Poll: AQA GCSE Poetry Help - Feedback greatly appreciated. How many marks would you give this out of 30?
5-10 (1)
6.67%
10-15 (0)
0%
20-25 (1)
6.67%
26+ (11)
73.33%
30 Marks (Full marks) (2)
13.33%
Happs_2705
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Hi everyone! I have answered this question as practice as was wondering if anyone would be willing to give me feedback? It is out of 30 Marks, and I am aiming for 28-30 marks. Do you think I have reached this boundary with my work? Thank you ever so much! I asked my teacher for feedback but she refuses to and claims if she marks mine she has “to mark everyone else’s”. Thanks once again! I’m a bit worried that I’m going off topic, but do you think I have answerd the question in every paragraph? Any criticism would be great! THANK YOU SO MUCH!

This is the Question: Compare how poets present the ways people are affected by difficult experiences in ‘Remains’ and in one other poem from ‘Power and conflict’.

I am comparing it with Bayonet Charge and this is my answer:

Both Bayonet Charge and Remains explore the devastating psychological effect of war on the soldiers. In both poems we are presented with the idea that war is haunting and inescapable – in a similar way to PTSD. ‘Bayonet Charge’ seems to indicate how the realities of war are still very poignant and real, whereas in ‘Remains’ the memories seem distant, as if the solider has become numb to it. There is an acceptance that the horrific effects of war are indescribable and language can merely make an attempt to replicate the extent of the emotional suffering.

Both poets explore the difficulties in finding suitable language to describe the effects of war and the psychological suffering of the soldiers. Set during World War l, Hughes' 'Bayonet Charge' depicts the thoughts and feelings of one soldier as he experiences an existential crisis while charging through no-man's land towards the enemy. From the in medias res opening of 'Suddenly he awoke' there is a tone of agitation and discomfort that is maintained throughout the poem. Hughes resorts to use many similes throughout the poem as he struggles to find adequate language to describe the scale of horror. Initially, the soldier's rifle is 'numb as a smashed arm', the powerful simile highlights the soldier's sense of powerlessness. This gives the first indication of how he feels deprived of his humanity and the phycological suffering of the soldier. Similarly, Remains also explores the difficulty in finding adequate language to describe the effects of war. While Bayonet Charge explores the damaging psychological impact of war live on the battlefield, Armitage's Remains is more focused on how the psychological damage prevails when a soldier return home from conflict - in this case the Iraqi conflict in 2003. Whereas the third person narration in Bayonet Charge gave a sense of the soldier feeling his mind was disconnected from his body, the first person narration in Remains gives a more direct and personal insight into the soldier's inability to cope with his terrifying experience of killing a looter. For example, when discussing the actual act of killing, the speaker uses the first-person plural ‘we’, this shares the blame among all three soldiers who opened fire, reinforcing the speakers need to feel distanced from what happened. Like in Bayonet Charge, the poem also begins using in medias res ‘on another occasion. The impact of the technique in this poem is to imply that this particular violent memory is one of several painful experiences he is trying to come to terms with. Both poets reveal another devastating affect of war which is that soldiers are left powerless and vulnerable and are haunted by the memories of their experiences which have and will continue to impact their day to day life.

Both poems begin in the midst of war to explore the raw, brutal experiences faced by the soldiers. The adverb “suddenly” in ‘Bayonet Charge’ immediately instils a sense of action and motion, mixed with fear and a release of apprehension. The poem adopts a third person narrative, which dehumanises the soldier as he’s not given a identity or personality, suggesting that the soldier is insignificant, in the mass of war and chaos. This could also indicate how war changes soldiers both mentally and physically – stripping them off their humanity and leaving them as a mere shell of who they once were. The adverb also makes the reader confused and unsure of what is happening, which is exactly how the solider is feeling when he suddenly wakes up and is charging forward with his bayonet. Similar to the way the soldiers are plunged into war, Hughes provides the reader with similar feelings of disarray and confusion as he abruptly begins the poem, immediately introducing both the pace and the merciless affects of war. In ‘Remains’, however, the memories seem just as intense and the soldier is just as confused, but perhaps the solider is used to the memories, which indicates that the effect on the two men was different. Armitage uses ominous, uncertain words such as “perhaps” and “possibly” which could suggest that the soldier doesn’t remember much detail about what happened during the war and insinuate the soldiers sense of uncertainty and hesitancy to recall the horrible memories of the past. The alliteration and rhythmic balance of the line, stating the worrying alternatives, hint towards the internal conflict within the soldier. It may ease his conscience to tell himself that the looter was armed and then his own life would have been at risk. Armitage also uses juxtaposition here as the soldiers do not know whether this man is armed or not but they have to follow their commands which gives an effect of parallelism and stillness as they have to follow their orders. The language signals uncertainty —it is a perfectly balanced 4 and 4 syllable sentence, which makes it sound like the speaker is weighing it up (he sounds unsure of himself) and the use of the plosive 'p' sound gives a slight sense of aggression and heightened emotion. This is a justification for killing, yet the event clearly disturbs the soldier. This could be because he is trying to forget, or because death and tragedy are too common that he has become used to it. Thus, both poets describe the psychological affects of war as it causes the soldiers to become confused and overwhelmed, resulting in them doubting and losing confidence in themselves. Whilst Hughes doesn't directly discuss the psychological effects of war like Armitage, his use of figurative language suggests deeper layers of harm that are universal in nature. They affect the individual, but also the whole of mankind.

