what does sex feel like?

Watch
interstellaaa
Badges: 5
Rep:
?
#1
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#1
a serious question from a virgin
0
reply
Amy M
Badges: 8
Rep:
?
#2
Report 1 week ago
#2
I can’t speak for a male, as I’m female, but,

It’s a very odd experience, its not really like anything else, for the sheer fact its such intimate contact. You might feel a little vulnerable because you’ll be in the position of being completely unclothed (or not, your choice,) but that is entirely normal. I found that so long as you’re in a safe environment, its more peaceful. Communication is key, it might feel a little uncomfortable or overwhelming so make sure you feel comfortable enough to be able to say how you feel throughout it. For me, it wasn’t so much painful as ‘pressure’ down there for the first minute, but it wasn’t too uncomfortable. I asked for everything to be slow at the beginning just so i got used to the motions. Also, i know its hard, but try not to go in with a lot of expectations on yourself or around it in general, confidence comes with practice, if its a bit stop-start, that’s okay, don’t worry, so long as you’re comfortable and wanting to continue, laugh it off and continue. Don't be afraid to ask questions or anything. Also don’t worry about noises, they happen, they’re perfectly normal. Sex is not the same as porn, so everything is far more natural, if you don't feel like moaning, or making much noise, don’t worry, you really don’t have to. Its a very primal thing so as well as listening to each other, listen to your body as well.

And afterwards,

Please pee, its really important you do regardless of whether a condom was used or not (I would advise protection always)

Also, Just because you are a virgin does not mean you have to go with the motions if you don't want to or that it may lead to regret afterwards. If you explicitly want to have sex with a condom on or anything like that, and the partner doesn’t, you don't have to have sex still for fear of offending them. Its your body and it’s yours to do with and protect how you see fit.
0
reply
Wannabevetnurse
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#3
Report 1 week ago
#3
(Original post by Amy M)
I can’t speak for a male, as I’m female, but,

It’s a very odd experience, its not really like anything else, for the sheer fact its such intimate contact. You might feel a little vulnerable because you’ll be in the position of being completely unclothed (or not, your choice,) but that is entirely normal. I found that so long as you’re in a safe environment, its more peaceful. Communication is key, it might feel a little uncomfortable or overwhelming so make sure you feel comfortable enough to be able to say how you feel throughout it. For me, it wasn’t so much painful as ‘pressure’ down there for the first minute, but it wasn’t too uncomfortable. I asked for everything to be slow at the beginning just so i got used to the motions. Also, i know its hard, but try not to go in with a lot of expectations on yourself or around it in general, confidence comes with practice, if its a bit stop-start, that’s okay, don’t worry, so long as you’re comfortable and wanting to continue, laugh it off and continue. Don't be afraid to ask questions or anything. Also don’t worry about noises, they happen, they’re perfectly normal. Sex is not the same as porn, so everything is far more natural, if you don't feel like moaning, or making much noise, don’t worry, you really don’t have to. Its a very primal thing so as well as listening to each other, listen to your body as well.

And afterwards,

Please pee, its really important you do regardless of whether a condom was used or not (I would advise protection always)

Also, Just because you are a virgin does not mean you have to go with the motions if you don't want to or that it may lead to regret afterwards. If you explicitly want to have sex with a condom on or anything like that, and the partner doesn’t, you don't have to have sex still for fear of offending them. Its your body and it’s yours to do with and protect how you see fit.
Do you think it's better if there is protection both sides. So if the man uses a condom and the woman uses the birth pill (although I know that the birth pill has some effects on the mental health of the user)
0
reply
Amy M
Badges: 8
Rep:
?
#4
Report 1 week ago
#4
(Original post by Wannabevetnurse)
Do you think it's better if there is protection both sides. So if the man uses a condom and the woman uses the birth pill (although I know that the birth pill has some effects on the mental health of the user)

I am not on the pill myself, but I practice cycle tracking (its this device that you insert up there every morning and it measures your fertility- ie ovulation, on days close to ovulation, the day, and the days after- we don't have sex as its the window most at risk for becoming pregnant. It only works if you are strict and don't have sex during this time. Ive used if for 5 years now) When we do have sex we use condoms, ALWAYS.

