'Wasted' 3 years of uni due to depression

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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
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I generally enjoy academics and uni seemed exciting but I've been severely depressed through most of it and been either stoic about it and got on with it or just been so deep in it I don't realise how bad it is because I forced myself to go through the motions. The whole 3 years have flown by and I feel I have nothing to show for it and no memories to look back on.

My first year seemed exciting at first but I soon realised I didn't get on with my flatmates (I'm usually quiet and am pretty clean while they enjoyed going out a lot and were pretty gross to say the least). I realise now living situation is very important to me and I should have let accommodation know and moved but alas, I didn't. I don't think I've ever been so depressed and anxious for so long. I had panic attacks almost every lecture, isolated myself from everyone but my partner and left all assignments until the last minute which is not like me at all.

Every summer I would go home and start getting a bit better and say this year will be different but it never has been.

My second year house was just as grim and our house just didn't do many things and kept to ourselves. Again I fell back into depression quickly because I didn't notice it was bad until it was too late. Same pattern with assignments.

I'm now nearing the end of my final year. I live alone this year which has actually been pretty nice, especially with covid. I really wanted to make this year nice even if I couldn't see the few friends I have but I dipped back into depression again. To top it off I've been so deep again from December to mid March that I'm essentially doing my dissertation two weeks before hand it and I hate myself for it so much.

I'm terrified of leaving education too which doesn't help. I wondered if anyone else has had a similar uni experience because I'm really beating myself up about it. I feel like if I'd have moved flats in my first year, my entire 3 years would be so different.
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kaiana
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Report 2 weeks ago
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Hey... First of all, uni isn't everything. I haven't finished uni yet but I also did not enjoy these years as much as I could have, so I was quite worried about that because everyone seems to think that uni is the best years in one's life, but that's not actually true for everyone! I know a friend who is now much happier within her working environment than she was at uni, so don't dwell on that! Do you currently have an accessible goal in life? (like "I want to go abroad for a year" or "I want to start my own business", something like that)
Last edited by kaiana; 2 weeks ago
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