Feel like I have to have a bad ED before I can start recovery/accept myselfWatch
I don’t have an ED, i defo have disordered eating though. But i feel like i can’t accept myself/work towards accepting myself until i’m literally underweight, i’m not underweight currently and i’m not that close to being underweight either. but most ppl who talk about bodi posi do still have the idea body type (ofc they’re still allowed to have insecurities im not denying that) so i feel like i can’t accept myself at my current weight bc i still have fat etc
TLDR: everyone seems to start body acceptance already being skinny, i don’t feel like i can accept myself until i’m skinny rather that accepting my body how it is now
You wouldn't wait for a cancer to develop in severity before you treat it, or for an infection to spread before you administer antibiotics. No matter how far along your ED appears physically, MENTALLY it's an illness that needs intervention and treatment and the earlier you get that the better your chances of recovery. You are more than worthy and deserving of recovery, you're not weird for feeling this way. Also, if you are struggling with an ED/Anorexia....you won't ever think you're thin enough to deserve treatment. That's what makes it deadly. People don't get to underweight and maintain, they keep going regardless of a BMI of 23, 20, or 14.
Remember your ED started in your mind before your physical body, it's an illness more than just physically being thin. You deserve to heal your mind and relationship with yourself too.
As someone with anorexia, it will only make it harder for you if you end up with an eating disorder.