bayonet charge and exposure comparison what grade can it be??

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avengersendgame
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i am doing aqa and will appreciate a mark out of 34 including 4 for SPAG

In both ‘Exposure’ and ‘Bayonet Charge’ conflict is presented with negative impacts specifically for the soldiers. Conflict in both poems is arguably very significant as they are both based on how the soldiers are affected by this conflict. Some readers may argue that conflict has positive impacts as they are defending their country no matter the circumstances, but the negative impacts are much more severe as soldiers rather prefer “ongoing suffering” than conflict.

In both ‘Exposure’ and ‘Bayonet Charge’ form is operated in order for the conflict to end. That’s conveyed by how Wilfred Owen describes that “nothing is happening.” It's refraining that throughout this poem is sending a political message to the reader that he wants peace to be established and Owen himself was very tired of this conflict. Furthermore, it emphasises the inertial sense of paralysis which is foreboding the ones that have died during this conflict. The silence in itself is with lifelessness; the uncanny and eerie reflects that all these confusions mirror that they are tired of this ongoing conflict and wanting it to end. This is exactly identical to ‘Bayonet Charge. In stanza one of ‘Bayonet Charge’ contains seven lines as well as the second stanza containing eight lines. The first stanza describes how “He lugged a rifle numb as a smashed arm” which is an iambic rhythm, but in contrast to the second stanza it employs the trochaic rhythm of how the “bullets were smacking the belly out of the air”. These two different form techniques, it is implying that this is having a disconcerting effect on war and that they want this to stop. It isn’t a natural rhythm to the poem so there is an unnatural rhythm to the soldiers, and how that they are tired of this ongoing conflict, and the unnatural is reflecting the uncomfortableness.

Furthermore, both poets illustrate the negative effects of conflict, it has had on the soldier from the experiences that they are going through. Towards the end of 'Exposure', the writer describes the soldiers are “paused over half-know faces. All their eyes are ice". It reveals the significance of how the effects of the conflict have caused their eyes to be both literally and metaphorically dying from the weather conditions. If the soldier were to have friends they would have much more pity, however, if they don’t have friends they wouldn't have a lot of pity for each other. "But nothing happens" is conveying that from this ongoing suffering they would rather prefer to suffer from this bitter cold than being shot in battle; also from this ongoing suffering they want a peace treaty to be established. ‘Bayonet Charge’ is exactly identical to how it illustrates the negative effects of conflict. Hughes describes how they “suddenly he awoke and was running - raw In raw." As for this quote, it begins with a media res and its mirroring that conflict is unnatural and is applied to the awakening of normal life and its very different to its current state. Also, that implies that it's a dream as the soldiers are awakening from war. The soldiers are awakening from the middle of "raw". The repetition of "raw" and "war" it depicts how conflict is both emotionally and physically painful. More on, it's a homophone for the war of how it has awakened them from their dreams as the word: "suddenly" suggests. The verb: "running" reflects that it's occurring suddenly but also without punctuation mimicking that they are either running towards death or running away from their death.

Moreover, ‘Exposure’ and ‘Bayonet Charge’ apply structure however for different purposes in order to show conflict in a particular viewpoint. Owen presents the conflict as being monotonous. That’s illustrated how Owen applies the half-rhymes of "salient" and "nervous". From this structural technique it implies how conflict has caused the poem to be unsettling and repetitive and the sentiment that " nothing happens." Furthermore, this mimics that there's no rhyme scheme occurring in 'Exposure'. Another interpretation is the effect of conflict is that it is depicting that conflict gives a sense of status and sameness throughout the poem that "nothing is happening." However, in contrast 'Bayonet Charge' conflict is shown to be chaotic through the structure. Hughes applies, both enjambment and caesuras to achieve how conflict is again very chaotic. As from the operation of the enjambment and caesura, it displays that Owen creates both a bizarre and erratic speed to the poem strengthening the point that charge of the soldiers was confusion and intensity of the battle with explosions and intensity of the battle. Therefore, it mirrors how conflict has led to jumbled thoughts in soldiers' minds in ‘Bayonet Charge’.

