the original lockdown would be a few weeks, turned to a few months.
Bad of him not to see you though when things did ease up.

'again a bunch of girls were twerking on each other ,partying. I noticed that he was staring at them.'
Whilst bad that he stared at them whilst with you, guys generally do this without realising. Same logic as girls who check out surfer guys on a beach, or watch Love Island (whilst a programme, the concept is the same) just to check out the guys.

'I borrowed his phone one time to take a snapchat of the sunset on one of our hikes to only see two girls on his list that ive never seen before.' -
We all have friends that we hardly speak to, and forget about. My snapchat is full of people that I used to speak to, but I'm not the type of person to just remove them, so they stay in my friends list.

'Not only that but his friend found a condom in his old car when they were hanging out.'.
That's a bit strange. If it was sealed, maybe he was looking forward to when you two had sex in the car, it would be a surprise?
Maybe he didn't place it in his car, someone else did as a prank?

'The last straw happened when we again went from november to december without seeing each other due to covid restrictions that he inforced.' -
Government enforced a national lockdown in November. Not him. Cases surged (because of students going back to uni in Sept / October).

'We made plans to hangout one weekend but he insisted that we only can go to parks, avoid all bars / date attractions such as bowling etc. and stay discreet. he stated that we do this for the sake of the covid rules.'
I can see why he said this, because many of these visitor attractions / hospitality venues would have been closed or are seen as hotspots for the virus. So he was taking steps to keep you safe. Remember that many people can't even see their parents or friends, so the times you were able to hang out should have been seen as a luxury, even though you couldn't do much.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Adz2042)
That's a mega post, so I've tried to answer from a guy's perspective on this. Below are some snippets from your paragraphs, and my understanding beneath them. These are my opinions and what I've understood from your post, and do not represent all men in the world.

'He would cancel on me at the last minute, only see me twice a week maybe three times if i was lucky. it got so bad that i stopped believing him when he told me he was working overtime (14 hrs) including saturdays.'
That's bad that he would cancel last minute. Should have had a break here ^. Did you ever consider calling his work and checking if he was working overtime, if you had doubts?

'him indirectly asking me if i would ever have a threesome and joking that he would have one with me and my sister and hearing from his little cousin that he had someone else on the side.'
Guys do this to girls. We flirt and tease about the 'what if' / parallel universe' and joking. That's guy humour.
Sounds like this cousin of his doesn't like you, and said that to put doubts in your head.

Months after us being back together, covid happened in april. we were in a two week lockdown. even when restrictions were lifted, he still refused to see me. I rarely heard from him nor seen him. it was generally a good morning text then one call at night for 30mins.'
Covid happened in December 2019, but only started taking off around January 2020 in the UK. [Source: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-51325192] The lockdown started in late March, and the first one ended around June [Source: https://www.gov.uk/government/news/p...s-23-june-2020], so whilst we thought the original lockdown would be a few weeks, turned to a few months.
Bad of him not to see you though when things did ease up.

'again a bunch of girls were twerking on each other ,partying. I noticed that he was staring at them.'
Whilst bad that he stared at them whilst with you, guys generally do this without realising. Same logic as girls who check out surfer guys on a beach, or watch Love Island (whilst a programme, the concept is the same) just to check out the guys.

'I borrowed his phone one time to take a snapchat of the sunset on one of our hikes to only see two girls on his list that ive never seen before.' -
We all have friends that we hardly speak to, and forget about. My snapchat is full of people that I used to speak to, but I'm not the type of person to just remove them, so they stay in my friends list.

'Not only that but his friend found a condom in his old car when they were hanging out.'.
That's a bit strange. If it was sealed, maybe he was looking forward to when you two had sex in the car, it would be a surprise?
Maybe he didn't place it in his car, someone else did as a prank?

'The last straw happened when we again went from november to december without seeing each other due to covid restrictions that he inforced.' -
Government enforced a national lockdown in November. Not him. Cases surged (because of students going back to uni in Sept / October).

