Affection in public
So i been wiv my bf for 5 months and we met in college
he shows affection alot even when we sit together in lesson he would rest his head on my shoulder or put his leg on top of mine or even at lunch in carteen he would do the same or ask for a kiss before he goes and we would be in an open area with people around
But the thing is i cant do it even wiv mates on the table i sometimes feel that person might feel uncomfortable or awkward i struggle to show it in front of others but when its just me and him i can
He has thought i was embarrassed of him or ashamed but i guess i learned from parents my mum and her bf can't even hug or kiss when im around everytime i walk in on them hugging they soon back away and feel embarrassed so i felt i had to be like that too and my mum and dad wasnt specifically together as well and split when i was too little to remember and their relationship was abusive
And my bfs parents are both married and stuff like that and he obviously followed his parents steps and hes very honest hasnt got a problem saying i love you and etc but i do i struggle with that and coz of this i feel maybe this is why he feels i treat him more like a friend
Need advice
he shows affection alot even when we sit together in lesson he would rest his head on my shoulder or put his leg on top of mine or even at lunch in carteen he would do the same or ask for a kiss before he goes and we would be in an open area with people around
But the thing is i cant do it even wiv mates on the table i sometimes feel that person might feel uncomfortable or awkward i struggle to show it in front of others but when its just me and him i can
He has thought i was embarrassed of him or ashamed but i guess i learned from parents my mum and her bf can't even hug or kiss when im around everytime i walk in on them hugging they soon back away and feel embarrassed so i felt i had to be like that too and my mum and dad wasnt specifically together as well and split when i was too little to remember and their relationship was abusive
And my bfs parents are both married and stuff like that and he obviously followed his parents steps and hes very honest hasnt got a problem saying i love you and etc but i do i struggle with that and coz of this i feel maybe this is why he feels i treat him more like a friend
Need advice
Maybe tell him to stop distracting you in lessons so you can learn to spell 'with'.
Original post by Anonymous
Maybe tell him to stop distracting you in lessons so you can learn to spell 'with'.
Ngl he’s got a point.
Reassure him that you're not at all ashamed of him, but that you feel uncomfortable showing affection in public. It's perfectly reasonable - everyone feels their own way about PDA.
Original post by Anonymous
Maybe tell him to stop distracting you in lessons so you can learn to spell 'with'.
Its my slang got problems with how i speak than get a life and focus more on yourself than others. Cheers
Have you told him all this? I'd hope if you explained he'd be understanding, given your family history.
Original post by becausethenight
Have you told him all this? I'd hope if you explained he'd be understanding, given your family history.
Not much of it i just said i wasnt used to this as its my first proper relationship
This is Britain. We are not used to expressing emotion in public. Hence PDAs are sometimes frowned upon.
Original post by Anonymous
Not much of it i just said i wasnt used to this as its my first proper relationship
It might be worth having a proper conversation about it, and making it very clear that you're not embarrassed or ashamed of him, but have real issues with PDA?
Ultimately, he shouldn't force you do anything you're not comfortable with, but it can be good to talk about if so he knows you're aware of his feelings and care about making him feel heard as well.
(edited 3 years ago)
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