To conclude, ‘Exposure’ presents conflict being very dominant given that Owen explores conflict to illustrate what impact that this can have on the soldiers, but, on the other hand, ‘Bayonet Charge’ is a more inspiring conflict poem as it depicts how Hughes is having a tribute to his father’s suffering. It memorialises conflict as a warning for those in the future generation.
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Jingonator
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(Original post by avengersendgame)
i am doing aqa and will appreciate a mark out of 34 including 4 for SPAG

In both ‘Exposure’ and ‘Bayonet Charge’ conflict is presented with negative impacts specifically for the soldiers. Conflict in both poems is arguably very significant as they are both based on how the soldiers are affected by this conflict. Some readers may argue that conflict has positive impacts as they are defending their country no matter the circumstances, but the negative impacts are much more severe as soldiers rather prefer “ongoing suffering” than conflict.

In both ‘Exposure’ and ‘Bayonet Charge’ form is operated in order for the conflict to end. That’s conveyed by how Wilfred Owen describes that “nothing is happening.” It's refraining that throughout this poem is sending a political message to the reader that he wants peace to be established and Owen himself was very tired of this conflict. Furthermore, it emphasises the inertial sense of paralysis which is foreboding the ones that have died during this conflict. The silence in itself is with lifelessness; the uncanny and eerie reflects that all these confusions mirror that they are tired of this ongoing conflict and wanting it to end. This is exactly identical to ‘Bayonet Charge. In stanza one of ‘Bayonet Charge’ contains seven lines as well as the second stanza containing eight lines. The first stanza describes how “He lugged a rifle numb as a smashed arm” which is an iambic rhythm, but in contrast to the second stanza it employs the trochaic rhythm of how the “bullets were smacking the belly out of the air”. These two different form techniques, it is implying that this is having a disconcerting effect on war and that they want this to stop. It isn’t a natural rhythm to the poem so there is an unnatural rhythm to the soldiers, and how that they are tired of this ongoing conflict, and the unnatural is reflecting the uncomfortableness.

Furthermore, both poets illustrate the negative effects of conflict, it has had on the soldier from the experiences that they are going through. Towards the end of 'Exposure', the writer describes the soldiers are “paused over half-know faces. All their eyes are ice". It reveals the significance of how the effects of the conflict have caused their eyes to be both literally and metaphorically dying from the weather conditions. If the soldier were to have friends they would have much more pity, however, if they don’t have friends they wouldn't have a lot of pity for each other. "But nothing happens" is conveying that from this ongoing suffering they would rather prefer to suffer from this bitter cold than being shot in battle; also from this ongoing suffering they want a peace treaty to be established. ‘Bayonet Charge’ is exactly identical to how it illustrates the negative effects of conflict. Hughes describes how they “suddenly he awoke and was running - raw In raw." As for this quote, it begins with a media res and its mirroring that conflict is unnatural and is applied to the awakening of normal life and its very different to its current state. Also, that implies that it's a dream as the soldiers are awakening from war. The soldiers are awakening from the middle of "raw". The repetition of "raw" and "war" it depicts how conflict is both emotionally and physically painful. More on, it's a homophone for the war of how it has awakened them from their dreams as the word: "suddenly" suggests. The verb: "running" reflects that it's occurring suddenly but also without punctuation mimicking that they are either running towards death or running away from their death.

Moreover, ‘Exposure’ and ‘Bayonet Charge’ apply structure however for different purposes in order to show conflict in a particular viewpoint. Owen presents the conflict as being monotonous. That’s illustrated how Owen applies the half-rhymes of "salient" and "nervous". From this structural technique it implies how conflict has caused the poem to be unsettling and repetitive and the sentiment that " nothing happens." Furthermore, this mimics that there's no rhyme scheme occurring in 'Exposure'. Another interpretation is the effect of conflict is that it is depicting that conflict gives a sense of status and sameness throughout the poem that "nothing is happening." However, in contrast 'Bayonet Charge' conflict is shown to be chaotic through the structure. Hughes applies, both enjambment and caesuras to achieve how conflict is again very chaotic. As from the operation of the enjambment and caesura, it displays that Owen creates both a bizarre and erratic speed to the poem strengthening the point that charge of the soldiers was confusion and intensity of the battle with explosions and intensity of the battle. Therefore, it mirrors how conflict has led to jumbled thoughts in soldiers' minds in ‘Bayonet Charge’.