Its a really personal decision, and it really differs from woman to woman, I personally tried 4 pills and my body couldn’t tolerate hormones (id get severe migraines due to my generalise anxiety disorder and it made them way worse). If you want to go on birth control, I would read as much as you can from trusted, accurate and up-to-date sources, factor in lifestyle factors like:

Family history- any blood-clots etc
Smoking
Weight
Mental health - would it effect you if you gained weight on it, or make any mental health conditions worse?
If you are a forgetful person- 3hrs out of allocated time and you’re at risk of pregnancy etc


It is a decision only you can make and shouldn’t be influenced by anyone else. For instance I had a partner before who wanted me to go on the pill because he didn't want to wear a condom all the time (lazzzyyyyy) and I put my foot down. That is not uncommon unfortunately, and it boils down to them being lazy or selfish or not knowing how to properly use a condom.

Wee tips if you want to have to keep:

Never bite a condom rapper to take it out of the protective packaging as it might tear.

Have both latex and latex free options in the off-chance you have a guy round and he says “im allergic” (its a rare allergy, but some guys take advantage of it and use it as an excuse not to wear one) This way you can ensure there is protection to be used.

When taken out - it’s important to make sure it looks like a pointy top hat with the tip happily sitting out- if its sorta falling in on itself or the point isn’t up correctly- its the wrong way round and doesn’t provide protection. - it might be better to have durex condoms as the packaging has the durex logo on one side- durex side down = good top hat = right way to be put on. They have latex and latex free condoms- they cost a tiny bit more, but honestly- safety first. Let’s not risk STI’s or an unwanted pregnancy- 50p extra is worth it 😂.

WATCH HIM PUT IT ON - It sounds incredibly odd, but there are so many instances of a thing called “ghosting” where you consent to protected sex, and a guy appears to have a condom on - but he intentionally rips, pierces, takes off, does not apply it properly in order to have unprotected sex. That, by law is rape. Remember you explicitly consented to protected sex, and if he jeopardises that protection, it is a criminal offence. If you watch him put it on, or even if you do it (some guys like that - confidence is sexy) you’ll have that peace of mind you’re being safe.

Dont be afraid to PM me if you’ve something more personal to ask, but i hope that helped you hun x
1
reply
Wannabevetnurse
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#5
Report 1 week ago
#5
(Original post by Amy M)
I am not on the pill myself, but I practice cycle tracking (its this device that you insert up there every morning and it measures your fertility- ie ovulation, on days close to ovulation, the day, and the days after- we don't have sex as its the window most at risk for becoming pregnant. It only works if you are strict and don't have sex during this time. Ive used if for 5 years now) When we do have sex we use condoms, ALWAYS.

Its a really personal decision, and it really differs from woman to woman, I personally tried 4 pills and my body couldn’t tolerate hormones (id get severe migraines due to my generalise anxiety disorder and it made them way worse). If you want to go on birth control, I would read as much as you can from trusted, accurate and up-to-date sources, factor in lifestyle factors like:

Family history- any blood-clots etc
Smoking
Weight
Mental health - would it effect you if you gained weight on it, or make any mental health conditions worse?
If you are a forgetful person- 3hrs out of allocated time and you’re at risk of pregnancy etc


It is a decision only you can make and shouldn’t be influenced by anyone else. For instance I had a partner before who wanted me to go on the pill because he didn't want to wear a condom all the time (lazzzyyyyy) and I put my foot down. That is not uncommon unfortunately, and it boils down to them being lazy or selfish or not knowing how to properly use a condom.

Wee tips if you want to have to keep:

Never bite a condom rapper to take it out of the protective packaging as it might tear.

Have both latex and latex free options in the off-chance you have a guy round and he says “im allergic” (its a rare allergy, but some guys take advantage of it and use it as an excuse not to wear one) This way you can ensure there is protection to be used.

When taken out - it’s important to make sure it looks like a pointy top hat with the tip happily sitting out- if its sorta falling in on itself or the point isn’t up correctly- its the wrong way round and doesn’t provide protection. - it might be better to have durex condoms as the packaging has the durex logo on one side- durex side down = good top hat = right way to be put on. They have latex and latex free condoms- they cost a tiny bit more, but honestly- safety first. Let’s not risk STI’s or an unwanted pregnancy- 50p extra is worth it 😂.

WATCH HIM PUT IT ON - It sounds incredibly odd, but there are so many instances of a thing called “ghosting” where you consent to protected sex, and a guy appears to have a condom on - but he intentionally rips, pierces, takes off, does not apply it properly in order to have unprotected sex. That, by law is rape. Remember you explicitly consented to protected sex, and if he jeopardises that protection, it is a criminal offence. If you watch him put it on, or even if you do it (some guys like that - confidence is sexy) you’ll have that peace of mind you’re being safe.

