think boyfriend has lost interest

Original post by Anonymous

me (19F) and my boyfriend (18M) have been together 3 years now, we went through a phase when all we doing was arguing but that’s all fine now. However last night i saw he deleted our photos on his instagram, i asked him why and he just said cause they are old (2019). He went to work today and every now and then i like to check his snap maps to know where he is, i worry something may happen. i asked him why he turned it off and he completely went off on me saying i’m always on his case and to leave him alone. i did tell him i like to know where he is to make sure he’s safe :frown:

Hey,

unfortunately relationships that start young in the teens tend to run their course by around 3 - 5 years. It sounds as though he may have lost interest or be seeing someone else.
I will say the checking his snap map is a little odd. You can just message and see where he is? Perhaps, he felt you're always watching him. The best thing to do is talk about it and if he continues to act like this, maybe it's time to call it quits.

Reply 6

Original post by Anonymous

me (19F) and my boyfriend (18M) have been together 3 years now, we went through a phase when all we doing was arguing but that’s all fine now. However last night i saw he deleted our photos on his instagram, i asked him why and he just said cause they are old (2019). He went to work today and every now and then i like to check his snap maps to know where he is, i worry something may happen. i asked him why he turned it off and he completely went off on me saying i’m always on his case and to leave him alone. i did tell him i like to know where he is to make sure he’s safe :frown:

No. Don't write BS that you want to know where he is to "make sure he's safe". We all know full well the only reason you're tracking your bf's location is because you don't trust him for whatever reason. Stop lying to us and yourself. No man wants to stay with a girl that is watching his every movement, checking up on him, demanding to know where he is at all times. That's disgusting behaviour. It's quite obvious that he's losing interest in you, and I don't blame him. Deleting your pictures is his way of removing all the reminders that he has to come home to you being suspicious of everything he's doing. He's 18, he's a man and he can take care of himself. If you carry on being this overbearing, controlling, constantly stepping over boundaries, then don't be surprised when he loses even more interest in you and eventually finds someone else who doesn't do all of these things. Looking at his phone and tracking his location like you're some kind of spy is a huge red flag in any woman.

Reply 7

Lucifer323

18

Original post by Anonymous

me (19F) and my boyfriend (18M) have been together 3 years now, we went through a phase when all we doing was arguing but that’s all fine now. However last night i saw he deleted our photos on his instagram, i asked him why and he just said cause they are old (2019). He went to work today and every now and then i like to check his snap maps to know where he is, i worry something may happen. i asked him why he turned it off and he completely went off on me saying i’m always on his case and to leave him alone. i did tell him i like to know where he is to make sure he’s safe :frown:

Yes indeed, he has found someone else.
Leave him alone and find someone else.

Reply 8

Original post by asif007

No. Don't write BS that you want to know where he is to "make sure he's safe". We all know full well the only reason you're tracking your bf's location is because you don't trust him for whatever reason. Stop lying to us and yourself. No man wants to stay with a girl that is watching his every movement, checking up on him, demanding to know where he is at all times. That's disgusting behaviour. It's quite obvious that he's losing interest in you, and I don't blame him. Deleting your pictures is his way of removing all the reminders that he has to come home to you being suspicious of everything he's doing. He's 18, he's a man and he can take care of himself. If you carry on being this overbearing, controlling, constantly stepping over boundaries, then don't be surprised when he loses even more interest in you and eventually finds someone else who doesn't do all of these things. Looking at his phone and tracking his location like you're some kind of spy is a huge red flag in any woman.

This is incredibly harsh. Honestly. Looking at someone's snap location isn't "tracking their location" as the person CHOOSES to leave it on. I'll agree that asking someone why they've removed it is odd, but claiming that she's controlling, and overbearing is a reach.

Please ignore this message as this person clearly does not know what he is talking about and paradoxically, actually comes across as overbearing himself.

Reply 9

Original post by Anonymous

This is incredibly harsh. Honestly. Looking at someone's snap location isn't "tracking their location" as the person CHOOSES to leave it on. I'll agree that asking someone why they've removed it is odd, but claiming that she's controlling, and overbearing is a reach.

Please ignore this message as this person clearly does not know what he is talking about and paradoxically, actually comes across as overbearing himself.

Ok. Let's look at your argument. Why does this person have such a big problem with their bf turning off their location when he CHOOSES to do so? If he can choose to leave it on, he can choose to turn it off. What the OP is describing is emotionally-driven, overbearing, controlling, irrational behaviour. No man wants to waste his time putting up with that. He's already on the way out, if not looking for other options right now. I suggest you and the OP just accept the facts and move on.

Reply 10

username4449440

21

Original post by Anonymous

me (19F) and my boyfriend (18M) have been together 3 years now, we went through a phase when all we doing was arguing but that’s all fine now. However last night i saw he deleted our photos on his instagram, i asked him why and he just said cause they are old (2019). He went to work today and every now and then i like to check his snap maps to know where he is, i worry something may happen. i asked him why he turned it off and he completely went off on me saying i’m always on his case and to leave him alone. i did tell him i like to know where he is to make sure he’s safe :frown:

Everyone is saying it's fishy

and they could be right

but I think u are partially to blame we both know its bs that u want to check he's safe and when u confronting him about it its even more annoying

Reply 11

Original post by asif007

Ok. Let's look at your ridiculous argument. Why does this person have such a big problem with their bf turning off their location when he CHOOSES to do so? If he can choose to leave it on, he can choose to turn it off. What the OP is describing is the female tendency for emotionally-driven, overbearing, controlling, irrational behaviour. No man wants to waste his time putting up with that. He's already on the way out, if not looking for other options right now. I suggest you and the OP just accept the facts and move on.

