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I was accused of sexual assault

Three days ago, I was at a party sitting on a couch designed for 2 people. There is 3 of us on the couch. Its tight. Little space for our backsides. Now the guy in the middle is a friend of 8 years. We havent spoken much for the past year but before that we spoke regularly and closely and the other person is my friend as well. My friend is leaning on the guy in the centre and so am i on his shoulders. I have drunk a few shots but not enough to be not be all to recall my memories. I spoke with them on the couch and i didn't slur my words at the time. A fourth guy comes to sit on the couch so you can imagine that its even tighter. We basically sitting in a circle as well. a few of us.

Anyway two days later im told the guy in the middle lets call him paul says that i grabbed his bum when he went to stand up in front of everyone essentially. I asked the people on the couch what do they recall and they supported my story that all i did was lean on his shoulder. So after hearing all of that i went to go ask Paul why did he say that and if its true etc.
Paul denied accusing me of sexual assault and agreed that i never did that and told me that he doesnt know why they thought he said that. However he said that he felt uncomfortable cos i was squeezing him. Obvs i dont want to victim blame but i dont understand why he couldnt just tell me that the couch is too tight and i need to move esp since hes so extroverted etc. He then said that i rested my upper body onto his lap and purposely put my arm near (NOT on top of or at but just near) his pen@s and he felt even more uncomfortable. Which again no one recalls but even then i feel like hes just sexualised it (im gay) cos the couch was tight so i dont understand why he was so alarmed that my arm/elbow was near his p as well. Cos i just feel like it was coincidental rather than intentional. Again i dont know why he didnt just tell me to move my arm if it was in an awkward position. He then said i rubbed his back when he leant forward (this was the part where he said i grabbed his bum even tho he denies saying that to my friends). He also argued that i was overly touchy but when i asked him to elaborate he said i only did the above.
He also said that it was not a big deal to which i responded that he shouldn't downplay the severity of what is being said to have happened.
So i apologised, told him that i did not intend to make him feel uncomfortable and then i said that he should be aware of what i recall and i recalled my version of events. He told me that i shouldn't have recalled my version of events in my apology and that i should educate myself on sexual violence. Yet he lied to my friends to make it seem like i was an aggressive predator who went out of my way to inappropriately touch him by blatantly saying i grabbed his bum and then later denying it.
hes blocked me when i said that i didnt mean to offend him but i thought it was be respectful for you to hear my side of events from me rather than from gossip. So now i cant defend myself without harassing him and he said personally that it isnt a big deal and doesnt care at all but i dont want this to come back and bite me in the future or for it to turn out that I have traumatised my ex-friend.
I dont know what to do now. I apologised but that did not go well and hes blocked me. I just feel like the way i behaved is being sexualised when it wasnt intended in that way.

What should i do?
You've done all you can. You've talked it out, gathered evidence that supports you and have apologised for your actions if Paul felt uncomfortable. If you haven't grabbed him inappropriately, there's nothing more you can do. Not to victim blame but he could have said he didn't feel comfortable and either of you could have stood up - not the best thing to say ik but it's something that could've been stopped there and then. Try to put it to the back of your mind and focus on your work, family and friends. If your actions were read as something else and you have apologised and said you didn't intend to make them uncomfortable then that is all you can do. The fact he blocked you when you gave your side of the story shows that he just doesn't want to hear it. You've done all you can do and I hope everything else is okay :smile:

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