Parents won’t financially support me at uni

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Jessicajones129
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I’m going to uni to study psychology but I physically don’t know if it’s possible for me to do so. My parents combined income is 80000 and my student loan is calculated on the basis of that which is £4000. But they’ve made It clear that they won’t fincailly support me and think that part of the uni is experience is being poor and working. My accommodation alone is £6,100 which is one of the cheaper ones. I obviously will get a job but I just don’t think it’s going to cover it. I don’t want my uni experience to be worrying about money and working. It’s also so unfair my friend will get £7000 bursary and £12000 maintenance loan which is ridiculous. My uni also doesn’t offer any scholarships which I would be eligible for so I really don’t know what to do.
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91vogue
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LOL u must have stingy parents then, when youre older dont bother visiting them in care homes, they seem stupid
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91vogue
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also dont move out if its so expensive u, being in debt is terrible
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alexr19i8
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(Original post by Jessicajones129)
I’m going to uni to study psychology but I physically don’t know if it’s possible for me to do so. My parents combined income is 80000 and my student loan is calculated on the basis of that which is £4000. But they’ve made It clear that they won’t fincailly support me and think that part of the uni is experience is being poor and working. My accommodation alone is £6,100 which is one of the cheaper ones. I obviously will get a job but I just don’t think it’s going to cover it. I don’t want my uni experience to be worrying about money and working. It’s also so unfair my friend will get £7000 bursary and £12000 maintenance loan which is ridiculous. My uni also doesn’t offer any scholarships which I would be eligible for so I really don’t know what to do.
I get what they're trying to instill and honestly its a good thing, but dont worry too much because at the end of the day if the last resort is you dropping out or them helping you, then I assume you know if they'd help you or not since they're your parents.
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Kogomogo
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This sort of situation is sadly where the system falls down and leaves education inaccessible for some.

Personally i'd move to a cheaper area of the country then work until i could be classed as an independent student and get the full loan, then go for the full uni experience. Some people want different uni experiences though and would rather work. If your parents will let you live low / free rent for a while that could be an option to save too.
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Jessicajones129
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(Original post by 91vogue)
also dont move out if its so expensive u, being in debt is terrible
I physically can’t, I live in the middle of nowhere and the nearest university is ages away

(Original post by Kogomogo)
This sort of situation is sadly where the system falls down and leaves education inaccessible for some.

Personally i'd move to a cheaper area of the country then work until i could be classed as an independent student and get the full loan, then go for the full uni experience. Some people want different uni experiences though and would rather work. If your parents will let you live low / free rent for a while that could be an option to save too.
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Jessicajones129
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(Original post by Kogomogo)
This sort of situation is sadly where the system falls down and leaves education inaccessible for some.

Personally i'd move to a cheaper area of the country then work until i could be classed as an independent student and get the full loan, then go for the full uni experience. Some people want different uni experiences though and would rather work. If your parents will let you live low / free rent for a while that could be an option to save too.
I’ve applied to unis which are 3+ hours away from my home so it isn’t possible for me to stay there. I’ve saved up 2000 pounds but It’s just not enough.
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yeye21
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(Original post by Jessicajones129)
I’m going to uni to study psychology but I physically don’t know if it’s possible for me to do so. My parents combined income is 80000 and my student loan is calculated on the basis of that which is £4000. But they’ve made It clear that they won’t fincailly support me and think that part of the uni is experience is being poor and working. My accommodation alone is £6,100 which is one of the cheaper ones. I obviously will get a job but I just don’t think it’s going to cover it. I don’t want my uni experience to be worrying about money and working. It’s also so unfair my friend will get £7000 bursary and £12000 maintenance loan which is ridiculous. My uni also doesn’t offer any scholarships which I would be eligible for so I really don’t know what to do.
just tell them to support you for another 3 years and it will help you get higher earnings in the future. Explain to them that by constantly worrying about money you will find it harder to focus on your degree/ get relevant internships which will mean that the job you get after you graduate may not be as good. Just tell them that any support is better than nothing
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𝓖𝓱𝓸𝓼𝓽𝓵𝓪𝓭𝔂
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(Original post by Jessicajones129)
I’m going to uni to study psychology but I physically don’t know if it’s possible for me to do so. My parents combined income is 80000 and my student loan is calculated on the basis of that which is £4000. But they’ve made It clear that they won’t fincailly support me and think that part of the uni is experience is being poor and working. My accommodation alone is £6,100 which is one of the cheaper ones. I obviously will get a job but I just don’t think it’s going to cover it. I don’t want my uni experience to be worrying about money and working. It’s also so unfair my friend will get £7000 bursary and £12000 maintenance loan which is ridiculous. My uni also doesn’t offer any scholarships which I would be eligible for so I really don’t know what to do.
You are going to have to show them a financial budget. Have they seen physically on a uni website how much accommodation actually costs? Because of your parents earnings and maintenance loan being means tested, they have to stump up at least what the government gives you. If you get £4000, they need to stump up about £5k per year to make up for the short fall of a maximum maintenance loan. Thats how it works.

