Girlfriend mentioned another mans penis size

Insecure is also when you get upset when your girlfriend tells you what's on her mind. And it just so happens to be an anecdote about seeing another man's penis.

As I've already said in this thread, go read the Nancy Friday books on women's sexual fantasies.
Women have all sorts of rich fantasies. That's fine. It's just the way that they are. They can be thinking about all sorts of things when having sex. Again that's fine.
As men, the most secure way to deal with these fantasies is to accept them and not make a big deal about them.

It's totally fine of her to volunteer this anecdote just after they had sex. To say that it isn't is to be insecure.

Insecure is also when you get upset when your girlfriend tells you what's on her mind. And it just so happens to be an anecdote about seeing another man's penis.

As I've already said in this thread, go read the Nancy Friday books on women's sexual fantasies.
Women have all sorts of rich fantasies. That's fine. It's just the way that they are. They can be thinking about all sorts of things when having sex. Again that's fine.
As men, the most secure way to deal with these fantasies is to accept them and not make a big deal about them.

It's totally fine of her to volunteer this anecdote just after they had sex. To say that it isn't is to be insecure.


It's natural for her to gaslight in this situation. Because she just told you what was on her mind and you reacted in a way that she didn't expect. Her defense mechanisms were up. She was in the middle of a stressful situation.

Also, on the lies. Everybody lies. When the frequency and nature of the lies are not too bad, lies are entirely forgiveable.
I never expect anyone to be 100% honest with me. We all have situations where our defenses go up and we find ourselves lying automatically.

I think that in all this so far, you have been thinking about this rather selfishly. And you've not been seeing it enough from her point of view. I think it would be better if you showed her more empathy towards her over this.

If my girlfriend told me the same anecdote in the same circumstances my repsonse would be along the lines of laughing and saying "That's weird. How did you feel about this?" And depending on what she told me, I'd tell that it's perfectly fine and normal for her to have a rich set of sexual fantasies.

He’s being selfish? Are you ****ing mad.

Why the **** would she want to fantasise about someone else?

Women are trash.

You’re so ****ing clapped lol

So because she mentioned another blokes penis in front of you, you felt bad? Oaky... She then apologised and.... what you’re still mad? 😂 Dude grow up, she even said your the same size, it was after sex chat and yeah it wasn’t great convo but she even apologised after you fought with her about it. Which by the way is so pathetic like man If just because your girl mentioned another blokes **** ,that she saw on a phone in front of you, is enough to break up with her then you need therapy for self esteem issues not advise on TSR. God dude I mean girls have mentioned **** In front of me before because here’s a bit of knowledge ive learnt, girls don’t actually like **** that much, not the same ways guys like tits or anything. She wasn’t make post sex convo, sex involving ***** so hence where the convo relates and you didn’t like it. She apologised, frankly im gonna side with your girl here, I wouldn’t have made my girl apologise over something soo trival but whatever she did so anyway and this point if you “cant forgive” 😂 then she’s better off without a whiny weak man like yourself.

Lmao you try and call him weak but your anonymous aswell

Whether or not I’m weak won’t change the fact he’s weak, sorry but that’s just fact man. He’s the one crying that his girl has a penis possibly bigger then his lmao 😂

Yes.

You are being massively over insecure.

Read the Nancy Friday books on women's sexual fantasies.

The size of you penis and his penis makes no more difference than the size of your feet compared to his.

Your penis is going inside her vagina, not his.
It's what you do with your penis, fingers, hands, tongue that counts, not the size.
Your girlfriend was being relatively open and honest when she told this anecdote and you've responded to her honesty by giving her a hard time. That's unfair on her. You should have given her a hug and peck on the lips or cheek or forehead and "Thanks for sharing that with me."

You are not in some penis size competition. You never are. It doesn't matter if your penis is the size of a tiny carrot.
And even if it did matter a little bit - the nature of the relationship with your girlfriend is of far more importance than the size of your penis. Your response to this totally triffling and unimportant revelation of hers has soured your relationship.

Your girlfriend has done nothing wrong - as far as we know. It's not like she put his penis between her lips. What she did was the equivalent of looking at porn or a stripper.

So what should do now? Tell her you've had a think about things and sorted yourself out and that you're grateful that she shared this anecdote with you. And give her a big hug and make love to her in a special way (for her) next time you go to bed with her.
And then put it all behind you and forget all about it.

Self secure men are attractive.
Secure men never get phased by their penis size compared to others.

To the OP, I doubt she was oblivious of what she was doing. She wanted to see your reaction (i.e., whether you'd react insecurely or not). That's why she continued to go into detail about it. Girls do this kind of thing all the time, basically to test you to see where your boundaries are, how assertive you are, whether you have weak qualities like insecurity, jealousy, etc., and how much she can get away with.

In terms of practical advice, in those situations you can give zero reaction, i.e., totally ignore her as if it's the most boring subject in the world, as if what she's saying isn't even registering with you. Non-reaction is a pass, and it's easy to do. You can also just start talking about something else. If she's really insistent about it for some reason, you can say something like, "you're really weird sometimes, you know?" Then just change the subject.

Of course there are other approaches as well if you want them. Another way is to make fun of her, as if she said something ridiculous you can tease her about. In this case you could say, "[gf's name] and [guy's name]'s ****, sitting in a tree, ...". The point is you're completely unfazed and unthreatened by the idea of her liking another guy's ****.

Similar to that is making light of yourself, which works cause she's testing your insecurities. If you can make light of yourself then it shows you're not insecure about it. It'd be the same if she joked about you being short or bald or something. If it's about your **** you could say, "I thought you loved my cute little pea pod?" (That made me laugh lol). The actual size of your **** is irrelevant, the point again is that it shows you're totally unfazed.

