telling her how I feel before meeting up

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Anonymous #1
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I’ve been talking to this girl for a month now , but I’ve think I’ve lost interest in her . We are meeting up for the first time next week, shall I just wait till after the date ?
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Zarek
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I think it would be fairer and marginal less upsetting to cancel before rather than let her prepare for the date
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HoldThisL
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depends on whether you think you've lost interest or are more certain
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Zarek)
I think it would be fairer and marginal less upsetting to cancel before rather than let her prepare for the date
What if after meeting her I grow an attraction?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by HoldThisL)
depends on whether you think you've lost interest or are more certain
What do you mean ? More certain on what
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MMtrapzz
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(Original post by HoldThisL)
depends on whether you think you've lost interest or are more certain
I aint holding no L
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sorry that it had nothin to do with the topic
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Dunnig Kruger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’ve been talking to this girl for a month now , but I’ve think I’ve lost interest in her . We are meeting up for the first time next week, shall I just wait till after the date ?
How people are in real life and how they are in person can be very different things.

Different in how they look, how they talk, what sort of character and personality they have.

Go ahead and meet her. And take things from there. That is, unless you have a queue of other women waiting to meet you, all of whom seem better at this stage than this one?

It makes most sense to keep any positive or negative feelings to yourself. Because they may well be based mainly on how you imagine her to be. Which may be different to how she actually is.
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Zarek
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(Original post by Anonymous)
What if after meeting her I grow an attraction?
Then it might be worth giving it a shot. Although my experience is that if there’s not enthusiasm at the outset it’s unlikely to get anywhere
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’ve been talking to this girl for a month now , but I’ve think I’ve lost interest in her . We are meeting up for the first time next week, shall I just wait till after the date ?
have either of you previously admitted "feelings" for each other?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
have either of you previously admitted "feelings" for each other?
No we haven’t. It’s only been a month, we made other types of plans with each other since we have a lot of interests but that’s it
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HoldThisL
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(Original post by Anonymous)
What do you mean ? More certain on what
more certain on whether or not you've lost interest in her or just 'think' you have

what did you think i mean, the current season of whatever you're watching on netflix?
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HoldThisL
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(Original post by MMtrapzz)
I aint holding no L
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sorry that it had nothin to do with the topic
it was also totally unoriginal ya donut
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
No we haven’t. It’s only been a month, we made other types of plans with each other since we have a lot of interests but that’s it
maybe just send her a message her asking about where you two stand ? so she won't feel as taken back after the date.
It seems a bit unfair to just drop such a thing after having a date.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
maybe just send her a message her asking about where you two stand ? so she won't feel as taken back after the date.
It seems a bit unfair to just drop such a thing after having a date.
Sorry for the constant replies 😫, but how would I ask this ? Like how would I phrase the question
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Sorry for the constant replies 😫, but how would I ask this ? Like how would I phrase the question
start off by saying that you have enjoyed talking to her and that you are looking forward to meeting her. Then ask her where she thinks your relationship lies and if you truly aren't interested, say that you are only ready for a friendship right now. If you two have a lot of interests then maybe you can just be good friends.
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Dunnig Kruger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
maybe just send her a message her asking about where you two stand ? so she won't feel as taken back after the date.
It seems a bit unfair to just drop such a thing after having a date.
Starting a "What are we?" conversation with her is a very bad idea.

Because it will come over as desperate, needy and lacking in confidence on your part.
And it will put her under too much pressure.
And it's impossible for either of them to know where they are because they haven't met and spent time together in real life yet.

Such a conversation would only increase the chances of them never meeting. That is not the aim of the game. The aim of the game is for them to meet in real life and see how they get on.

Meeting someone for an evening that leads to nowhere is still far better than staying at home watching Netflix or playing on your X-Box. So that meeting her has no downsides. It only has upsides.

The general frame for the meeting should be that the main thing is that they both have an enjoyable time. And as long as that happens, it is not the end of the world if they never meet again after that.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
Starting a "What are we?" conversation with her is a very bad idea.

Because it will come over as desperate, needy and lacking in confidence on your part.
And it will put her under too much pressure.
And it's impossible for either of them to know where they are because they haven't met and spent time together in real life yet.

Such a conversation would only increase the chances of them never meeting. That is not the aim of the game. The aim of the game is for them to meet in real life and see how they get on.

Meeting someone for an evening that leads to nowhere is still far better than staying at home watching Netflix or playing on your X-Box. So that meeting her has no downsides. It only has upsides.

The general frame for the meeting should be that the main thing is that they both have an enjoyable time. And as long as that happens, it is not the end of the world if they never meet again after that.
I suppose everyone is different. I am a girl and would prefer someone to be upfront, rather than taking me on a date and then have them message me that they aren't interested.
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ROTL94
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I think you should take a chance and meet her. Things may be very different when you're in the same physical place, might feel more of a connection or might extinguish it, you don't know until you try.
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Anonymous #1
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Thank you everyone ! x
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