To conclude, ‘Exposure’ presents conflict being very dominant given that Owen explores conflict to illustrate what impact that this can have on the soldiers, but, on the other hand, ‘Bayonet Charge’ is a more inspiring conflict poem as it depicts how Hughes is having a tribute to his father’s suffering. It memorialises conflict as a warning for those in the future generation.
Im definitely not qualified to be giving mark for this lol but ill give some thoughts (i got an 8 in english lit in 2019 for context). Firstly, I really liked the structure of the essay - it was super clear and easy to follow. This adds coherence which is a hugely important aspect of any essay. Secondly, you analysed a range of different techniques used by the poets in the essay and went into good detail about the evidence you gave. Definitely some solid points of comparison that have been well justified.

The only thing that I would say could be a bit better was the conclusion. It might just be me, but I didn't really understood what you were trying to say about the poems, especially about the conflict in Bayonet charge was more 'inspiring'. Perhaps consider putting a bit more clarity into what this means. Having done GCSE English Lit, I always remember our teachers drillling us on the importance of writing a good conclusion.

Other than that, everything looks amazing. Well done!

By the way, it has been a while since I did English Literature, so feel free to ignore everything I just said and wait for someone more qualified to respond.

Good Luck
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avengersendgame
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(Original post by Jingonator)
Im definitely not qualified to be giving mark for this lol but ill give some thoughts (i got an 8 in english lit in 2019 for context). Firstly, I really liked the structure of the essay - it was super clear and easy to follow. This adds coherence which is a hugely important aspect of any essay. Secondly, you analysed a range of different techniques used by the poets in the essay and went into good detail about the evidence you gave. Definitely some solid points of comparison that have been well justified.

The only thing that I would say could be a bit better was the conclusion. It might just be me, but I didn't really understood what you were trying to say about the poems, especially about the conflict in Bayonet charge was more 'inspiring'. Perhaps consider putting a bit more clarity into what this means. Having done GCSE English Lit, I always remember our teachers drillling us on the importance of writing a good conclusion.

Other than that, everything looks amazing. Well done!

By the way, it has been a while since I did English Literature, so feel free to ignore everything I just said and wait for someone more qualified to respond.

Good Luck
i know you can't give a mark but approximately what mark can this be??? an approximate one will do.
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Jingonator
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(Original post by avengersendgame)
i know you can't give a mark but approximately what mark can this be??? an approximate one will do.
4 for SPAG - everything seemed good with that.
Id probably give 28 - the analysis was all done right in my books, but I think the conclusion weakened the credibility of your main argument that you outlined in your introduction.

Just to reiterate - I am a yr 13 student doing MEDICINE who received an 8 in english literature, but am still probably very rusty with how these essays are written. Please do not take the mark seriously. Focus on the improvements as a mark for an English Essay can vary heavily between different examiners.
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(Original post by Jingonator)
4 for SPAG - everything seemed good with that.
Id probably give 28 - the analysis was all done right in my books, but I think the conclusion weakened the credibility of your main argument that you outlined in your introduction.

Just to reiterate - I am a yr 13 student doing MEDICINE who received an 8 in english literature, but am still probably very rusty with how these essays are written. Please do not take the mark seriously. Focus on the improvements as a mark for an English Essay can vary heavily between different examiners.
GRADE 9 RIGHT OH MY DAISE I WAS AT GRADE 4 at OCTOBER 2020 and was at grade 4 ever since year 8. that's a massive improvement for me.

ALSO You know anyone who can give a much more accurate mark

attached is a mark scheme if someone wants to give an accurate mark.

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Last edited by avengersendgame; 5 months ago
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