How do I stop reminiscing the past?

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Anonymous #1
#1
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Lately I’ve found myself thinking so much about my past and how much I loved it. I feel inadequate in my current happiness yet I have everything I ever wanted. I’m studying at my dream uni, got my dream internship, the perfect friends and I’m so close with my family. I am so blessed. But why do I find myself longing for my past? I’m 20, going to be 21 next month. Is this how adulthood feels like? Will I always miss my past and will I ever be as happy as I was during my teenage years?
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Anonymous #2
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Probably, tbh. I can't say I reminisce about my teenage years, but I have never been as happy as I was in sixth form and I doubt I even will be. Coming from someone who is nearly 30.
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Anonymous #3
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With mindfulness and meditation.

Mindfulness trains you to stay focused on the present and to be less judgemental.

Meditation shows you how most thoughts are pointless and intrusive.
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Rockmeteller
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I went through a period of feeling like that, so I completely understand what you’re going through. The problem is, our memory often idealises the past. I found myself reminiscing about how happy I was in the sixth form recently, and even though I do have good memories, I had to remind myself that on a day to day basis I was actually tired and frustrated and yearning for school to end. So, at the end of an individual day I used to feel fairly negative, but now that I’ve moved on my brain focuses on all the good bits, which skews my perception.
I think everyone does this to an extent, and not just for their childhood - probably at some point in the future, you’ll look back at the time of life you’re in now with longing too! Try just to make the most of each day and focus on your life in the present rather than dwelling on times gone by. I also advise trying to work out if there are any specific elements that you miss from your past? When I did this, I realised that a key component of my childhood happiness was the sense of wonder and possibility I felt, which was subdued when I got older. So, I have tried to re-ignite my old excitement for learning new things and being creative, and that helped.
Happiness is not limited to youth. I hope you get through this soon! It is definitely possible.
Last edited by Rockmeteller; 2 weeks ago
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Probably, tbh. I can't say I reminisce about my teenage years, but I have never been as happy as I was in sixth form and I doubt I even will be. Coming from someone who is nearly 30.
That’s sad to hear but against all odds, I do hope you once again find the happiness you had in sixth form. I know things have changed but hopefully you will have a new type of happiness
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
With mindfulness and meditation.

Mindfulness trains you to stay focused on the present and to be less judgemental.

Meditation shows you how most thoughts are pointless and intrusive.
Thank you so much. I will try to embed meditation & mindfulness into my life
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neal95
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just box it up and continue...focus on the day to day and before you know it you dont think of it anymore, thats what works for me anyway. As long as you focus on self improvement and personal responsibility then you will always be progressing
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Rockmeteller)
I went through a period of feeling like that, so I completely understand what you’re going through. The problem is, our memory often idealises the past. I found myself reminiscing about how happy I was in the sixth form recently, and even though I do have good memories, I had to remind myself that on a day to day basis I was actually tired and frustrated and yearning for school to end. So, at the end of an individual day I used to feel fairly negative, but now that I’ve moved on my brain focuses on all the good bits, which skews my perception.
I think everyone does this to an extent, and not just for their childhood - probably at some point in the future, you’ll look back at the time of life you’re in now with longing too! Try just to make the most of each day and focus on your life in the present rather than dwelling on times gone by. I also advise trying to work out if there are any specific elements that you miss from your past? When I did this, I realised that a key component of my childhood happiness was the sense of wonder and possibility I felt, which was subdued when I got older. So, I have tried to re-ignite my old excitement for learning new things and being creative, and that helped.
Happiness is not limited to youth. I hope you get through this soon! It is definitely possible.
This was so lovely to read, thank you! I definitely do think I am idealising my past, there were many sad moments which I’m glad are over, now that I’m thinking about it...& in regards to your question on whether there’s specific elements I miss, I think I know what it is I’m missing. My ex was a big part of my life, throughout my teens he was always there by my side. I guess I always thought I’d end up with him. We broke things off almost 2 Summers ago now. Yet apart of me still longs for him? It’s hard to forget someone who you spent so much of your life with. I think maybe this is what I need to focus on healing from thank you for your overall advice, I will take it on board & also I’m glad you brought me to the realisation of what’s truly holding me back!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by neal95)
just box it up and continue...focus on the day to day and before you know it you dont think of it anymore, thats what works for me anyway. As long as you focus on self improvement and personal responsibility then you will always be progressing
Thank you for your advice
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neal95
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you for your advice
your welcome Anonymous #1 its not always easy, but it works, i find. stay strong
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