'We made plans to hangout one weekend but he insisted that we only can go to parks, avoid all bars / date attractions such as bowling etc. and stay discreet. he stated that we do this for the sake of the covid rules.'
I can see why he said this, because many of these visitor attractions / hospitality venues would have been closed or are seen as hotspots for the virus. So he was taking steps to keep you safe. Remember that many people can't even see their parents or friends, so the times you were able to hang out should have been seen as a luxury, even though you couldn't do much.
Hello!,

thank you for taking the time to comment on my post,
You put so much effort into your paragraphs and i really appreciate your opinon!,
this really helps me move on and learn more.

Very kind of you to take the time as someone who does not know me, to take the time to give your advice !.
Thank you again.

I agree with you on forgetting friends in your contact list. seeing that i have as well.
Although, I have seen his snapchat before this and there was no girls on his list until that day i looked. This is why I asked despite myself never being an uptight nor controlling person. A couple more popped up in the future, I did not ask because i like to give people the benefit of the doubt and I dont like to assume.

He did breakup with me once before, after the incedent of him rarely seeing me and claiming to work long hours ,everyday. I was flexible with his schedule and respected the boundaries until concerns raised when again he rarely came around and claimed to be busy all the time. I like to make it clear that communication is healthy in relationships and I encouraged him to speak to me if he had any doubts. Therefore I did aswell.

One night I asked him to hangout with me , my family at 6pm on a (Saturday), seeing that i did not see him all week and i thought since its the weekend he would be able to come over and he would possibly want to see me over this course of distance. Although, he denied saying he doesnt want to hangout pass 7pm which was a common theme. This is where I communicated my doubt/concern to him, I expressed how upset it made me that he did not come around alot. He became aggitated with my request and ignored me for the whole night until he broke up with me in the morning , claiming that we need to find other people. Not even 24 hrs after, he came back asking for forgivness which i was happy about but confused of why.

I completely agree with covid rules and restrictions. We were in lockdown for 2 weeks in march then till april when he said rules extended. He radically said one day we could see each other again, he toke me out to an empty parking lot and tried to have sex with me..after he got what he wanted.. we went home and only then he said we are back to lockdown... I asked is that the only reason why he came out to see me.., this made him mad and he said "is that who you think i am". We seen each other during the summer break, after i told him restrictions lifted until in november we went back. In the course of fall and winter, his behaviour was odd and distant., this is also the time when i found a womans cardigan in his suite that his sister nor mother said was theirs and found the condom in his old car. This is the time where, i rarely heard from him.. and i found myself asking him to call me more/stop by for a social distancing "hello".

I agree with the men looking at other woman because the same applies for women looking at men. Its natural , we all do it. However, I dont agree if he does it infront of me or with me. He also had a behaviour pattern of not only staring at other girls with me but commenting about them and distancing himself from me when there was again other women around in public. He argued about how he does not like PDA and considered hand holding...PDA. I never was one to believe it is polite to make out or kiss alot in public but holding hands..i thought was fine. What do you think??

The jokes are what we all do when we tease the ones we like or have an interest in.. I agree. but i forgot to mention, he would joke about how my body looked (butt being flat, boobs being saggy, making fun of the clothes i wore etc.) while talking highly about the strip club. He naturally made fun of my job and how i did not drive at that time. His joke about my sister in a three some was odd and he seemed to have a weird obsession with her.

Before he broke up with me in January, i stopped asking many questions and decided my anxiety, gut instinct was in my head. until we made plans to hangout on a saturday (after i mentioned lockdown ended again). we planned to stay up late therefore i asked how many condoms we had left. He quickly told me that he "threw out" ??, three when deep cleaning his room and no longer wanted to stay out late or have sex with me. I was confused and felt rejected seeing that we havent seen each other in 2 months. i thought he felt the same as i did.

I mentioned how i felt like he was not interested and how i needed some time without sex because i was dealing with the rejection/embaressment i felt. This made him break up with me....

A day after the breakup, i and my mom found his tinder account, with a couple picture of us on the profile....
this proves my suspicions and gut feeling to be true.

Thank you again for being awesome and giving me advice !! much appreciated.
I hope you have a great week
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Adz2042
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Hey there,
Didn't fancy quoting the entire paragraphs, so just going to sum up your points with my answers. I do appreciate the detail back. Paints the picture clearer into what is going on.