So what you need to do is
Take the accommodation cost
add food (approx 30 pounds per week)
add bus fare
add going out/takeaway once in a while
add printing/books
add clothes/phone
.
Show them how short you will be and the fact you wont be able to go to uni without their input.
My eldest goes to uni. She gets about £6600 which covers her accommodation only. We still have to put £300 per month for her upkeep. Perhaps show them this thread. For now though, it does sound like they dont know and think accommodation is cheap as chips, when it really isnt.
Last edited by 𝓖𝓱𝓸𝓼𝓽𝓵𝓪𝓭𝔂; 4 weeks ago
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BlueEyedGirl_
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The expectation of the loan system is that parents provide support above certain thresholds. If you explaining this doesn’t have an affect on your parent, could you possibly have a teacher at your school explain this to them, to help them realise that they are expected to contribute? Maybe hearing from an authority figure would help.

Practically, if they won’t support you, it’s going to be hard. Some options:

Take a gap year, get a job and save as much as you can.
Apply to cheaper universities - look into the area, accommodation to find the cheapest places.
Save up as much as possible before uni - getting a job, online tutoring, doing odd jobs like babysitting or dog walking, anything to try and save money.
Have you got any other family members who could support you financially? Even if it’s in a loan form and you pay them back at some point.
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seruzachan
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Get a fulltime summer job and save
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giella
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I knew someone once who took another approach. She was paying me out of her own pocket for tutoring. Her parents literally stumped up nothing for her education. They earned a pile of money but her dad was always travelling and her mum thought the fact she went to grammar school was enough and she shouldn’t have to pay anything on top. They were firmly of the view that she should make her own way in life.
Rather than let this damage her relationship with her parents she decided to do two things. She took a year to go abroad, teach English, learn a language and make some money. She came back and took a job in a school as a TA and did language teaching on the side. Her parents didn’t charge her rent when she moved back home but she did contribute to household expenses, cooked dinner three times a week, saved her parents money on a cleaner as well and basically took over one or two of their bills. Two years later she decided what she wanted to do, which was law. She did her degree at the open university. She completed the degree in four years and graduated debt free, having paid her way through university. She landed a training contract in her final year which put her through the solicitor training course. All the extra skills she had acquired paid off at various points down the line.
She was a very pragmatic young woman and she ultimately made the best of a situation. I think the university experience is oversold to a degree and the price of accommodation these days is ridiculous. And whilst yes, I do think parents like yours need to wake up to the reality and look for ways to support you, if they choose not to, that is ultimately their prerogative. And they might want to teach you something and see what you do with this.
I think a mature conversation can be had here. It’s your first test of adult life. Maybe you start as an adult meeting your parents as adults. They’ve decided to treat you like an independent adult, arguably, so don’t meet them as a child. Can you make a good business case to them for supporting you? Can you ask them to explain their position as your parents and make sure that they understand what the implications of their decisions are? Can you ask what room for negotiation there is?
Saying please, please and please again is unlikely to change their minds if they’re already made up. If your relationship has previously been good with your parents, maybe think about why they have decided to do this now? And engage them on that subject. And if not, have a think about what you need to do to move on from this relationship. And open yourself up to new ways of making your way in the world.
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doodlegg