Dont be afraid to PM me if you’ve something more personal to ask, but i hope that helped you hun x
Thank you for all this information...it's actually very helpful

But I'm a guy....also a virgin. I'm always gonna use condoms, unless we want kids and stuff (later on but yeah) but I just wanted to know if it's better to have one sided protection or two sided.

You know what you said about "ghosting"...what if I don't know how to properly put it on? We've been taughty, on a dildo, but a dildo, is very different to an actual penis. If I put it on wrong, and she gets pregnant, does it become my fault?
0
reply
Amy M
Badges: 8
Rep:
?
#6
Report 1 week ago
#6
(Original post by Wannabevetnurse)
Thank you for all this information...it's actually very helpful

But I'm a guy....also a virgin. I'm always gonna use condoms, unless we want kids and stuff (later on but yeah) but I just wanted to know if it's better to have one sided protection or two sided.

You know what you said about "ghosting"...what if I don't know how to properly put it on? We've been taughty, on a dildo, but a dildo, is very different to an actual penis. If I put it on wrong, and she gets pregnant, does it become my fault?

Firstly in regards to consensual sex it takes two to make a baby- so in that sense fault isn't really here. If there’s an accident- remember there’s the morning after pill that she can take.

They range in price - £30 being the highest but I’ve had Boots’ own and it is the exact same thing. Taking it within 12 hours of the exposure will help prevent a pregnancy, it can be taken up to 72hrs after, but the longer the wait, the less protection it offers. She will have to be assessed privately in a consultation room in the pharmacy (atm its a questionnaire cause covid) and they ask questions about her cycle, the time it happened, any protection used, if she’s on any medication, if it was consensual etc. They then after taking everything into consideration will provide her the most suitable pill. They cannot prescribe it out to anyone but her so if you two want to go together- she will still need that wee consultation. Its not scary, its not intrusive and they’re lovely. After an accident you both can still be responsible afterwards.

Ifs she’s on birth control and misses a day she can still take the morning after pill, or if she’s on antibiotics or has an upset stomach and doesn’t miss a pill, she’s still at risk. If she has vomiting or trouble down below it can sometimes result in her daily pill not working - so that’s why a condom acts as a better self-defence, plus it also acts as the only protection against STI’s.

Accidents happen like, but you could always try firstly just putting them on when you’re hard- learning the technique, getting used to the feel. Ghosting has to have the intentional element to satisfy as an offence, if it is a pure accident, it’s unfortunate but not a crime so don’t worry about the fear of that. But I would definitely recommend trying to become more familiar with putting them on- even if its just while watching porn. The more familiar the easier it will be and it can take a couple of practices- better to be safe.
1
reply
Anonymous #1
#7
Report 1 week ago
#7
(Original post by Amy M)
And afterwards,

Please pee, its really important you do regardless of whether a condom was used or not (I would advise protection always)
why?
0
reply
Amy M
Badges: 8
Rep:
?
#8
Report 1 week ago
#8
(Original post by Anonymous)
why?
For a female especially (but males too), sex is filled with close contact, and bacteria will easily be transferred down there, regardless of how clean both people are, and we each have a urinary tract which that bacteria can end up in after sex (by any contact like oral, anal, fingers etc) because the urinary tract is so close to the vagina in females, it’s really easy for a UTI (Urinary Tract Infection) to happen. Peeing as soon as possible after sex allows any bacteria in the tract to be flushed out, reducing the chances of infection occurring. Both genitalia have quite a small area for everything to be going on so just keep in mind hygiene practices like peeing after in mind x


Signs of a UTI (both men and women) can include

Dark and/or smelly urine - or urine very different from normal.

Blood in urine

Nausea, lower stomach pain

Temperature

Almost always pain when urinating.

As it is an infection a GP appointment is needed as they need to prescribe antibiotics to treat it, if untreated it can become quite serious quite quickly.


Some people can be prone to UTI’s despite keeping great hygiene practices, it’s called Cystitis, and there is a thing called D-mannose which is pure cranberry extract which the sugars attract any bacteria and help flush them out in urine. Its cheap in pharmacies like Holland & Barrett.

I’d recommend that over buying just cranberry juice in tescos (a lot of girls drink it but you need to drink so much liquid just to get enough d-mannose and its really sugary and can cause other issues like diarrhoea).

Little tips for prevention:

1. Gentle wash beforehand- remember ladies - PH balance- nothing too fragranced as it causes problems like BV and Thrush down there.

Do not use perfumes, deodorants or fragranced wipes down there for this reason- they dry you out, cause irritation and if Mother Nature wanted it to smell like a rose - it would smell like a rose. They cause more harm than good.

