Is my boyfriend lying?

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itissnowing
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We have been together for 2.5 years and are both 30. This last year we have been arguing more due to COVID lockdowns and I have struggled not seeing him. The first year of the relationship was brilliant. Very recently, we went through a period of not talking for a few weeks. I noticed one day he had liked his female friend's pictures (who is also a part time model).... one of these is a sultry selfie and I felt there was no need for him to do it. I probably felt even more insecure since we weren't talking as it is. I almost felt like him liking it during a period of us not talking was shady. Over this last year he has liked a few of her other pictures (mostly selfies, even though she posts other things) and again these likes are all during periods when we weren't getting on.

We started following each other on instagram in January 2019. We were official from November 2018. I scrolled further down and noticed that he had liked inappropriate pictures of hers in November and December 2018. Then as soon as I started following him he stopped. He stopped for a year, then continued again when our arguments started. Maybe this was subconscious.I have discussed this with him multiple times over the last few days. At first, I went mad after seeing the recent likes. He kept telling me I was crazy. A few days later, however, he told me he understood and that he'd stop liking female friends' pictures. He reiterated the same point, that they are just likes and there is nothing else behind it. He felt I was accusing him of cheating, but I told him I wasn't...that I just felt insecure and wanted reassurance. I didn't tell him exactly whose pictures were bugging me. Then yesterday, I still felt down about it and I sent him one of the pictures (from 2 years ago). I asked him why else he'd like a picture of her sexually posing in a tight fitted red dress with a thigh split, other than the fact it's a hot picture. He said that's not the reason why, and it's the same reason why he likes a lot of instagram pictures. He didn't feel it would matter this much to me, but again he understood where I was coming from. He said it won't happen again.

I went on her instagram today. He's removed all his likes from her inappropriate pictures while we have been together, and has kept the rest (pictures other than selfies). I kind of feel like it would have been great for him to not have liked them in the first place. The fact that he knew which ones to remove shows that he knows exactly which ones would have bugged me.

I am struggling with the fact that when I started following him he stopped, so surely he knew it would have been a problem for me. Could he be telling the truth about his reasons behind liking these pictures?
Last edited by itissnowing; 5 days ago
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Bethan.rowley
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I have to agree with your boyfriend. This does seem pretty crazy and controlling ngl. I would never dream of reacting this way over an ig post especially at 30 years old. Is this some kind of social experiment??
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ShybutHi
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This is a bit of an example why I think social media is just not good for some people. It can make some people paranoid and such, cause anxiety.

There is nothing really wrong unless the liking gets really often or you know they are having a lot of conversation. The alarm bells should perhaps go off then. It does seem a little controlling, particularly if you are 30.

At the same time though, I'm mid 30's just for context, and I wouldn't go liking women's photos just by default. This is mainly because of the fact it could potentially cause concern... After all, in the end what is really the purpose of doing so? Unless they are good friends of course and want to show the person support.
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itissnowing
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(Original post by ShybutHi)
This is a bit of an example why I think social media is just not good for some people. It can make some people paranoid and such, cause anxiety.

There is nothing really wrong unless the liking gets really often or you know they are having a lot of conversation. The alarm bells should perhaps go off then. It does seem a little controlling, particularly if you are 30.

At the same time though, I'm mid 30's just for context, and I wouldn't go liking women's photos just by default. This is mainly because of the fact it could potentially cause concern... After all, in the end what is really the purpose of doing so? Unless they are good friends of course and want to show the person support.
Nice to hear your perspective, thank you. I know I need to delete my social media, but I also currently need it for events research.
The girl in question is his friend, well more acquaintance. And he does like a lot of pictures on instagram, whereas I don't. So I guess our views of instagram likes really differ..
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mqb2766
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Tbh, in previous posts you seem to be confused about whether you have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Id sort that out first.
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IlikeDonerKebab
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“Ugnngh that lying little runt”
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