Great relationship with mum but feel like everyone likes her more than me.

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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 1 week ago
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So me and my mum get along really well we are basically best friends. (She’s not a regular mum she’s a cool mum)
We do a lot together, the gym, nights out (rarely but sometimes) and we basically know all of the same people
This is nice but also really knocks my confidence as she has a big personality, gets on with everyone, is outgoing and confident and is hilarious whereas I’m kind of the opposite when I’m around her? I know this probably makes no sense but I just can’t be myself around other people when my mum is around because she likes to bring up things I’ve said later on and laugh at me like ‘why did you say that’ and then it makes me really insecure so now when I’m around people with her I’m really quiet

I also look really young for my age which doesn’t help me trying to make friends with other adults the same age as me which is so frustrating! I have 3 best mates and I met them all as kids, I feel like I’ve made no friends as an adult

So now because me and mum are together a lot of the time people don’t really know me that well because I’m not as outgoing and don’t talk as much when I’m with her but they still know me to say hello. The frustrating thing is, no matter who it is, when I see someone and I’m not with my mum they always ask where she is or what she’s doing or why she’s not at the same place. For example I was at the gym and the first thing the instructor asked was where my mum was. And then the the next day I was at the gym without her again and she didn’t acknowledge me At all.

It’s nice that people care about her but it makes me feel like I’m not a person without her I just feel like people only talk to me because of my mum and it’s so annoying.

The boy I had a crush on for a year turned out to actually have a crush on my mum. Now he says he likes me but I could never go there because I just think surely he’s only doing that to get closer to her . That’s how bad it is.

My friends always mention her or ask about her, people at the gym always ask about her, and I know for a fact that when it’s mum alone without me, nobody asks where I am or How I am because nobody cares.

I know this sounds so ridiculous!!! Even typing it I’m hearing how stupid it is but it’s really getting me down, I just don’t feel like I’m a person at all, nobody cares how or where I am if I’m not around, nobody asks me about me, I just don’t know what to do. I feel like it’s ruining my relationship with my mum because I just feel so insecure when I’m with her now.
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BohemianPhysics
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#2
Report 1 week ago
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Try to join groups without your mum (new hobby?) to get more validation of yourself as a person and help you feel good

Talk to your Mum and tell her you feel...... when she says/ does..... so that she can see the problem and change

Ask your Mum for tips or for her to be your 'wingwoman' in conversations if she's a natural.

Even if nobody asks how you are you can tell them.

Striking up a conversation is best if you ask the other person about themselves. That should help with the anxiety in general.

If they're already considering you 'the kid' then you've got nothing to lose by trying to make conversation. It could go wrong but won't ruin anything.
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