Both poets also discuss the physical pain and suffering endured by the soldiers. Bayonet Charge’ indirectly references the physical injuries inflicted during the First World War. Hughes personifies the ‘air' saying that ‘bullets smack the belly out of the air'. Whilst this avoids the shock value of actual human horror, it makes the effect of the line to suggest that bullets are everywhere. The metaphor points to the intense force of the bullets as they fly past. The vivid image, combined with the alliteration and repetition of the strong plosive B sound, is unquestionably violent, and suggests that the soldier is lucky for every additional moment he avoids being hit. This creates a sense of the visceral intensity of warfare and conveys the force and speed of the bullets. At the same time, it's a rather disorientating metaphor, It's as though the soldier, running in his heightened state of panic, doesn't have time to fully figure out the way that he perceives his surroundings. The end-stop here, executed with an m-dash after “air," also looks like a blast of horizontal rifle fire and interrupts the flow of the poem. Additionally, Hughes' image of ‘the hare’ and its suffering is symbolic of a soldier’s injuries, the simile ‘rolled like a flame’ suggests that the hare is burning in agony and ‘its mouth wide’ is mirroring the pain of an injured soldier. ‘Remains’ also depicts physical pain and suffering, but in a much more direct and less figurative way. Armitage describes ‘every round as it rips through (the looter's) life’ and how his injuries are so severe that the speaker can see ‘broad daylight on the other side’. This is gruesome imagery without any poetic gloss, in fact the man becomes ‘pain itself, the image of agony’. This echoes the image of Hughes’ hare ‘rolling’ and ‘crawling’ in agony. Therefore, both poets explore the effects of the painful physical injuries inflicted on the soldiers.

Furthermore, in Bayonet Charge, the soldier is described as 'sweating like molten iron’, demonstrating the physical distraught the soldier feels. The powerful simile explores the excruciating fatigue that comes with war – the soldiers are being pushed by their adrenaline. The sense of psychological chaos is also emphasised by the use of enjambment to distort the lines and disjoint the flow of the poem. Interestingly, the noun 'reason' occupies a single line perhaps to highlight how the soldier is questioning his motives for fighting. The cumulative effect of the series of dense similes in the poem to make the poem inscrutable. By deliberately making the poem difficult for the reader to get through, Hughes is reflecting the difficulties of travelling through no-man's-land. The final simile is perhaps the most poignant - 'King, honour, human dignity, etcetera dropped like luxuries'. The asyndetic list 'king, honour, human dignity' contains noble reasons traditionally associated with why soldiers are proud to defend their country in war. However, the final word in the list ‘etcetera' adds bathos which immediately crushes the previous three reasons. It is clear the soldier's absolute terror has destroyed any sense of pride he could possibly have in his work. Noble virtues such as pride and 'honour' have instead been 'dropped like luxuries' and the soldier's only thought is to escape and 'get out of that blue crackling air'. The metaphorical final line 'his terror's touchy dynamite' captures how volatile, fragile and unpredictable his mind has become due to the devastating effects of war. Like in Bayonet Charge, the chaotic structure of the poem reflects the chaos of war. Whereas enjambment was used in Bayonet Charge to depict the difficulties of travelling through a war zone, Armitage uses enjambment to reflect the difficulties of sleep - 'But I blink and he bursts through the doors'. The stanza leaps between these two lines and this reflects how the sharp and painful memories of killing the looter cause him to suddenly awake in the night. The explosive 'b' sounds also helps to emphasise the sense of agony and reinforces the devastating effects of war and the psychological suffering of the soldiers. Bayonet Charge’ is written in equal stanzas, brimming with punctuation and power, and littered with enjambment. Perhaps the regimental structure could indicate life in the military, like the continuous formality of a team or unit. The punctuated pauses could be symbolic of how death and injury causes physical pauses and emotional pauses in a soldier’s day. It could also represent how, even once a solider has returned from a placement, war memories can break up the pattern of their day and ruin the flow of life, because the punctuation stunts the flow of the poem. In fact, the enjambment in both poems could signify how the feeling of being haunted never leaves you and is constantly running within you.

