Meeting a guy for the first time ever- secret Pakistani girl.

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#1
So,

I’m a pakistani girl. My parents are pretty much against meeting guys, but they are okay with me being their friends? Weird, I know. How is this friendship meant to work.

It’s okay. I respect that though.

I have been speaking to guy for a while, I really like him. Other than the fact he’s abit younger than me, I like him. He’s been hinting to meet up for a while, I keep brushing it off. He’s directly asked me to meet him and I’ve agreed, but keep using work as a excuse. He said we can always meet after work and go for an evening takeaway and watch the sun set(romantic, I know). I have agreed to meet him at some point next week, if he is able to get work off.

How am I meant to meet this guy without my parents finding out?
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akragas
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#2
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#2
Your parents don't own you.
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sy!¡
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#3
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#3
perhaps say you’re meeting a friend (that’s a girl) as an excuse?
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Anonymous #1
#4
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(Original post by akragas)
Your parents don't own you.
(Original post by sy!¡)
perhaps say you’re meeting a friend (that’s a girl) as an excuse?
I have tried that, but the timing of going in the evening doesn’t sit right with them.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by akragas)
Your parents don't own you.
Maybe they do
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Foxehh
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Stop making excuses to the guy and tell him directly that your parents are strict about not seeing guys. He probably feels like you're brushing him off.

How old are you?
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Romcom101
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Be careful with someone you’re meeting for the first time and be cautious of his intentions when meeting you alone.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Foxehh)
Stop making excuses to the guy and tell him directly that your parents are strict about not seeing guys. He probably feels like you're brushing him off.

How old are you?
22!

He is aware of the situation and has even said he will come and ask my dad himself 😩
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Foxehh
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(Original post by Anonymous)
22!

He is aware of the situation and has even said he will come and ask my dad himself 😩
You're 22, your parents shouldnt be dictating over your life at your age... cant you move out?
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Cıllıan
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So,

I’m a pakistani girl. My parents are pretty much against meeting guys, but they are okay with me being their friends? Weird, I know. How is this friendship meant to work.

It’s okay. I respect that though.

I have been speaking to guy for a while, I really like him. Other than the fact he’s abit younger than me, I like him. He’s been hinting to meet up for a while, I keep brushing it off. He’s directly asked me to meet him and I’ve agreed, but keep using work as a excuse. He said we can always meet after work and go for an evening takeaway and watch the sun set(romantic, I know). I have agreed to meet him at some point next week, if he is able to get work off.

How am I meant to meet this guy without my parents finding out?
I wouldn’t condone lying as an option unless it was something majorly serious. And if they find out you lied they would make it even worse by never trusting you again.
If he's a good guy surely your parents wouldn't mind him coming over to get to know him or arranging something with them, as you said he's confident enough to ask your dad himself. But I'd recommend being 100% honest or you'll just increase their suspicions, like when you mentioned the evening timing to 'meet with a friend' doesn't sit right with them.
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Anonymous #1
#11
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#11
(Original post by Hosen410)
I wouldn’t condone lying as an option unless it was something majorly serious. And if they find out you lied they would make it even worse by never trusting you again.
If he's a good guy surely your parents wouldn't mind him coming over to get to know him or arranging something with them, as you said he's confident enough to ask your dad himself. But I'd recommend being 100% honest or you'll just increase their suspicions, like when you mentioned the evening timing to 'meet with a friend' doesn't sit right with them.
It doesn’t sit right with them because they don’t trust the area or anyone, barring my best friend and the fact.. he’s a guy. *sigh* they just don’t trust anyone girl or boy, family or not. They are aware I speak to him. I don’t want him to ask my dad as my parents will think there’s definitely more than friends situation going on.

I guess I can’t lie to them, but I also can’t tell them where I am going.
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Anonymous #1
#12
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(Original post by Foxehh)
You're 22, your parents shouldnt be dictating over your life at your age... cant you move out?
Move out? My family would see that as an insult. The pakisyani community is toxic. They’d make up the worst rumours. I could move in with my sister, but it’s difficult with her husband being there.
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akragas
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Move out? My family would see that as an insult. The pakisyani community is toxic. They’d make up the worst rumours. I could move in with my sister, but it’s difficult with her husband being there.
Move out to another city and you will be free.
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Anonymous #2
#14
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So,

I’m a pakistani girl. My parents are pretty much against meeting guys, but they are okay with me being their friends? Weird, I know. How is this friendship meant to work.

