BF going to different uni

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 months ago
#1
Hi
just wondering if anyone else is going to uni this year but their bfs/gfs are going somewhere else? I am going to miss him so so much but I just want to know what peoples opinions are on it and how to make sure I can still see him etc
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Dunnig Kruger
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#2
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It's better to set each other free on the day you go off to uni. So that you are both free agents. So that you can both live uni life to the full and get maximum benefit from it.

Whilst being free agents you can still keep on good terms with him - if he's up for that, and he doesn't have sour grapes.

It's generally a big mistake to try to prolong 6th form relationships into your time at uni. Because there are so many wonderful people that you can both meet at uni. And cramping your social life is a bad thing.

Live in the here and the now.
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Surnia
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People's opinions on what part of him going to uni? It sounds like you expected to both go to the same place and that's not a good idea; you should choose your uni according to the course and its propects. You must have talked about your plans for the future, so why the bother over him going to a different place?

It also sounds a bit one-sided when you talk about making sure you still seeing him, like he won't want to see you? There's phones and FaceTime and weekends and holidays, but don't plan on meeting up on a silly schedule. You should be happy for and supportive of your boyfriend. Give him time to settle in and find his feet, and let him make the most of clubs and societies, maybe getting a job, anything that will enhance his uni experience and future prospects. Allow for time to study and do coursework. Same applies to you. It can work, if you are patient and have commitment.

Met my boyfriend through the military, followed our own career paths, and had long periods apart with rubbish comms when we deployed; once it was a year when he went away just before I got back from somewhere. It's perfectly doable, just be realistic.
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Surnia
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
It's better to set each other free on the day you go off to uni. So that you are both free agents. So that you can both live uni life to the full and get maximum benefit from it.

Whilst being free agents you can still keep on good terms with him - if he's up for that, and he doesn't have sour grapes.

It's generally a big mistake to try to prolong 6th form relationships into your time at uni. Because there are so many wonderful people that you can both meet at uni. And cramping your social life is a bad thing.

Live in the here and the now.
Rubbish! You can meet people, have a social life and a great experience at uni without dumping each other.
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Dunnig Kruger
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(Original post by Surnia)
Rubbish! You can meet people, have a social life and a great experience at uni without dumping each other.
Yes you can. But nobody that I've ever met that has stayed with a pre-uni boyfriend or girlfriend has actually done so.

OK, admitedly it's a limited sample size. But even so.

The vast majority that have tried to stay with pre-uni partners have ended up breaking off their relationship at some point between the first day of uni and graduation.

The rarer ones that have stayed as a couple throughout their uni years have had from somewhat to extremely limted social lives at uni.
In saying this, it's possible that what I would call a full and active uni social life is different to what you and the opening poster would call it...
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 2 months ago
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(Original post by Surnia)
Rubbish! You can meet people, have a social life and a great experience at uni without dumping each other.
EXACTLY
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi
just wondering if anyone else is going to uni this year but their bfs/gfs are going somewhere else? I am going to miss him so so much but I just want to know what peoples opinions are on it and how to make sure I can still see him etc
My boyfriend started uni while I was still in sixth form and I H A T E D it. He moved into halls too and his flatmates threw parties every f*cking day :confused: Everytime he mentioned a girl friend it would be like a stab in the gut and I was extremely jealous and sometimes even unnecessarily mean to him for it. Turns out I worried for nothing I'm starting uni this year too and we're both moving out together. Needless to say, he will feel what I felt last year lmao. Except we'll be living together, so there will be less for him to worry about...
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Anonymous #3
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Report 2 months ago
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
It's better to set each other free on the day you go off to uni. So that you are both free agents. So that you can both live uni life to the full and get maximum benefit from it.

Whilst being free agents you can still keep on good terms with him - if he's up for that, and he doesn't have sour grapes.

It's generally a big mistake to try to prolong 6th form relationships into your time at uni. Because there are so many wonderful people that you can both meet at uni. And cramping your social life is a bad thing.

Live in the here and the now.
What a load of bull
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