Although over 80 years separate the two wars depicted in the poems, convey the issue of post-traumatic stress disorder which is still a taboo subject within the military. Therefore, it could be argued both poets share a common purpose: to shine a light on not only the futility of war but also how psychologically damaging the effect of war is with the hope of raising awareness towards the issue of PTSD. Whilst these poets have taken very different approaches to their depictions of very different wars, they have nonetheless explored similar themes: physical and psychological harm and the powerlessness of the individual in the face of global politics. They both depict violence and phycological suffering but use it to highlight the wider affects of war.
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QueenEsther
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(Original post by Happs_2705)
Hi everyone! I have answered this question as practice as was wondering if anyone would be willing to give me feedback? It is out of 30 Marks, and I am aiming for 28-30 marks. Do you think I have reached this boundary with my work? Thank you ever so much! I asked my teacher for feedback but she refuses to and claims if she marks mine she has “to mark everyone else’s”. Thanks once again! I’m a bit worried that I’m going off topic, but do you think I have answerd the question in every paragraph? Any criticism would be great! THANK YOU SO MUCH!

This is the Question: Compare how poets present the ways people are affected by difficult experiences in ‘Remains’ and in one other poem from ‘Power and conflict’.

I am comparing it with Bayonet Charge and this is my answer:

Both Bayonet Charge and Remains explore the devastating psychological effect of war on the soldiers. In both poems we are presented with the idea that war is haunting and inescapable – in a similar way to PTSD. ‘Bayonet Charge’ seems to indicate how the realities of war are still very poignant and real, whereas in ‘Remains’ the memories seem distant, as if the solider has become numb to it. There is an acceptance that the horrific effects of war are indescribable and language can merely make an attempt to replicate the extent of the emotional suffering.

Both poets explore the difficulties in finding suitable language to describe the effects of war and the psychological suffering of the soldiers. Set during World War l, Hughes' 'Bayonet Charge' depicts the thoughts and feelings of one soldier as he experiences an existential crisis while charging through no-man's land towards the enemy. From the in medias res opening of 'Suddenly he awoke' there is a tone of agitation and discomfort that is maintained throughout the poem. Hughes resorts to use many similes throughout the poem as he struggles to find adequate language to describe the scale of horror. Initially, the soldier's rifle is 'numb as a smashed arm', the powerful simile highlights the soldier's sense of powerlessness. This gives the first indication of how he feels deprived of his humanity and the phycological suffering of the soldier. Similarly, Remains also explores the difficulty in finding adequate language to describe the effects of war. While Bayonet Charge explores the damaging psychological impact of war live on the battlefield, Armitage's Remains is more focused on how the psychological damage prevails when a soldier return home from conflict - in this case the Iraqi conflict in 2003. Whereas the third person narration in Bayonet Charge gave a sense of the soldier feeling his mind was disconnected from his body, the first person narration in Remains gives a more direct and personal insight into the soldier's inability to cope with his terrifying experience of killing a looter. For example, when discussing the actual act of killing, the speaker uses the first-person plural ‘we’, this shares the blame among all three soldiers who opened fire, reinforcing the speakers need to feel distanced from what happened. Like in Bayonet Charge, the poem also begins using in medias res ‘on another occasion. The impact of the technique in this poem is to imply that this particular violent memory is one of several painful experiences he is trying to come to terms with. Both poets reveal another devastating affect of war which is that soldiers are left powerless and vulnerable and are haunted by the memories of their experiences which have and will continue to impact their day to day life.

Both poems begin in the midst of war to explore the raw, brutal experiences faced by the soldiers. The adverb “suddenly” in ‘Bayonet Charge’ immediately instils a sense of action and motion, mixed with fear and a release of apprehension. The poem adopts a third person narrative, which dehumanises the soldier as he’s not given a identity or personality, suggesting that the soldier is insignificant, in the mass of war and chaos. This could also indicate how war changes soldiers both mentally and physically – stripping them off their humanity and leaving them as a mere shell of who they once were. The adverb also makes the reader confused and unsure of what is happening, which is exactly how the solider is feeling when he suddenly wakes up and is charging forward with his bayonet. Similar to the way the soldiers are plunged into war, Hughes provides the reader with similar feelings of disarray and confusion as he abruptly begins the poem, immediately introducing both the pace and the merciless affects of war. In ‘Remains’, however, the memories seem just as intense and the soldier is just as confused, but perhaps the solider is used to the memories, which indicates that the effect on the two men was different. Armitage uses ominous, uncertain words such as “perhaps” and “possibly” which could suggest that the soldier doesn’t remember much detail about what happened during the war and insinuate the soldiers sense of uncertainty and hesitancy to recall the horrible memories of the past. The alliteration and rhythmic balance of the line, stating the worrying alternatives, hint towards the internal conflict within the soldier. It may ease his conscience to tell himself that the looter was armed and then his own life would have been at risk. Armitage also uses juxtaposition here as the soldiers do not know whether this man is armed or not but they have to follow their commands which gives an effect of parallelism and stillness as they have to follow their orders. The language signals uncertainty —it is a perfectly balanced 4 and 4 syllable sentence, which makes it sound like the speaker is weighing it up (he sounds unsure of himself) and the use of the plosive 'p' sound gives a slight sense of aggression and heightened emotion. This is a justification for killing, yet the event clearly disturbs the soldier. This could be because he is trying to forget, or because death and tragedy are too common that he has become used to it. Thus, both poets describe the psychological affects of war as it causes the soldiers to become confused and overwhelmed, resulting in them doubting and losing confidence in themselves. Whilst Hughes doesn't directly discuss the psychological effects of war like Armitage, his use of figurative language suggests deeper layers of harm that are universal in nature. They affect the individual, but also the whole of mankind.