Finally, if you judge what she did to have crossed a line, there's the option to lay down the law, e.g. by telling her (deadly seriously), "if you're gonna disrespect me to my face by telling me how much you like another guy's ****, you'd better also be willing to accept the consequences." That's really only for things you feel completely cross your boundaries, but it's up to you what those are. Needless to say, you've gotta be prepared to break up with her if she doesn't stop right there. This is the most powerful one, and somewhat counter-intuitively might leave her feeling much more secure in her relationship with you, because when she prodded you to see how soft you were, you were a rock. Still, not advisable to use it except for the really serious stuff.

Well Id say it isnt a reliable source since it's wirtten by a women so it could be biased

ok fine Men have fantasies too and that means next time if he tells his gf what's on his mind she has no right ot be upset ye?

Your literally waffling so much just accept the Woman was wrong this situation wow surprise women can be wrong!!

I do not know.
It is as if women have all the rights to be mean to males. But as soon as a man do the same thing to them, then he is a monster.
And to justify that meanness, they say women do it all the time to see if you are true man a man worthy it...
What is that kind of mindset?

Okay let's have men be mean to women, make them pass fu¢k tests to see if they are worth it.

What do they think men are? Some emotionless machine?

Evidently you’ve never been in a relationship. I used to be the same as you in that sense until i learnt what it’s like to have an emotional connection to someone, it’s not a joke.
I can guarantee you unless you’ve already been in a 1000 relationships already and your numb, that a girl is going to hurt you at least once in your life, please message me directly once this has happened and I’ll also then proceed to tell you that you’re crying and being weak.

If you think me reacting badly to disrespect is me being weak then that’s your opinion/analysis. I’m actually trying to look PAST this heavy disrespect.

Hi OP.
I am sorry you went trough something like that.
You have the right to be upset. Because we all know that if it was about a man comparing his girlfriend breasts and arse size to another women much more endowed, we all know what would happen.
What she did was wrong, even if she apologised. No one has the right to play with a person insecurities wether they are male or female.

I do not know why women think they can be mean all they want to a man, and just say that they are making you pass a fu¢k test to see if you are a man.
What is that?

Yes.

You are being massively over insecure.

Read the Nancy Friday books on women's sexual fantasies.

The size of you penis and his penis makes no more difference than the size of your feet compared to his.

Your penis is going inside her vagina, not his.
It's what you do with your penis, fingers, hands, tongue that counts, not the size.
Your girlfriend was being relatively open and honest when she told this anecdote and you've responded to her honesty by giving her a hard time. That's unfair on her. You should have given her a hug and peck on the lips or cheek or forehead and "Thanks for sharing that with me."

You are not in some penis size competition. You never are. It doesn't matter if your penis is the size of a tiny carrot.
And even if it did matter a little bit - the nature of the relationship with your girlfriend is of far more importance than the size of your penis. Your response to this totally triffling and unimportant revelation of hers has soured your relationship.

Your girlfriend has done nothing wrong - as far as we know. It's not like she put his penis between her lips. What she did was the equivalent of looking at porn or a stripper.

So what should do now? Tell her you've had a think about things and sorted yourself out and that you're grateful that she shared this anecdote with you. And give her a big hug and make love to her in a special way (for her) next time you go to bed with her.
And then put it all behind you and forget all about it.

Self secure men are attractive.
Secure men never get phased by their penis size compared to others.

He's the one upset that his gf is a inconsiderate c*nt lol, so how about you shut your ****ing mouth, honestly you type of people thrive off of others feeling ****

That's just not true. It depends on the girl. I was at a party this weekend and a girl was talking about how important penis size is to her. While talking about it she even related that she once accidentally saw a guy with a "micro penis" and literally threw up. It might not matter to all girls but it matters to some girls and to varying degrees.

He’s being selfish? Are you ****ing mad.

Why the **** would she want to fantasise about someone else?

Women are trash.

You’re so ****ing clapped lol

Well Id say it isnt a reliable source since it's wirtten by a women so it could be biased

ok fine Men have fantasies too and that means next time if he tells his gf what's on his mind she has no right ot be upset ye?

Your literally waffling so much just accept the Woman was wrong this situation wow surprise women can be wrong!!

I understand what your saying but why should that be normalised? Just because I’m a male therefore means I’m not allowed to feel a way about a certain situation?One that would diminish a lot of males ego and dignity my bad I’m not emotionally numb and I wish I was mentally conditioned enough as you to brush off what she said but I’m not, I really wish I was my guy but from a moral sense, it doesn’t change the fact that I was disrespected. Despite how I’ve taken it, there’s morally things you don’t say in relationships, and in life in general. It brings me back to the fact that I DIDNT ASK. I really really didn’t ask. But I will check out that book

Dude
I usually agree with ur posts but imma have to disagree with this one.
He's no being insecure at all, if she'd said it once, as a passing comment, maybe that would've been better but the fact she kept going on and on about it is very damaging.
I doubt she'd like it if OP mentioned how tight his girl mate's pussy is

Yes women have sexual fantasies, yes it was his penis going in to her but for all he knows she might've been thinking about the other dude's penis whilst they were having sex. He is not being insecure at all.

This is what I mean. If the roles were reversed, especially in my situation, I’d be labelled emotionally abusive etc. Men that play with women the same way they play with us, get labelled abusive, manipulative, controlling.. the list doesn’t end.

Idk tbh I lost brain cells reading some replies cuz u literally see girls get pissed when u like a models pic