'You put so much effort into your paragraphs and i really appreciate your opinion!,'
you're welcome. Glad it helps, even a little bit.

'Although, I have seen his snapchat before this and there was no girls on his list until that day i looked'
Ah fairs. If he's following / adding people that he either knows / doesn't know, and when prompted about it, doesn't explain, then you're right to be a bit cautious.

'He did breakup with me once before' / 'until concerns raised when again he rarely came around and claimed to be busy all the time.'
I get the picture that you like being around people, and feel lonely / insecure if you're not denied that feeling of comfort?
Why did you get back with him after he broke up with you? If he said it out of anger or an argument, then you should have still said 'Hang on, you broke up with me, let's have a week off, calm down and see how we feel'.

'he doesn't want to hangout pass 7pm which was a common theme'
Very strange to not want to hang out past 7pm. Does he live in a rough area or is there a lot of crime nearby, that he doesn't want people over / meetups after this time? Or is it that his parents arrive back from their activities after 7pm and he's afraid of getting caught - he hasn't told his parents that he's in a relationship and he lacks the confidence to tell them?

'Not even 24 hrs after, he came back asking for forgiveness which i was happy about but confused of why.'
People do this all the time. They get pushed so far to the point they break up, then after they've calmed down, realise what they said was wrong, they didn't mean it, etc, and try to get the forgiveness back in the hope the partner is kind enough to see.

'he took me out to an empty parking lot and tried to have sex with me' / 'after he got what he wanted.. we went home and only then he said we are back to lockdown'
The lockdowns in the UK happened between March 23 and June 1st (ish). Second one was November 4 to December 2, then the Third was January 6 to (i'm saying March 8 as that's when kids went back to school).
So you had the whole of summer to meet up, and the whole month of December incl Christmas to see each other.
To only meet up once in that timeframe seems strange, granted you were not advised to travel outside your "local" area.

'this is also the time when i found a woman's cardigan in his suite that his sister nor mother said was theirs and found the condom in his old car.'
Whilst weird that a woman's cardigan was found at his apartment, (& I'm not sticking up for him or anything), but did you maybe think that it could have been a present for someone, and he didn't store it someplace safe, or that it belonged to one of his other female friends?
The condom in his old car - doesn't he have a new car that he drives? why would the contents in the old car matter?
Maybe when he bought them, he wanted to try it himself, and panicked, didn't know what to do with it, and that's why it was in the car? - again, I don't know why anyone would have unsealed condoms in a car. (if they were sealed, then that shouldn't be an issue, maybe a sign that he wants sex in the car at some point?

'However, I dont agree if he does it infront of me or with me' Fair point.

'He argued about how he does not like PDA and considered hand holding...PDA. I never was one to believe it is polite to make out or kiss alot in public but holding hands..i thought was fine. What do you think??'

I'm not a huge fan of personal displays of affection (PDA). It can be quite weird or pressurising to have to kiss in public, to prove to people you don't know that you're in a relationship. Even if you know the rest of the world couldn't care less, you get the impression that these people are judging you.
I would class hand holding as PDA. In Qatar (and other Muslim countries), you're not allowed to hold hands in public, because PDA is banned in public. Fine behind closed doors. [Source: https://www.expatwoman.com/qatar/gui...d%20is%20fine!
In the UK, holding hands is absolutely fine with me, but I tend to walk quite fast, and it's been quite awkward to hold hands with someone when I walk faster than them. (I've tried slowing down to be at their pace, but I find that I lose time the slower I walk).


'he would joke about how my body looked (butt being flat, boobs being saggy, making fun of the clothes i wore etc.) while talking highly about the strip club.'
That's a red flag and one that should have told you 'dump him'.

'He naturally made fun of my job and how i did not drive at that time'.
Is that because you have a higher paid job than him?
Some people prefer not to drive, and take public transport. He should have been understanding about that point.
Whilst driving is ideal (get to destinations faster), it's also an environmental issue with the pollution emitted from the cars.
It depends where you stand on it.

