Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

I'm always concerned about my appearance.

On FaceTime, in person, even when i'm looking at myself in a mirror, I am ALWAYS concerned about how others perceive me but most often, so so judgemental of my own appearance.

Of course, it is human nature that most of us have moments when we are not happy with the way we look but for me, it Is almost ALL the time.

If I'm on FaceTime, I will constantly look at the little screen with my picture on - is this self-obsessive? Maybe... but it's definitely not because I LIKE the way I look, in fact, there's always thoughts rushing through my mind like: do I look ugly? Should I sit differently so I don't look bad? Etc.

Why does no one else seem to be concerned about how they look... why is it mainly me most of the time? Ive even got to the point where I won't take pictures with my friends because I think I look awful.

It's even got to the point that I'm comparing how I look with my friends on a DAILY basis. It's not great for my mental health and neither is it helping me with self esteem... not at all.

I'm not overweight, but I always perceive myself as fat, and ugly etc. I try to get fitter and healthier, but I can't stick to a routine.

Does anyone feel like this too?
Do you have any tips about how to stick to a workout routine?

Reply 1

nnth

Original post by dazzymc

Yeah, I totally get what you mean. When I go on things like Teams or Zoom, I also spend a bit too much time looking at myself
rather than other people. Do you have many mirrors at home? I know I do. In my bedroom, I've got around five. Maybe this is one of the reasons why you're so focussed on your appearance, because you're constantly seeing yourself. So, if you hid a few of the mirrors, maybe you'd forget about what you look like, therefore would feel less self-conscious? You can also hide yourself on Teams and Zoom by pressing a small X button.

Another thing you could do is write a PMI about your appearance. By doing this, you'll see exactly what you hate about your looks, and you'll reveal some things that you love too. The "I" stands for interesting, so would include traits about your appearance that go under neither positive or minus. When you've written down all of the points, you can then evaluate the negatives.

Ask yourself these questions:
- Is this a minus because this is what society expects of me? Am I trying to fit into the crowd and follow gender stereotypes?
- How can I turn this minus into a positive? Do I need to change my appearance or my perspective of my appearance?
- How important is this minus? Is it detrimental to my appearance or is it only me that notices it?

I think you'd find this BBC documentary interesting: the Truth About Looking Good. The last 15 mins reveals an important relationship between our personality and beauty.