When is too soon to say 'I love you'?

I know the typical answer would be like 3-4 months, but we were friends first and liked each other since October (but we got together at the end of Jan, and it's the beginning of April now). I think I might do, I've had to stop myself from saying it a few times, but we're so young (17) so you could easily say that we don't know what love is? Thoughts appreciated. Ta x

Reply 1

Wannabevetnurse

20

you can say "love you" or other variations, just to let your feelings be expressed or if you both feel the same just say I love you.

I said it to my first girlfriend, 2 months in.

Reply 2

iamthicccccc1405

18

Whenever it feels like its the right time

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Wannabevetnurse

you can say "love you" or other variations, just to let your feelings be expressed or if you both feel the same just say I love you.

I said it to my first girlfriend, 2 months in.

Original post by iamthicccccc1405

Whenever it feels like its the right time

but how do I know whether it's the right time? How do I know if she feels the same? She's very reserved, introverted, and private, and I worry I'd scare her off. I know they're just words, but words have power ://

Reply 4

Outdated Mind

8

The earliest time one could say it is one their first date. However, it depends on the two individuals and how they feel. It could be perceived as sweet or creepy af, because we are all different. But, I would never say this to someone I had merely met.

Reply 5

Zarek

21

Generally said way before you can be sure you mean it

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

See but neither of us can know how we'll be in te future I think? Like we fit so well together, I'm sure we will be together, but there's no way of knowing now?? Also I think it's different when you're close friends first, bc there's the platonic love as a separate thing and I have never known how to delineate between them? I'm such a mess aha I'm worried she's waiting for me to say it because that was the reason it took us so long to get together (like I say, she's more reserved than I am, but that's not to say that I'm not)

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

UPDATE: I said it in a midnight flurry. It felt right, I don't know. She didn't say it back, but she wasn't shocked or mean and actually continued our conversation of adoration and general niceness. So I feel slightly like a fool now, but it's done. She had said everything but that, she said we were a match made in heaven earlier today. And my mind is anxious about her feelings about me at the best of times, so this certainly hasn't helped. But it's fine. I'd rather she said it and meant it.

Reply 8

Lxttie02

11

Original post by Anonymous

UPDATE: I said it in a midnight flurry. It felt right, I don't know. She didn't say it back, but she wasn't shocked or mean and actually continued our conversation of adoration and general niceness. So I feel slightly like a fool now, but it's done. She had said everything but that, she said we were a match made in heaven earlier today. And my mind is anxious about her feelings about me at the best of times, so this certainly hasn't helped. But it's fine. I'd rather she said it and meant it.

Saying I love you is a big commitment, especially if you two are each others first boyfriends and girlfriend. Don't be anxious about her not saying it at all when the time is right for her she will say it. You know by bf hasn't said it to me yet and it been months, but I know he struggles with barriers so you know. you two sound strong and happy and that's all that matters.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Lxttie02

Saying I love you is a big commitment, especially if you two are each others first boyfriends and girlfriend. Don't be anxious about her not saying it at all when the time is right for her she will say it. You know by bf hasn't said it to me yet and it been months, but I know he struggles with barriers so you know. you two sound strong and happy and that's all that matters.

That's true, thank you. She seemed to take it well, but she did take four minutes to reply with three words and I'm just worried that I've scared her off or made a fool of myself. I worry so much about her liking me less than I like her, and it's just scary because I can't ascertain what's going on in her head. Of course, this was all over text, because pandemic, which makes everything twenty times more difficult. Sigh. Thanks :smile:

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Lxttie02

Saying I love you is a big commitment, especially if you two are each others first boyfriends and girlfriend. Don't be anxious about her not saying it at all when the time is right for her she will say it. You know by bf hasn't said it to me yet and it been months, but I know he struggles with barriers so you know. you two sound strong and happy and that's all that matters.

That's true, thank you. She seemed to take it well, but she did take four minutes to reply with three words and I'm just worried that I've scared her off or made a fool of myself. I worry so much about her liking me less than I like her, and it's just scary because I can't ascertain what's going on in her head. She did say that it was a "wonderful, beautiful, amazing thing" but that doesn't mean that?? I don't know man. Of course, this was all over text, because pandemic, which makes everything twenty times more difficult. Sigh. Thanks :smile:

When is too soon to say 'I love you'?

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