Both poets also discuss the physical pain and suffering endured by the soldiers. Bayonet Charge’ indirectly references the physical injuries inflicted during the First World War. Hughes personifies the ‘air' saying that ‘bullets smack the belly out of the air'. Whilst this avoids the shock value of actual human horror, it makes the effect of the line to suggest that bullets are everywhere. The metaphor points to the intense force of the bullets as they fly past. The vivid image, combined with the alliteration and repetition of the strong plosive B sound, is unquestionably violent, and suggests that the soldier is lucky for every additional moment he avoids being hit. This creates a sense of the visceral intensity of warfare and conveys the force and speed of the bullets. At the same time, it's a rather disorientating metaphor, It's as though the soldier, running in his heightened state of panic, doesn't have time to fully figure out the way that he perceives his surroundings. The end-stop here, executed with an m-dash after “air," also looks like a blast of horizontal rifle fire and interrupts the flow of the poem. Additionally, Hughes' image of ‘the hare’ and its suffering is symbolic of a soldier’s injuries, the simile ‘rolled like a flame’ suggests that the hare is burning in agony and ‘its mouth wide’ is mirroring the pain of an injured soldier. ‘Remains’ also depicts physical pain and suffering, but in a much more direct and less figurative way. Armitage describes ‘every round as it rips through (the looter's) life’ and how his injuries are so severe that the speaker can see ‘broad daylight on the other side’. This is gruesome imagery without any poetic gloss, in fact the man becomes ‘pain itself, the image of agony’. This echoes the image of Hughes’ hare ‘rolling’ and ‘crawling’ in agony. Therefore, both poets explore the effects of the painful physical injuries inflicted on the soldiers.

Furthermore, in Bayonet Charge, the soldier is described as 'sweating like molten iron’, demonstrating the physical distraught the soldier feels. The powerful simile explores the excruciating fatigue that comes with war – the soldiers are being pushed by their adrenaline. The sense of psychological chaos is also emphasised by the use of enjambment to distort the lines and disjoint the flow of the poem. Interestingly, the noun 'reason' occupies a single line perhaps to highlight how the soldier is questioning his motives for fighting. The cumulative effect of the series of dense similes in the poem to make the poem inscrutable. By deliberately making the poem difficult for the reader to get through, Hughes is reflecting the difficulties of travelling through no-man's-land. The final simile is perhaps the most poignant - 'King, honour, human dignity, etcetera dropped like luxuries'. The asyndetic list 'king, honour, human dignity' contains noble reasons traditionally associated with why soldiers are proud to defend their country in war. However, the final word in the list ‘etcetera' adds bathos which immediately crushes the previous three reasons. It is clear the soldier's absolute terror has destroyed any sense of pride he could possibly have in his work. Noble virtues such as pride and 'honour' have instead been 'dropped like luxuries' and the soldier's only thought is to escape and 'get out of that blue crackling air'. The metaphorical final line 'his terror's touchy dynamite' captures how volatile, fragile and unpredictable his mind has become due to the devastating effects of war. Like in Bayonet Charge, the chaotic structure of the poem reflects the chaos of war. Whereas enjambment was used in Bayonet Charge to depict the difficulties of travelling through a war zone, Armitage uses enjambment to reflect the difficulties of sleep - 'But I blink and he bursts through the doors'. The stanza leaps between these two lines and this reflects how the sharp and painful memories of killing the looter cause him to suddenly awake in the night. The explosive 'b' sounds also helps to emphasise the sense of agony and reinforces the devastating effects of war and the psychological suffering of the soldiers. Bayonet Charge’ is written in equal stanzas, brimming with punctuation and power, and littered with enjambment. Perhaps the regimental structure could indicate life in the military, like the continuous formality of a team or unit. The punctuated pauses could be symbolic of how death and injury causes physical pauses and emotional pauses in a soldier’s day. It could also represent how, even once a solider has returned from a placement, war memories can break up the pattern of their day and ruin the flow of life, because the punctuation stunts the flow of the poem. In fact, the enjambment in both poems could signify how the feeling of being haunted never leaves you and is constantly running within you.

