h1miah
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How many marks would this be out of 9?
choose either an earthquake or a volcanic eruption. Assess the extent to which primary effects are more significant than secondary
effects. (9 marks)
The Haiti earthquake had a magnitude of 7.0. This was very devastating as the energy released from the tension between plate margins caused a massive effect in Port au Prince.
Due to As Haiti being LEDC (the quality of their infrastructure is of low quality and quite cheap thus most likely not being earthquake proof) the effects were greater. Primary effects of the earthquake included 220,000 people killed due to collapsing buildings and bridges and further 300,000 people injured. 1.3 million people were made homeless as 100,000 homes of the buildings were destroyed and further 200,000 homes were damaged and were not possible to live in. in addition 30,000 other buildings and 60% of government buildings were badly damaged and destroyed. This included hospitals therefore treating injured people was difficult. Moreover, the main prisons were destroyed, causing over 4,000 inmates to escape, which caused a massive problem for the law enforcement.
Secondary effects of the earthquake included to 2 million people being left without the necessities like food and water, this is because getting supplies into the Haiti was difficult as the main port was damaged, and the airports were not safe to operate. Also, the poor management of the situation caused delays in people receiving help. In addition, 1 in 5 people lost their job because so many buildings were destroyed, and Haiti’s largest industry of clothing was one of the worst affected. This meant the country economy suffered greatly and taxes paid were reduced leading to the government having less money to invest into rebuilding the country. Moreover, many people had to move into temporary shelters, which meant lots of people were craped leading to poor sanitation and health. Lastly due to the high number of deaths, many bodies were piled onto streets which meant diseases especially cholera became a serious problem, and by November 2010 there were cholera outbreaks.
In conclusion I believe primary effects to a big extent were more significant than secondary effects as most of the damages and death was caused due to the earthquake.
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Ðeggs
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The physical description of the earthquake is very poor. Magnitude 7.0 on what scale? What type of plate boundary is Haiti located on? What tectonic processes cause subduction and the accumulation and consequent release of pressure and friction that causes an earthquake? The first paragraph explains some basic statistics but does not substantiate or justify any statistic or give any supplementary or further explanation, therefore meaning the paragraph is weak. The descriptions you use are also very basic and generalised: "prisoners escaping causing problems for law enforcement, low quality infrastructure". What do you mean by this? Escaped inmates causing social crime, looting and vandalism? Disruptions to supply lines, unsanitary conditions, lack of locally trained medical professionals causes difficulties for hospitals, but you don't explain any reason why which limits your marks.

However, the second paragraph is much better with stronger and more specific arguments that are not generalised, as well as subsequent explanation and substantiations to the points you make. Such as loss of factories and the garment industry causing increased unemployment, loss of income and economic difficulties for low-income families, causing a reduction in government taxation, reliance on foreign aid and difficulty to reconstruct and redevelop infrastructure. The idea of cholera outbreaks is also reasonable, however you should explain the increasing spread of cholera due to high-density and cramped living conditions in refugee camps and damage to sewage infrastructure and water contamination.

Your conclusion is baseless and doesn't explain anything. What type of damage, infrastructural damage, economic damage, social fracturing and loss of families? Overall I would give this a 4/9. Your first paragraph gives some basic statistics for a mark, but does not further explain or substantiate your evidence meaning 1/4. Your second paragraph is much better as you give further explanation, but you could go into more detail about multiplier effects, meaning 3/4. Finally, your conclusion is very weak and unsubstantiated, I would expect maybe 2-3 sentences and the reiteration of the overall argument. No marks.
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laurawatt
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There’s lots of knowledge but not much analysis (what the facts+figures show and mean)
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h1miah
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#4
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(Original post by laurawatt)
There’s lots of knowledge but not much analysis (what the facts+figures show and mean)
Thank you
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h1miah
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#5
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(Original post by Ðeggs)
The physical description of the earthquake is very poor. Magnitude 7.0 on what scale? What type of plate boundary is Haiti located on? What tectonic processes cause subduction and the accumulation and consequent release of pressure and friction that causes an earthquake? The first paragraph explains some basic statistics but does not substantiate or justify any statistic or give any supplementary or further explanation, therefore meaning the paragraph is weak. The descriptions you use are also very basic and generalised: "prisoners escaping causing problems for law enforcement, low quality infrastructure". What do you mean by this? Escaped inmates causing social crime, looting and vandalism? Disruptions to supply lines, unsanitary conditions, lack of locally trained medical professionals causes difficulties for hospitals, but you don't explain any reason why which limits your marks.

However, the second paragraph is much better with stronger and more specific arguments that are not generalised, as well as subsequent explanation and substantiations to the points you make. Such as loss of factories and the garment industry causing increased unemployment, loss of income and economic difficulties for low-income families, causing a reduction in government taxation, reliance on foreign aid and difficulty to reconstruct and redevelop infrastructure. The idea of cholera outbreaks is also reasonable, however you should explain the increasing spread of cholera due to high-density and cramped living conditions in refugee camps and damage to sewage infrastructure and water contamination.

Your conclusion is baseless and doesn't explain anything. What type of damage, infrastructural damage, economic damage, social fracturing and loss of families? Overall I would give this a 4/9. Your first paragraph gives some basic statistics for a mark, but does not further explain or substantiate your evidence meaning 1/4. Your second paragraph is much better as you give further explanation, but you could go into more detail about multiplier effects, meaning 3/4. Finally, your conclusion is very weak and unsubstantiated, I would expect maybe 2-3 sentences and the reiteration of the overall argument. No marks.
Thank you for the feedback
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h1miah
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#6
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(Original post by Ðeggs)
The physical description of the earthquake is very poor. Magnitude 7.0 on what scale? What type of plate boundary is Haiti located on? What tectonic processes cause subduction and the accumulation and consequent release of pressure and friction that causes an earthquake? The first paragraph explains some basic statistics but does not substantiate or justify any statistic or give any supplementary or further explanation, therefore meaning the paragraph is weak. The descriptions you use are also very basic and generalised: "prisoners escaping causing problems for law enforcement, low quality infrastructure". What do you mean by this? Escaped inmates causing social crime, looting and vandalism? Disruptions to supply lines, unsanitary conditions, lack of locally trained medical professionals causes difficulties for hospitals, but you don't explain any reason why which limits your marks.