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I'm sorry for how your parents are, I always find it ironic that wealthy people can be the most stingy of all. I think it'd be a good idea to confront them with how expensive uni truly is with numbers, and that you literally could not afford it. Have you told them that you can't even afford rent, let alone transportation, supplies, food and things like clothes and electronics?
Obviously getting a job over the summer will help, though it's a bit in limbo during the pandemic. My brother worked in Tescos before he went, and he stacked up thousands with their £11 an hour wage. As I live in the middle of no where with no jobs, how I make money is through clinical trials, I can get anywhere from £1k-6k for doing like 2 weeks of work (said work being sitting in a hospital bed and just watching netflix and doing hw all day), but I know some are reluctant about using their body for science.
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Jessicajones129
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(Original post by doodlegg)
I'm sorry for how your parents are, I always find it ironic that wealthy people can be the most stingy of all. I think it'd be a good idea to confront them with how expensive uni truly is with numbers, and that you literally could not afford it. Have you told them that you can't even afford rent, let alone transportation, supplies, food and things like clothes and electronics?
Obviously getting a job over the summer will help, though it's a bit in limbo during the pandemic. My brother worked in Tescos before he went, and he stacked up thousands with their £11 an hour wage. As I live in the middle of no where with no jobs, how I make money is through clinical trials, I can get anywhere from £1k-6k for doing like 2 weeks of work (said work being sitting in a hospital bed and just watching netflix and doing hw all day), but I know some are reluctant about using their body for science.
They know how expensive uni is as they both in London. I don’t have a good relationship with them and I’ve tried explaining how the student finance works on the fact your parents cover the rest of the money but they just don’t care. I’m also not eligible for any loans or bursary’s because my parents make too much and my course doesn’t have any scholarships.
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Jessicajones129
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(Original post by Jessicajones129)
They know how expensive uni is as they both in London. I don’t have a good relationship with them and I’ve tried explaining how the student finance works on the fact your parents cover the rest of the money but they just don’t care. I’m also not eligible for any loans or bursary’s because my parents make too much and my course doesn’t have any scholarships.
If you don’t mind me asking about your clinical trials you do, do you have to be over 18 (my birthdays late august) and are they generally an alright experience?
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giella
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If you have a poor relationship with them anyway, then this might also be a cue for you to step away. Estranged students are entitled to a higher loan rate.
However, as someone who has had to step away from my family, I appreciate this is a hard decision to make and one you may not be ready for. And if that is a necessary step, university at this precise moment in time may not be the right thing for you right now.
I would get in touch with Stand Alone. They can give you some extra advice or support. Your sort of situation can be a turning point or a breaking point for some filial-parental relationships and it can go either way.
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BrunoFerns
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(Original post by Jessicajones129)
I’m going to uni to study psychology but I physically don’t know if it’s possible for me to do so. My parents combined income is 80000 and my student loan is calculated on the basis of that which is £4000. But they’ve made It clear that they won’t fincailly support me and think that part of the uni is experience is being poor and working. My accommodation alone is £6,100 which is one of the cheaper ones. I obviously will get a job but I just don’t think it’s going to cover it. I don’t want my uni experience to be worrying about money and working. It’s also so unfair my friend will get £7000 bursary and £12000 maintenance loan which is ridiculous. My uni also doesn’t offer any scholarships which I would be eligible for so I really don’t know what to do.
Check out this site called UniScholarz. They have a bunch of scholarships listed. Getting a scholarship is never guaranteed but you can try. Hope this helps.
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