Although over 80 years separate the two wars depicted in the poems, convey the issue of post-traumatic stress disorder which is still a taboo subject within the military. Therefore, it could be argued both poets share a common purpose: to shine a light on not only the futility of war but also how psychologically damaging the effect of war is with the hope of raising awareness towards the issue of PTSD. Whilst these poets have taken very different approaches to their depictions of very different wars, they have nonetheless explored similar themes: physical and psychological harm and the powerlessness of the individual in the face of global politics. They both depict violence and phycological suffering but use it to highlight the wider affects of war.
I'm not a teacher but this is a really strong answer!! I like how you brought context into it as it made your answer more thoughtful. Honestly, I don't see any faults. I would give you 28/30. Good luck on your exams
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Happs_2705
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I'm not a teacher but this is a really strong answer!! I like how you brought context into it as it made your answer more thoughtful. Honestly, I don't see any faults. I would give you 28/30. Good luck on your examsT
Thanks so much! Would you say that I have used enough terminology and that I have stayed on topic? I am mainly worried about not answering the question and just waffling.
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QueenEsther
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Thanks so much! Would you say that I have used enough terminology and that I have stayed on topic? I am mainly worried about not answering the question and just waffling.
Honestly, you have used enough terminology, no you haven't waffled at all. Lol. This is such a good essay and you should be proud of yourself!
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Happs_2705
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Honestly, you have used enough terminology, no you haven't waffled at all. Lol. This is such a good essay and you should be proud of yourself!
Thanks so much! I really do appreciate it!
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mayyee21
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(Original post by Happs_2705)
Hi everyone! I have answered this question as practice as was wondering if anyone would be willing to give me feedback? It is out of 30 Marks, and I am aiming for 28-30 marks. Do you think I have reached this boundary with my work? Thank you ever so much! I asked my teacher for feedback but she refuses to and claims if she marks mine she has “to mark everyone else’s”. Thanks once again! I’m a bit worried that I’m going off topic, but do you think I have answerd the question in every paragraph? Any criticism would be great! THANK YOU SO MUCH!

This is the Question: Compare how poets present the ways people are affected by difficult experiences in ‘Remains’ and in one other poem from ‘Power and conflict’.

I am comparing it with Bayonet Charge and this is my answer:

Both Bayonet Charge and Remains explore the devastating psychological effect of war on the soldiers. In both poems we are presented with the idea that war is haunting and inescapable – in a similar way to PTSD. ‘Bayonet Charge’ seems to indicate how the realities of war are still very poignant and real, whereas in ‘Remains’ the memories seem distant, as if the solider has become numb to it. There is an acceptance that the horrific effects of war are indescribable and language can merely make an attempt to replicate the extent of the emotional suffering.

Both poets explore the difficulties in finding suitable language to describe the effects of war and the psychological suffering of the soldiers. Set during World War l, Hughes' 'Bayonet Charge' depicts the thoughts and feelings of one soldier as he experiences an existential crisis while charging through no-man's land towards the enemy. From the in medias res opening of 'Suddenly he awoke' there is a tone of agitation and discomfort that is maintained throughout the poem. Hughes resorts to use many similes throughout the poem as he struggles to find adequate language to describe the scale of horror. Initially, the soldier's rifle is 'numb as a smashed arm', the powerful simile highlights the soldier's sense of powerlessness. This gives the first indication of how he feels deprived of his humanity and the phycological suffering of the soldier. Similarly, Remains also explores the difficulty in finding adequate language to describe the effects of war. While Bayonet Charge explores the damaging psychological impact of war live on the battlefield, Armitage's Remains is more focused on how the psychological damage prevails when a soldier return home from conflict - in this case the Iraqi conflict in 2003. Whereas the third person narration in Bayonet Charge gave a sense of the soldier feeling his mind was disconnected from his body, the first person narration in Remains gives a more direct and personal insight into the soldier's inability to cope with his terrifying experience of killing a looter. For example, when discussing the actual act of killing, the speaker uses the first-person plural ‘we’, this shares the blame among all three soldiers who opened fire, reinforcing the speakers need to feel distanced from what happened. Like in Bayonet Charge, the poem also begins using in medias res ‘on another occasion. The impact of the technique in this poem is to imply that this particular violent memory is one of several painful experiences he is trying to come to terms with. Both poets reveal another devastating affect of war which is that soldiers are left powerless and vulnerable and are haunted by the memories of their experiences which have and will continue to impact their day to day life.