For guys- strong fragrances down there can also cause you to have irritation and thrush. Also spraying is not the same as cleaning.

2. Afterwords- pee as soon as possible, and after wiping with plain toilet paper, its a good idea to just get a few squares of toilet paper and dampen them with cold water and give yourself a wee freshen up (its soothing and safe) to help clean up regardless of a condom being used (remember condoms in the UK are not made to be sterile and can therefore have some bacteria).


Hope this helps xx

If anyone has any other worries or questions, don’t be afraid to PM me because I know it’s quite an overwhelming thing x
0
reply
ItZm3aUtUmN!
Badges: 5
Rep:
?
#9
Report 1 week ago
#9
(Original post by Amy M)
I can’t speak for a male, as I’m female, but,

It’s a very odd experience, its not really like anything else, for the sheer fact its such intimate contact. You might feel a little vulnerable because you’ll be in the position of being completely unclothed (or not, your choice,) but that is entirely normal. I found that so long as you’re in a safe environment, its more peaceful. Communication is key, it might feel a little uncomfortable or overwhelming so make sure you feel comfortable enough to be able to say how you feel throughout it. For me, it wasn’t so much painful as ‘pressure’ down there for the first minute, but it wasn’t too uncomfortable. I asked for everything to be slow at the beginning just so i got used to the motions. Also, i know its hard, but try not to go in with a lot of expectations on yourself or around it in general, confidence comes with practice, if its a bit stop-start, that’s okay, don’t worry, so long as you’re comfortable and wanting to continue, laugh it off and continue. Don't be afraid to ask questions or anything. Also don’t worry about noises, they happen, they’re perfectly normal. Sex is not the same as porn, so everything is far more natural, if you don't feel like moaning, or making much noise, don’t worry, you really don’t have to. Its a very primal thing so as well as listening to each other, listen to your body as well.

And afterwards,

Please pee, its really important you do regardless of whether a condom was used or not (I would advise protection always)

Also, Just because you are a virgin does not mean you have to go with the motions if you don't want to or that it may lead to regret afterwards. If you explicitly want to have sex with a condom on or anything like that, and the partner doesn’t, you don't have to have sex still for fear of offending them. Its your body and it’s yours to do with and protect how you see fit.
I'm A virgin but I want to have sex with my bf but I to nervous to do it with him?
And how do you know if you are pregnant
0
reply
Amy M
Badges: 8
Rep:
?
#10
Report 1 week ago
#10
(Original post by ItZm3aUtUmN!)
I'm A virgin but I want to have sex with my bf but I to nervous to do it with him?
And how do you know if you are pregnant
Okay for nerves, stop googling everything 😂, I know it’s difficult but because its such an individual experience, it really doesn’t do any other than scare you.

If you’re too nervous to have sex with him, ask yourself is it because of having sex with him or sex in general, because if its sex in general I think you need to wait till you’re ready.

In terms of pregnancy, there are lots of options to protect you beforehand, but there is always the morning after pill that helps prevent that (it is a emergency contraceptive so its not for regular use).

Pregnancy is a worry, however so long as you’re always safe you shouldn’t have that as a main focus.

Id say in order to stop sex being such an area of mystery, you should learn to feel what is comfortable for you, get to learn what works for you and what you might enjoy. If you want to have sex with your boyfriend you need to communicate with him about it, talk about it all as a couple, it is a vulnerable thing so you need to be comfortable being able to voice any concerns or questions you might have with him, you might find he’s just as nervous.

Sex takes a couple of people, so its always important to make sure both people can feel as comfortable as possible, about anything that might be an issue x
Last edited by Amy M; 1 week ago
0
reply
howitoughttobe
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#11
Report 1 week ago
#11
(Original post by ItZm3aUtUmN!)
I'm A virgin but I want to have sex with my bf but I to nervous to do it with him?
And how do you know if you are pregnant
Missing your period is usually the first sign that you are pregnant
0
reply
srbryant
Badges: 8
Rep:
?
#12
Report 1 week ago
#12
(Original post by Amy M)
I am not on the pill myself, but I practice cycle tracking (its this device that you insert up there every morning and it measures your fertility- ie ovulation, on days close to ovulation, the day, and the days after- we don't have sex as its the window most at risk for becoming pregnant. It only works if you are strict and don't have sex during this time. Ive used if for 5 years now) When we do have sex we use condoms, ALWAYS.

