Why can't guys see what's right in front of them?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#1
Obviously I'm not talking about all guys. But every guy I have met that I feel like I was good enough for, doesn't see me long term, I'm either a friend or a casual fling.

I'm not perfect at all, I do have my flaws and things I could improve upon and I know that, but I also know I'm a good person, I'd do anything for anyone, I care maybe too much, and I put others before myself. I go out of my way to make people happy. This is what every guy I've met claims they want, but when I try and give it to them, they don't want it.

I know people may say maybe they're not attracted to me physically, and that might be true, i don't expect to be everyone's cup of tea. But I don't view myself as unattractive, I take care of myself, go to the gym, eat well etc.

I just don't understand it. Why they can't see what's right in front of them. Then months pass and sometimes they realise what they've lost and come back.
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2003a39
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#2
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It's likely the type of guy you're into, they are probably blind in a sense to what's being laid in front of them.
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Ammyp1011
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These guys are confused focus on yourself sis the right guy won’t make you question your worth.
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FluffyAkitaBoy
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Don't go out of your way to make anyone happy who doesn't also give you the same vibes and doesn't also do the same for you. Trust, there are guys out there who will appreciate your kindness and will reciprocate.

But it's not a bad thing being viewed as a friend. Some guys won't find you attractive and that's life. It's also not a bad thing to have casual flings unless they manipulate you with lies.
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londonmyst
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Where did you meet these ex bf's?
What type of dating dealbreakers do you have in terms of: physical type, personality, age, family background,income and employment?
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candydiva
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#6
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Wat is that about every guy u "feel" u r "good enuf for"?! Y aren't u good for any range of guys, all guys, until u and he know btr?!

U r seeking in the wrong places, it's clear.
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one_two_three
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When you say that they see you as either a friend or a casual fling, what did you set it up as? If you go into something setting the basis as a fling or a benefits situation then why would they see it as anything else? My advice would be to flirt with someone, make them want you a bit before you give them anything back and give it time to get to know each other personally rather than a focus on the physical, which a fling tends to be.
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the_pharaoh
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Obviously I'm not talking about all guys. But every guy I have met that I feel like I was good enough for, doesn't see me long term, I'm either a friend or a casual fling.

I'm not perfect at all, I do have my flaws and things I could improve upon and I know that, but I also know I'm a good person, I'd do anything for anyone, I care maybe too much, and I put others before myself. I go out of my way to make people happy. This is what every guy I've met claims they want, but when I try and give it to them, they don't want it.

I know people may say maybe they're not attracted to me physically, and that might be true, i don't expect to be everyone's cup of tea. But I don't view myself as unattractive, I take care of myself, go to the gym, eat well etc.

I just don't understand it. Why they can't see what's right in front of them. Then months pass and sometimes they realise what they've lost and come back.
Ok you genuinely sound like a very nice girl the type someone would want long term however maybe these guys aren't looking for smthn long term it doesn't neccassarily have anything to do with you so basically your looking at the wrong guys
Last edited by the_pharaoh; 1 week ago
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Dunnig Kruger
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Work on fixing your flaws. Continuously.
Work on strengthening / maintaining your good points too.

Try to avoid being too helpful and too loving too soon, as that comes across as desperate / needy.

Your favours and your love should be given most to those that deserve it the most.

Do what you can to increase the quantity of men that you meet. And, if possible the quality of men that you spend time with.

Have the frame that you are assessing them at least as much as they are assessing you. IE don't feel that you have to demonstrate or tell them what a wonderful person you are in order to win them over. Let them discover your good points over time, naturally.
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