Both poems begin in the midst of war to explore the raw, brutal experiences faced by the soldiers. The adverb “suddenly” in ‘Bayonet Charge’ immediately instils a sense of action and motion, mixed with fear and a release of apprehension. The poem adopts a third person narrative, which dehumanises the soldier as he’s not given a identity or personality, suggesting that the soldier is insignificant, in the mass of war and chaos. This could also indicate how war changes soldiers both mentally and physically – stripping them off their humanity and leaving them as a mere shell of who they once were. The adverb also makes the reader confused and unsure of what is happening, which is exactly how the solider is feeling when he suddenly wakes up and is charging forward with his bayonet. Similar to the way the soldiers are plunged into war, Hughes provides the reader with similar feelings of disarray and confusion as he abruptly begins the poem, immediately introducing both the pace and the merciless affects of war. In ‘Remains’, however, the memories seem just as intense and the soldier is just as confused, but perhaps the solider is used to the memories, which indicates that the effect on the two men was different. Armitage uses ominous, uncertain words such as “perhaps” and “possibly” which could suggest that the soldier doesn’t remember much detail about what happened during the war and insinuate the soldiers sense of uncertainty and hesitancy to recall the horrible memories of the past. The alliteration and rhythmic balance of the line, stating the worrying alternatives, hint towards the internal conflict within the soldier. It may ease his conscience to tell himself that the looter was armed and then his own life would have been at risk. Armitage also uses juxtaposition here as the soldiers do not know whether this man is armed or not but they have to follow their commands which gives an effect of parallelism and stillness as they have to follow their orders. The language signals uncertainty —it is a perfectly balanced 4 and 4 syllable sentence, which makes it sound like the speaker is weighing it up (he sounds unsure of himself) and the use of the plosive 'p' sound gives a slight sense of aggression and heightened emotion. This is a justification for killing, yet the event clearly disturbs the soldier. This could be because he is trying to forget, or because death and tragedy are too common that he has become used to it. Thus, both poets describe the psychological affects of war as it causes the soldiers to become confused and overwhelmed, resulting in them doubting and losing confidence in themselves. Whilst Hughes doesn't directly discuss the psychological effects of war like Armitage, his use of figurative language suggests deeper layers of harm that are universal in nature. They affect the individual, but also the whole of mankind.

Both poets also discuss the physical pain and suffering endured by the soldiers. Bayonet Charge’ indirectly references the physical injuries inflicted during the First World War. Hughes personifies the ‘air' saying that ‘bullets smack the belly out of the air'. Whilst this avoids the shock value of actual human horror, it makes the effect of the line to suggest that bullets are everywhere. The metaphor points to the intense force of the bullets as they fly past. The vivid image, combined with the alliteration and repetition of the strong plosive B sound, is unquestionably violent, and suggests that the soldier is lucky for every additional moment he avoids being hit. This creates a sense of the visceral intensity of warfare and conveys the force and speed of the bullets. At the same time, it's a rather disorientating metaphor, It's as though the soldier, running in his heightened state of panic, doesn't have time to fully figure out the way that he perceives his surroundings. The end-stop here, executed with an m-dash after “air," also looks like a blast of horizontal rifle fire and interrupts the flow of the poem. Additionally, Hughes' image of ‘the hare’ and its suffering is symbolic of a soldier’s injuries, the simile ‘rolled like a flame’ suggests that the hare is burning in agony and ‘its mouth wide’ is mirroring the pain of an injured soldier. ‘Remains’ also depicts physical pain and suffering, but in a much more direct and less figurative way. Armitage describes ‘every round as it rips through (the looter's) life’ and how his injuries are so severe that the speaker can see ‘broad daylight on the other side’. This is gruesome imagery without any poetic gloss, in fact the man becomes ‘pain itself, the image of agony’. This echoes the image of Hughes’ hare ‘rolling’ and ‘crawling’ in agony. Therefore, both poets explore the effects of the painful physical injuries inflicted on the soldiers.

Furthermore, in Bayonet Charge, the soldier is described as 'sweating like molten iron’, demonstrating the physical distraught the soldier feels. The powerful simile explores the excruciating fatigue that comes with war – the soldiers are being pushed by their adrenaline. The sense of psychological chaos is also emphasised by the use of enjambment to distort the lines and disjoint the flow of the poem. Interestingly, the noun 'reason' occupies a single line perhaps to highlight how the soldier is questioning his motives for fighting. The cumulative effect of the series of dense similes in the poem to make the poem inscrutable. By deliberately making the poem difficult for the reader to get through, Hughes is reflecting the difficulties of travelling through no-man's-land. The final simile is perhaps the most poignant - 'King, honour, human dignity, etcetera dropped like luxuries'. The asyndetic list 'king, honour, human dignity' contains noble reasons traditionally associated with why soldiers are proud to defend their country in war. However, the final word in the list ‘etcetera' adds bathos which immediately crushes the previous three reasons. It is clear the soldier's absolute terror has destroyed any sense of pride he could possibly have in his work. Noble virtues such as pride and 'honour' have instead been 'dropped like luxuries' and the soldier's only thought is to escape and 'get out of that blue crackling air'. The metaphorical final line 'his terror's touchy dynamite' captures how volatile, fragile and unpredictable his mind has become due to the devastating effects of war. Like in Bayonet Charge, the chaotic structure of the poem reflects the chaos of war. Whereas enjambment was used in Bayonet Charge to depict the difficulties of travelling through a war zone, Armitage uses enjambment to reflect the difficulties of sleep - 'But I blink and he bursts through the doors'. The stanza leaps between these two lines and this reflects how the sharp and painful memories of killing the looter cause him to suddenly awake in the night. The explosive 'b' sounds also helps to emphasise the sense of agony and reinforces the devastating effects of war and the psychological suffering of the soldiers. Bayonet Charge’ is written in equal stanzas, brimming with punctuation and power, and littered with enjambment. Perhaps the regimental structure could indicate life in the military, like the continuous formality of a team or unit. The punctuated pauses could be symbolic of how death and injury causes physical pauses and emotional pauses in a soldier’s day. It could also represent how, even once a solider has returned from a placement, war memories can break up the pattern of their day and ruin the flow of life, because the punctuation stunts the flow of the poem. In fact, the enjambment in both poems could signify how the feeling of being haunted never leaves you and is constantly running within you.