It’s okay. I respect that though.

I have been speaking to guy for a while, I really like him. Other than the fact he’s abit younger than me, I like him. He’s been hinting to meet up for a while, I keep brushing it off. He’s directly asked me to meet him and I’ve agreed, but keep using work as a excuse. He said we can always meet after work and go for an evening takeaway and watch the sun set(romantic, I know). I have agreed to meet him at some point next week, if he is able to get work off.

How am I meant to meet this guy without my parents finding out?
You parents don't own you. At all. Especially when you're a whole ass 22 years old, you need to learn to break free of this "I need my parents permission to dictate every little thing I do" mentality which I know isn't your fault that you think like that, but your parents somehow managed to drill it into you and make you believe is normal.

Why can't you tell them you're meeting your girl friends? The days are longer now, and lockdown is easing, so why should they even have a problem with you going out in the evening? Why are they trying to take away your freedom because they barely had any growing up?

Once you go out they can't stop you. If they come chasing after you or what not, they'll look like absolute fools.

+ You're only 22 once.
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sy!¡
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(Original post by Anonymous)
22!

He is aware of the situation and has even said he will come and ask my dad himself 😩
if he understands, then ask whether you can meet him during the daytime instead? then you can pretend to your family that you’re meeting a female friend

also i get you completely, i’m south asian too
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Genomics3235
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So,

I’m a pakistani girl. My parents are pretty much against meeting guys, but they are okay with me being their friends? Weird, I know. How is this friendship meant to work.

It’s okay. I respect that though.

I have been speaking to guy for a while, I really like him. Other than the fact he’s abit younger than me, I like him. He’s been hinting to meet up for a while, I keep brushing it off. He’s directly asked me to meet him and I’ve agreed, but keep using work as a excuse. He said we can always meet after work and go for an evening takeaway and watch the sun set(romantic, I know). I have agreed to meet him at some point next week, if he is able to get work off.

How am I meant to meet this guy without my parents finding out?
Hi
Personally if the guy really likes you I think its best if you keep it halal and ask him to get his parents to contact your family and I know it seems scary but you have to be open and honest from the beginning?
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Anonymous #1
#17
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(Original post by Genomics3235)
Hi
Personally if the guy really likes you I think its best if you keep it halal and ask him to get his parents to contact your family and I know it seems scary but you have to be open and honest from the beginning?
I told my parents, they know now!
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Anonymous #1
#18
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#18
(Original post by sy!¡)
if he understands, then ask whether you can meet him during the daytime instead? then you can pretend to your family that you’re meeting a female friend

also i get you completely, i’m south asian too
Girl, I’m meeting him.. in the day. Getting an Uber to the park because I don’t trust anyone’s driving lmao. But a park is so risky when I live in such a bait asian arwa
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Anonymous #1
#19
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#19
(Original post by Anonymous)
You parents don't own you. At all. Especially when you're a whole ass 22 years old, you need to learn to break free of this "I need my parents permission to dictate every little thing I do" mentality which I know isn't your fault that you think like that, but your parents somehow managed to drill it into you and make you believe is normal.

Why can't you tell them you're meeting your girl friends? The days are longer now, and lockdown is easing, so why should they even have a problem with you going out in the evening? Why are they trying to take away your freedom because they barely had any growing up?

Once you go out they can't stop you. If they come chasing after you or what not, they'll look like absolute fools.

+ You're only 22 once.
If only it could be that easy. 🙇🏽*♀️
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Anonymous #1
#20
Report Thread starter 3 months ago
#20
(Original post by Anonymous)
So,

I’m a pakistani girl. My parents are pretty much against meeting guys, but they are okay with me being their friends? Weird, I know. How is this friendship meant to work.

It’s okay. I respect that though.

I have been speaking to guy for a while, I really like him. Other than the fact he’s abit younger than me, I like him. He’s been hinting to meet up for a while, I keep brushing it off. He’s directly asked me to meet him and I’ve agreed, but keep using work as a excuse. He said we can always meet after work and go for an evening takeaway and watch the sun set(romantic, I know). I have agreed to meet him at some point next week, if he is able to get work off.

How am I meant to meet this guy without my parents finding out?
I don’t know know how to edit this, but update; I am meeting him soon, time permitting. Just going for a walk through nature. My dad knows that I’m off to meet a ‘friend’ which gives him a hint it’s not a female friend because I go by my friends names usually. He is fine if it is in a public place & I come back by 6!

Thanks for your help guys!’
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