Relationships

I wouldn’t be best pleased if this happened to me. At the very least it’s disrespecting you massively.

If I met someone fantastic I wouldn’t want to sleep with anyone else, whether it was at the start, middle or end of a relationship

See this remark above, op?

I would just run, tbh

Her ex lives 300 miles away and she never hinted at a threesome, but I found out they’d slept together from her ex 7 months down the line recently. My partner begged and begged for me to forgive her as it was early days, but I still can’t drop the fact I in myself believe she had feelings, as I don’t know anyone that’s gone 300 miles to sleep with their ex...

Some big red flags OP, I’d move on or break up. You clearly aren’t too happy with it whilst she seems to want an open relationship (or a pass to explore her sexuality)...

We met 7 months ago when she was breaking things off with this “ex” she told me she had to go to drop her ex’s clothes off who lives 300 miles away which seemed odd to me in itself as she was staying over for a couple of nights. We were early days and I trusted her. She told me a kiss happened but nothing else, then 7 months later I find out from the ex they had slept together multiple times on this trip. Since her trip to London she has been incredibly loyal to me as we both spent every day together. But why feel the need to sleep with your ex even if it’s early days if there is no feelings there or attraction. This is something she always fails to answer.

did she get dumped by her ex or did she dump her. and did she cheat on you more than once other than that time. you both need to have a sit down and discussion and talk it through properly before u decide to do anything major

She left her ex when she met me, but through me and her seeing each other prior to this little “trip” to drop things off at her ex’s she had been speaking to her saying she wanted to marry her and loved her. Then 1 week after the trip she cut her ex off completely.

she could have left her ex and moved on too soon / too quickly. at the beginning of the relationship did she talk alot about her ex to you as if she was still in love with her or if she still is. have you met her ex before? how did she react when she found out that you knew that she told her she loved her and wanted to marry her? Me personally once she bought up marriage to another person thats the cut off point thats like the last straw. u deserve better and should move on and get with someone who deserves you and loves you and wouldnt dare to cheat. and travelling that faar out of her way to give her clothes does not make sense. if its your ex alot of people wouldnt travel that faar to just give them their clothes back she already had a motive or plan that she was going to sleep with her. if i had an ex clothes and she lived that far away i wod chuck em in the bin or burn em. she used it as an excuse to travel all the way to there. put yourself in her shoes would you do that? she slept with her and lied to you about it. she might have cut her ex off completely but what stops her from doing it again or cheating with another person who lives closer even. i wouldnt trust her. or you could give her a test, a loyalty test write up a text from a different phone number saying something along the lines of " Hi sexy, its me ...... i have changed my number/have lost my phone this is my new number. i really love you and miss you. i need you back in my life. i will change for you. you are my world, you are my everything. " use what ur girlfriend has told you about her to your advantage in this text and write please text me back and see what she replies back

At the start of us seeing each other she spoke of her ex but said she doesn’t have feelings for her yet she’s the best girl ever. I have never met her ex but she spoke to me on the phone recently to tell me the truth about what happened. I agree, travelling 300 miles to drop clothes off is a silly excuse and I don’t think anyone I know has done that. Her excuse to me was back then her ex was her comfort blanket when she was in a dark place. I questioned her on the messages she sent her ex whilst I knew her but weren’t official and she said she would say things like marriage to keep her around. I will try do what you have said and test her loyalty. When she knew I’d found out a good friend of hers told me she has stopped eating and couldn’t bring herself to realise what she had done...the one thing that plays on my mind is I don’t see why she felt the need to tell her ex she wants to marry her and she is the love of her life if she did not have feelings. She told me the sex had meaning but happened multiple times over the course of 2 days. All very suspicious.

when she is in a relationship and she is in a dark place and needs a comfort blanket the first person you go to is current partner not ur ex. "she would say things like marriage to keep her around." why did she want to keep her around, this is trying to tell me that the ex was prepared to let her go but she enticed her by saying things like i love you and want to marry you. You said that from what vibe she gives off "she seemed like she didnt love this ex" could be she is a attention seeker and is trying to use her ex for something else in exchange as the sex is nothing to her but, obvs the ex is not over her and she is using this to her advantage to get what she wants from her, but just do not know what exactly she wants from her. what is her end goal - is she is trying to use her for something in return? it does sound like the ex was a very submissive partner and she was probably dominant, but i could be totally wrong. does she enjoy the feeling of dominating someone and makes her feel happy and likes the fact of bossing someone around makes her feel wanted in some sort of way that she is above someone, like a urge for power. but one way or another she was having sex and relations with her and telling her that she loves her and want to marry her to keep her close and stop her from saying goodbye only to use her for her own pleasure. shes manipulating her and playing mind tricks with her for her own pleasure and satisfaction, but what i dont understand what does she have to gain from all this if shes not intereated in sex and she doesnt really love her, is she innit for the money? she should confide in you. but whatever you do dont question yourself, your not to blame and dont be saying to yourself "oh why" and questioning certain things it will run your brain crazy she is the one to blame and the only one. but be aware and keep your eyes wide open. dont try and get charmed by her spell and you need to stand your ground. she is either a attention seeker and loves getting spoiled and attention from someone else and loves the fact someone else is at their feet obeying them or she is just using them for her own pleasure/ gain trying to get something out of them. do you know your girlfriends secrets or was you together when she was in a dark place how long have you been together with her.
what it dont make sense a big no no is that stuck out was the fact that "she said she would say things like marriage to keep her around." Keep her around, why did her ex not want her around her? and she just wanted her around so badly that she was talking about marriage to keep her around. keep her aound for what. why does she want to keep her around. esp if she dont love her, she sees the sex as meaningless and is prepared to leave her now for you all of a sudden because you caught ger out why couldnt she leave her before why now only when she is caught out. and talking about marriage to someone else is just mind blowing esp to someone you have no feekings for apparently. it is hella confusing. is she actually prepared to leave her for you or is she just saying that to get you back in her good books. alot of things to think over and consider. is your girlfriend very manipulative/controlling. and in the trxt ask her if she is prepared to leave you for her ex.
personally i wouldnt bother with a women like her and she is worth your tears.

That all makes complete sense. She left and blocked her ex as soon as she was done with the trip to see her, then decided to commit to me and I have spent every day with this person since then. When I had asked my partner why she did not tell her ex that she was seeing me down when she was with her she said “she just couldn’t” but then chose to ghost her as soon as that trip was done. She also told her ex whilst down there she “needed time for herself”. All very odd and seems like the behaviour of using someone for sex to a pretty big extreme.