Although over 80 years separate the two wars depicted in the poems, convey the issue of post-traumatic stress disorder which is still a taboo subject within the military. Therefore, it could be argued both poets share a common purpose: to shine a light on not only the futility of war but also how psychologically damaging the effect of war is with the hope of raising awareness towards the issue of PTSD. Whilst these poets have taken very different approaches to their depictions of very different wars, they have nonetheless explored similar themes: physical and psychological harm and the powerlessness of the individual in the face of global politics. They both depict violence and phycological suffering but use it to highlight the wider affects of war.
hii this is the 2020 question for power and conflict right? x
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sarasara18
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(Original post by mayyee21)
hii this is the 2020 question for power and conflict right? x
yep it is
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djeuekej
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This is plagiarised. You have copied someone else’s work and plagiarised loads of parts for this. And this poem should not be about the effects of war
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Bc23
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(Original post by QueenEsther)
I'm not a teacher but this is a really strong answer!! I like how you brought context into it as it made your answer more thoughtful. Honestly, I don't see any faults. I would give you 28/30. Good luck on your exams
Can you please mark my work and tell me what I should improve. What grade would you give my work?
I chose Kamikaze as my second poem.

Compare how poets present the ways people are affected by difficult experiences in "Remains" and one other poem.


Both Remains and Kamikaze explores the reality of conflict and the long term impact this has on a person through the ways in which war strips away people's humanity, dehumanising them in order to turn them into weapons of war.

Both poems emphasise the reality of war through the soldier's challenging experiences.In the poem, Kamikaze, Garland examines the effect social pressures has on a person. When setting off on his mission the Kamikaze pilot is shown to have a "flask of water,a samurai sword…, a head full of incantations". The fact that the pilot had a "samurai sword" and a "shaven head" is used to indicate how deeply engraved samurai culture is with in the military which shows how he was expected to give up his life in order to fulfill his mission. The use of the word "incantations" suggests that the Kamikaze pilot is under a spell, which in this instance the "spell" that the pilot is under is the effects of psychological conditioning from patriotism and Japanese culture, this shows how the pilot is unable to make his own decisions. Garland uses the long listing sentence to reflect how immense social pressures were for the soldiers.Moreover, the listing sentence is presented in a matter of fact tone which shows the pilot's indifference to the assortment of cultural items. This implies that the pilot felt unwilling, and therefore was pressured, to join the military as the pilot doesn't seem to have a strong sense of patriotic duty for his country. The poet begins to expose the way in which people were coerced into joining the military and were expected to give up their identity and lives for the sake of their country. In a similar way, Remains demonstrates the effect of military expectations through the way soldiers lose their individuality. Armatige uses the image of the three soldiers to present the loss of soldiers individuality. The soldiers are never mentioned by name but are referred to as "three of a kind", this makes clear their loss of individuality and humanity as they have been stripped of the aspect of what makes them human - their names. Perhaps, Armatige could have also not given the soldiers a name to highlight how this one soldier affected by this but a collection of soldiers, especially as the poem was based on the experiences of real service men.The poet shows how war has made all soldiers to think the same way, suggesting that they become emotionless beings that suspect everyone being the enemy. Both poets expose the way in which soldiers are conditioned to serve the military with blind obedience and are treated as tools of war instead of human beings.