So, you argument in return is to not only belittle my point but also to use blatant sexism?
Going even further to excuse infidelity? If he's not happen, he should leave, not cheat.
How do you know she has such a big problem with it? Her initial post said she merely asked, why is there something wrong with asking? We don't know the back story, so stop jumping to conclusions.

Reply 12

Original post by Anonymous

So, you argument in return is to not only belittle my point but also to use blatant sexism?
Going even further to excuse infidelity? If he's not happen, he should leave, not cheat.
How do you know she has such a big problem with it? Her initial post said she merely asked, why is there something wrong with asking? We don't know the back story, so stop jumping to conclusions.

LMAOOOOOOO the OP has mentioned nothing about her bf cheating. You think a man is cheating just because he doesn't want someone checking his location all the time? You're the one who's jumping to conclusions. :tongue:

Like I said - female irrational behaviour. Lack of trust both ways. Woman displaying a huge red flag. Don't try and argue back when you're blinded with emotional rage. You're just embarrassing yourself. Let's hear what the men have to say. Men will understand the bf's point of view.

Reply 13

ADarling

16

Original post by Anonymous

me (19F) and my boyfriend (18M) have been together 3 years now, we went through a phase when all we doing was arguing but that’s all fine now. However last night i saw he deleted our photos on his instagram, i asked him why and he just said cause they are old (2019). He went to work today and every now and then i like to check his snap maps to know where he is, i worry something may happen. i asked him why he turned it off and he completely went off on me saying i’m always on his case and to leave him alone. i did tell him i like to know where he is to make sure he’s safe :frown:

im so sorry

Reply 14

username4449440

21

Original post by Anonymous

So, you argument in return is to not only belittle my point but also to use blatant sexism?
Going even further to excuse infidelity? If he's not happen, he should leave, not cheat.
How do you know she has such a big problem with it? Her initial post said she merely asked, why is there something wrong with asking? We don't know the back story, so stop jumping to conclusions.

Actually there is cuz no one checks someones location to see if they are "safe" they'd call or text

and asking someone why they turned off theor location on a public app is hella weird and sus

Reply 15

Original post by the_pharaoh

Actually there is cuz no one checks someones location to see if they are "safe" they'd call or text

and asking someone why they turned off theor location on a public app is hella weird and sus

Finally someone who gets it!

Reply 16

Original post by asif007

LMAOOOOOOO the OP has mentioned nothing about her bf cheating. You think a man is cheating just because he doesn't want someone checking his location all the time? You're the one who's jumping to conclusions. :tongue:

Like I said - female irrational behaviour. Lack of trust both ways. Woman displaying a huge red flag. Don't try and argue back when you're blinded with emotional rage. You're just embarrassing yourself. Let's hear what the men have to say. Men will understand the bf's point of view.

The cheating comment was in response to you saying he's looking for other options - cheating. You said it yourself.

"Let's hear what the men have to say." Misogynistic or what? Especially since you don't know my gender.

Reply 17

username4591444

21

Original post by asif007

No. Don't write BS that you want to know where he is to "make sure he's safe". We all know full well the only reason you're tracking your bf's location is because you don't trust him for whatever reason. Stop lying to us and yourself. No man wants to stay with a girl that is watching his every movement, checking up on him, demanding to know where he is at all times. That's disgusting behaviour. It's quite obvious that he's losing interest in you, and I don't blame him. Deleting your pictures is his way of removing all the reminders that he has to come home to you being suspicious of everything he's doing. He's 18, he's a man and he can take care of himself. If you carry on being this overbearing, controlling, constantly stepping over boundaries, then don't be surprised when he loses even more interest in you and eventually finds someone else who doesn't do all of these things. Looking at his phone and tracking his location like you're some kind of spy is a huge red flag in any woman.

This is a ridiculous post above, way too harsh. You sound like a guy who is paranoid about controlling girlfriends.

as another user mentioned checking his location suggests you don’t trust him rather than you’re worried. I think you’re right to be mistrustful as he sounds a bit sus. Maybe the relationships has run its course and is tethering off now.

Do you feel very invested in it? Could you let go as well?

Reply 18

Original post by the_pharaoh

Actually there is cuz no one checks someones location to see if they are "safe" they'd call or text

and asking someone why they turned off theor location on a public app is hella weird and sus

If you scroll up, you'll see I was the first one to say why don't you try texting and calling?

I agree asking "someone" why they turned their location off is odd. However, I would assume one would have a decent enough relationship with their boyfriend to ask that as long as it's not demanding them to turn it back on. And in conjunction with him being off with her, deleting their pictures, I think it's ok to ask your partner as a general question.

Reply 19