Its a really personal decision, and it really differs from woman to woman, I personally tried 4 pills and my body couldn’t tolerate hormones (id get severe migraines due to my generalise anxiety disorder and it made them way worse). If you want to go on birth control, I would read as much as you can from trusted, accurate and up-to-date sources, factor in lifestyle factors like:

Family history- any blood-clots etc
Smoking
Weight
Mental health - would it effect you if you gained weight on it, or make any mental health conditions worse?
If you are a forgetful person- 3hrs out of allocated time and you’re at risk of pregnancy etc


It is a decision only you can make and shouldn’t be influenced by anyone else. For instance I had a partner before who wanted me to go on the pill because he didn't want to wear a condom all the time (lazzzyyyyy) and I put my foot down. That is not uncommon unfortunately, and it boils down to them being lazy or selfish or not knowing how to properly use a condom.

Wee tips if you want to have to keep:

Never bite a condom rapper to take it out of the protective packaging as it might tear.

Have both latex and latex free options in the off-chance you have a guy round and he says “im allergic” (its a rare allergy, but some guys take advantage of it and use it as an excuse not to wear one) This way you can ensure there is protection to be used.

When taken out - it’s important to make sure it looks like a pointy top hat with the tip happily sitting out- if its sorta falling in on itself or the point isn’t up correctly- its the wrong way round and doesn’t provide protection. - it might be better to have durex condoms as the packaging has the durex logo on one side- durex side down = good top hat = right way to be put on. They have latex and latex free condoms- they cost a tiny bit more, but honestly- safety first. Let’s not risk STI’s or an unwanted pregnancy- 50p extra is worth it 😂.

WATCH HIM PUT IT ON - It sounds incredibly odd, but there are so many instances of a thing called “ghosting” where you consent to protected sex, and a guy appears to have a condom on - but he intentionally rips, pierces, takes off, does not apply it properly in order to have unprotected sex. That, by law is rape. Remember you explicitly consented to protected sex, and if he jeopardises that protection, it is a criminal offence. If you watch him put it on, or even if you do it (some guys like that - confidence is sexy) you’ll have that peace of mind you’re being safe.

Dont be afraid to PM me if you’ve something more personal to ask, but i hope that helped you hun x
how dose one know when the are ready to have sex for the first time
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#13
Report 1 week ago
#13
how dose on know when they are ready to have sex
0
reply
Amy M
Badges: 8
Rep:
?
#14
Report 1 week ago
#14
Well in all honesty, I think the first thing to fully consider, is in terms of fully understanding sexual consent and the consequences sex can have (pregnancy STI’s). Not just the basic elements, I mean fully understanding the responsibility sex can have.

Sex is just an act. Its the emotional elements that matter, that make you ready to want it, to know you’re ready. It is one of those few times where you are completely vulnerable, honest with nowhere to hide. Just you and that person, and that feeling can be a bit much for some people, if it is for you, it might be better to wait. Some people have trouble with the idea of being nervous the first time (which is so normal) and id say if you cant be comfortable with newness or the idea of being quite open, it might be better to wait.

Virginity isn't a personality trait or something undesirable to try and get rid of.

Equally sex isn’t something to go into with idea of “good ive had sex to say I have” or “I got that over with”

Sex can be incredibly enjoyable and a liberating experience, but at the end of the day, it can be an incredibly emotional experience. Not emotional in the sense of it has to be with love (it doesn’t) but emotional in the sense that it involves listening to yourself, your worries, your emotions. If your gut tells you you’re not ready, you probably are not.

Sex isn't a race, or some game with winner and loser. Everyone has their own pace, and you should act accordingly to your own.
Last edited by Amy M; 1 week ago
0
reply
Anonymous #3
#15
Report 1 week ago
#15
It's like being in a moshpit of naked obese people until you wet yourself.
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

What factors affect your mental health the most right now?

Anxiousness about lockdown easing (59)
4.57%
Uncertainty around my education (199)
15.43%
Uncertainty around my future career prospects (143)
11.09%
Lack of purpose or motivation (183)
14.19%
Lack of support system (eg. teachers, counsellors, delays in care) (58)
4.5%
Impact of lockdown on physical health (72)
5.58%
Loneliness (114)
8.84%
Financial worries (45)
3.49%
Concern about myself or my loves ones getting/having been ill (59)
4.57%
Exposure to negative news/social media (59)
4.57%
Lack of real life entertainment (68)
5.27%
Lack of confidence in making big life decisions (113)
8.76%
Worry about missed opportunities during the pandemic (118)
9.15%

Watched Threads

View All
Latest
My Feed