Both poems explore struggle through soldiers' life after conflict. Armatige portrays the way trauma affects an individual after war. In Remains the speaker states that "his blood-shadow stays on the street", after he returns home from war. The long vowel sounds in this line contrasts the short vowel sounds at the begin of the poem, which is used by the poet to reflect the way the imprint of the dead body lingers in the soldier's mind. The word "shadow" suggests that his experience at war is haunting, despite leaving Iraq and cleaning the literal blood shadow, the memory of him killing the dead looter has stayed with him. The word "shadow" could also be used to reference the darker part of the human psyche which suggests that the soldier has been completely changed by his experience. This idea is reinforced by the matter of fact tone which shows the speaker's lack of emotion and highlights how the soldier has been completely desensitised to the horrors of war. Armatige shows us how only after war, soldiers begin to consider the implications of their actions and the way soldiers are altered by PTSD they have suffered as a consequence of the conflict they fought in. This allows the reader to be aware of the impact of PTSD and allows the reader to begin to question the treatment of soldiers. Contrastingly to Remains, in which an individual is affected, in Kamikaze the poet presents the ways in which a family is affected by conflict.Garland presents this through the impact the Kamikaze pilot, by not completing his mission, had on the pilot's family as well as himself. Garland states that his family treated him as though he no longer existed". This quotation is used to highlight the theme of shame, the pilot brought shame and dishonour to him and his family as he didn't complete his mission. Garland shows us how the pilot's family has been completely destroyed by conflict as although the father is alive they can never acknowledge him. Garland has included four generations in the poem to emphasise the way this conflict will keep on affecting the family. The poet also demonstrates the impact of conflict has had on the pilot through the structure of the poem. Garland uses the third person omniscient narrator to emphasise how the pilot has been completely shunned by his family and society as the reader never gets to hear the story of the pilot through his own voice. Both poets explore the theme of shame-in Remains the soldier is seen as losing his sense of self and in Kamikaze the pilot has lost his family and place in society- to highlight that conflict has long lasting impacts on people, even through the initial conflict has passed it is still very difficult, and even impossible, for soldiers to adapt to normal life.

Both Remains and Kamikaze explore the intensity of guilt. Armatige clearly presents the soldier's guilt in the last line which states "his bloody life in my bloody hands". In this quotation, Armatige alludes to Shakespeare's character, Lady Macbeth. Lady Macbeth demonstrates guilt through the way she constantly sees blood on her hands. This image of Lady Macbeth is used to clearly convey the soldier's endless guilt as he too feels as though the possibly innocent looter's blood is constantly on his hands. The use of the possessive pronoun "my" is used to emphasise how the soldier feels completely responsible for the looter's death.This contrasts to the beginning of the poem where the collective noun "all" is used which suggests that the speaker is trying to shift the blame onto the other soldiers in order to reduce guilt and the painful memories that come with it.Armitage also uses the plosive "B" sound in "bloody", which functions almost like a physical punch to these painful memories as they pierce the conscience of the soldier and disrupt his every aspect of his life. This idea further alludes to the serious reality of soldiers suffering from PTSD and the huge impact this has on their life.This quotation coupled with the blood motif is used by the poet to demonstrate how the soldier can not remove the image of blood from his mind, and how the soldier's guilt will stain his soul forever; nothing, including substance abuse, can get rid of the metaphorical stain. Likewise, in Kamikaze, Garland clearly demonstrates the pilot's guilt in the last lines of the poem which states, "he must have wondered which had been the better way to die. ". By ending the poem with this quotation, Garland emphasises how the guilt from not carrying out his mission and dishonoring his family had an immense impact on the soldier. The use of the cesura at the end of the line could highlight the way in which the pilot feels trapped by his own guilt, as there isn't any enjambment which is sometimes used to signify freedom.The poet clearly demonstrates the way in which the pilot has been severely affected by guilt through how the pilot's guilt torments the pilot as he is left wishing that he had died as a Kamikaze instead of metaphorically dying.Both poems clearly highlight how guilt consumes a soldier as they are left to deal with conflicting emotions that haunt soldiers for the rest of their lives.

Both Armatige and Garland use structure to reflect an attempt to control conflicting emotions. In Kamikaze, Garland deliberately shifts from third person to first person in order to reflect the way the pilot's daughter tries to deal with her conflicting emotions about her father. This shift in narration from third person to first person acts as a volta and signifies a dramatic shift from external to internal, which shows how this is a personal memory for her.This suggests that the daughter is trying to empathise with her father, which allows some of the daughter's inner conflict to be eased.Where as, in Remains the soldier is less successful in controlling his conflicting emotions, this is shown by the couplet at the end of the poem.Armatige uses this irregular stanza at the end of the poem to perhaps reflect how the soldier is unable to control his PTSD, which suggests that the soldier has been permanently affected by his traumatic memories- he is unable to subdue his internal conflict and will continue to be tortured by his painful memories of war.

Overall, both poems clearly highlight guilt from war and the devastating ways in which people are affected by war.Kamikaze acts as a mouthpiece to ventriloquise and expose the reality for the Japanese soldiers through the consequences, on the individual as well as the community, behind not obliging to Japanese culture and expectations. While in Remains, Armatige warns society about the impact of war on the human psyche and the lasting effect it has on soldiers- as soon as the soldiers have finished serving their country they are discarded and left to deal with the devastating impacts on their own.
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