'His joke about my sister in a three some was odd and he seemed to have a weird obsession with her'
Most likely he wasn't joking and thought about it. It's a common theme in the world of porn. Guy gets with girl. Girl has sister. Guy fantasizes about being with both girl and sister. Threesome occurs.
It'll never happen, but to some guys, it has. Maybe relationship therapy on this might help him overcome this obsession?

'He quickly told me that he "threw out" ??, three when deep cleaning his room'
Perfect time to have a clear out of your room. Or he used up the three remaining ones, and threw them away, given that we've all been in a lockdown for months, and he felt he wasn't going to be having sex anytime soon, so why keep them?

'I mentioned how i felt like he was not interested and how i needed some time without sex because i was dealing with the rejection/embarrassment i felt. This made him break up with me....'
Quite a lame reason on his part to break up. Clearly sex was the only thing he wanted. Relationships can survive & get stronger without sex. Sadly he saw sex as a necessity.

'A day after the breakup, i and my mom found his tinder account, with a couple picture of us on the profile....
this proves my suspicions and gut feeling to be true.'
I doubt he had time to even update his pictures on his tinder profile 24hrs after breaking up with you.
On mine (for example), I haven't changed my profile picture since Feb 2020. I rarely check it to be fair, and only do when (and if I'm lucky) that I get a message or a 'match'.

Have a great week too.
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HondaCBR600cc
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Hey!, thank you again for responding.

He did tell me a bit about these girls on his phone, when I looked one girl blocked him and the other unfriended him. I asked seeing that he assured me before that he does not talk to any girls and he keeps to himself. When he showed me his phone , the chat with the one girl was set to delete after reply. he told me they’re tinder contacts from a year ago. after this I stopped asking seeing that I did not think much of it.

I do struggle with wanting to always be around people I love. Although, the distance seemed too much and as if he was not interested. I got back with him seeing that I seen him as a really good guy and I thought again that I was the problem that needed to change. Therefore, I apologized for my need to be reassured and comforted. He became angry that I asked him questions and asking for more of his time, this drove him to Hang up on me , ignore me for the whole night until in the morning he stopped by to breakup. I just seen him as my best friend and lover, I felt horrible for my behaviour and became better at accepting the distance.

He lived up the road from my street, we live in a very residential area that is populated with lots of families and peaceful people. Nothing to be scared of. His parents/family know me very well, his parents were always home and did not mind me sleeping over or hanging out. If it was a weekend , he would still turn me down to go on a date or hangout pass 7. We would normally be out from 12-6:30 and slept over only twice when we either had drinks and couldn’t drive.

He told me we were going to go for a nature walk at one of our provincial parks, I was unaware of him wanting to. He wouldn’t stop trying until I said yes. This was in April after restrictions lifted. We seen each other from June-September but by Late October -December he insisted we could not see each other. He would in his words “sneak out” to come see me.

He said his mom brought it downstairs thinking it’s mine, his sister said it was not hers when I asked, from what he told me, he does not have friends that are girls and this was around the time he was very distant / claiming he was too busy to hangout.

I agree with you completely on PDA. He walked quite far in front of me half the time, so I assumed he is a fast walker like you state. He would hold me in front of a line up of men or hold my hand on trail walks. He would be very invasive at parks with a few people around. But when we were in open public like at a grocery store /liquor store or an area with lots of women . He got very distant.

I agree with you, I just blew the insults by as teasing.

At the time I worked as a cashier at a clothing store, with my Learners permit. He made fun of my pay check and assumed I was only with him for the money/ “free rides”. I was very offended.

At the beginning of our relationship I had to turn him down a few times seeing that he would try to sleep with me, only 2 weeks or a month in. I have a feeling he might’ve only wanted a hook up, seeing that before when he got what he wanted. I seen him almost everyday/ he was very involved and interested.

Thank you again for this awesome advice, you made my day!.
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HondaCBR600cc
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Are you saying he might’ve had his account up before the breakup?, I also noticed it did not state that he was a new profile.

I feel horrible for this all happening, I sadly still really love him and care about him. I do miss a lot of his personality. I’m just living with guilt of constantly being on edge about him cheating after the first breakup. My family suspects that these actions of his and the things we found. Made me react this anxious??
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