However, the second paragraph is much better with stronger and more specific arguments that are not generalised, as well as subsequent explanation and substantiations to the points you make. Such as loss of factories and the garment industry causing increased unemployment, loss of income and economic difficulties for low-income families, causing a reduction in government taxation, reliance on foreign aid and difficulty to reconstruct and redevelop infrastructure. The idea of cholera outbreaks is also reasonable, however you should explain the increasing spread of cholera due to high-density and cramped living conditions in refugee camps and damage to sewage infrastructure and water contamination.

Your conclusion is baseless and doesn't explain anything. What type of damage, infrastructural damage, economic damage, social fracturing and loss of families? Overall I would give this a 4/9. Your first paragraph gives some basic statistics for a mark, but does not further explain or substantiate your evidence meaning 1/4. Your second paragraph is much better as you give further explanation, but you could go into more detail about multiplier effects, meaning 3/4. Finally, your conclusion is very weak and unsubstantiated, I would expect maybe 2-3 sentences and the reiteration of the overall argument. No marks.
choose either an earthquake or a volcanic eruption. Assess the extent to which primary effects are more significant than secondary effects. (9 marks)

The Haiti earthquake had a magnitude of 7.0 on Richter magnitude scale. The earthquake occurred on a destructive plate margin between the Caribbean and North American plates. This was very devastating as the energy released from the tension between plate margins caused a massive effect in Port au Prince.

Due to As Haiti being LEDC (low quality infrastructure most likely not being earthquake proof) the effects were greater. About 220,000 people killed due to collapsing buildings and bridges and further 300,000 people injured. The main port was badly damaged along with the many roads blocked by fallen debris which disrupted transport of supplies. Eight hospitals and health centres collapsed or were badly damaged. Also lack of locally trained medical professionals caused difficulties in hospitals. Furthermore, the main prison was damaged causing 4000 inmates to escape and led to increased number of social crimes, looting and vandalism.

Secondary effects of the earthquake included to 2 million people being left without the necessities like food and water, this is because getting supplies into the Haiti was difficult as the main port was damaged, and the airports were not safe to operate. Also, the poor management of the situation caused delays in people receiving help. In addition, 1 in 5 people lost their job because frequent power blackouts due to broken gas pipe s and damaged electricity cable meant that businesses were forced to shut, and Haiti’s largest industry of clothing was one of the worst affected. This meant the country economy suffered greatly and taxes paid were reduced leading to the government having less money to invest into rebuilding the country. Therefore the government relied on foreign aid resulting in difficulty to reconstruct and rebuild the infrastructure. Lastly November 2010 there were cholera outbreaks due to damage to sewage infrastructure and contamination of water supply. Cholera spread rapidly due to high density and cramped living conditions with poor sanitation.

In conclusion I think secondary effects were much more significant as as it resulted in economic damage and social fracturing. Five years after the earthquake many people are still suffering. Even though many people died directly as a result of the earthquake the fact that people are still suffering and dying after a long time, suggest secondary effects were more significant.
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Ðeggs
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#7
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(Original post by h1miah)
choose either an earthquake or a volcanic eruption. Assess the extent to which primary effects are more significant than secondary effects. (9 marks)

The Haiti earthquake had a magnitude of 7.0 on Richter magnitude scale. The earthquake occurred on a destructive plate margin between the Caribbean and North American plates. This was very devastating as the energy released from the tension between plate margins caused a massive effect in Port au Prince.

Due to As Haiti being LEDC (low quality infrastructure most likely not being earthquake proof) the effects were greater. About 220,000 people killed due to collapsing buildings and bridges and further 300,000 people injured. The main port was badly damaged along with the many roads blocked by fallen debris which disrupted transport of supplies. Eight hospitals and health centres collapsed or were badly damaged. Also lack of locally trained medical professionals caused difficulties in hospitals. Furthermore, the main prison was damaged causing 4000 inmates to escape and led to increased number of social crimes, looting and vandalism.

Secondary effects of the earthquake included to 2 million people being left without the necessities like food and water, this is because getting supplies into the Haiti was difficult as the main port was damaged, and the airports were not safe to operate. Also, the poor management of the situation caused delays in people receiving help. In addition, 1 in 5 people lost their job because frequent power blackouts due to broken gas pipe s and damaged electricity cable meant that businesses were forced to shut, and Haiti’s largest industry of clothing was one of the worst affected. This meant the country economy suffered greatly and taxes paid were reduced leading to the government having less money to invest into rebuilding the country. Therefore the government relied on foreign aid resulting in difficulty to reconstruct and rebuild the infrastructure. Lastly November 2010 there were cholera outbreaks due to damage to sewage infrastructure and contamination of water supply. Cholera spread rapidly due to high density and cramped living conditions with poor sanitation.

In conclusion I think secondary effects were much more significant as as it resulted in economic damage and social fracturing. Five years after the earthquake many people are still suffering. Even though many people died directly as a result of the earthquake the fact that people are still suffering and dying after a long time, suggest secondary effects were more significant.
Much much better, definitely 9/9. Only thing of concern to me is your punctuation and sentence structure could be improved a little bit but I think it’s more due to typing your answer online. Well done
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