Condoms and cheating.

My ex cheated on me I found out by finding condoms.
I went away for a week my current bf after a week came to meet me and we spent an additionally week to my trip.

his friends had stayed a week at his house when he was with me. We came back home just know and they obviously got a cleaner to clean the house before we got to his house. I saw an open box of condoms ( DEFINITELY NOT OURS) and he said it’s not his why would he put it there because he puts our sex stuff like lube on his wardrobe not his drawers. And how his friends was round so it’s probably theirs.

What do I do? My heart beating out my chest right now. I literally have trust issues from my ex and now similar situation happens.

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

Last time with my ex I found a box and then he said his friends use it then couple weeks later I found them used in his bedroom bin.

Reply 2

RazzzBerries

Chat Forum Helper

Okay first of all, breathe! It's not going to help if emotions cloud your judgement right now.
It all depends on how much trust you've got in your current bf. Has he done anything to question his loyalty to you in the past? If that's the case, he most likely is telling you the truth now.

You mentioned his friends were around when you were out - the story is plausible that the condoms are theirs. It could be worth asking them too.

I hope it works out :hugs:

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by RazzzBerries

I have trust in him but with my ex I had trust in him and believed him to be his friends then later found them used in the bin and he admitted to it.
I’ve had trust issues since but never affected my relationship greatly.
I don’t want to be naive again. Also with my ex I asked his friend and his friend obviously lied for him.

I’m so pissed off and upset. I don’t know if I should leave I was going to stay here for a week we just got back from being away. But I feel super uncomfortable and upset.

Reply 4

sy!Â¡

could you ask his friends?

Reply 5

RazzzBerries

Chat Forum Helper

Original post by Anonymous

Also with my ex I asked his friend and his friend obviously lied for him.

Consider the alternative that they're telling the truth. Imagine for a sec that your bf is completely innocent, he'd be feeling upset that you're accusing him of something he hasn't done.

Leave rn if you're upset and don't think you can handle talking it through, but you have to communicate your worries with your bf. It is up to you how you take this situation, but don't jump to conclusions.

Reply 6

kekedoyouloveme?

Original post by Anonymous

Sorry, to be a pain

Just to clarify your ex cheated on you by finding condoms.

And you think your current bf is cheating because you found a box of condoms?

As in you think history's repeating?

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Original post by kekedoyouloveme?

Sorry, to be a pain

Just to clarify your ex cheated on you by finding condoms.

And you think your current bf is cheating because you found a box of condoms?

As in you think history's repeating?

Yes. I was naive and believed my first bf I don’t want to be naive right now. I’m lost for words & actions.

Reply 8

kekedoyouloveme?

Original post by Anonymous

Yes. I was naive and believed my first bf I don’t want to be naive right now. I’m lost for words & actions.

Bless you

I understand I easily get anxious now too from my past and question it, and when they said no "i've changed" it just doesn't change a thing about how you feel.

You're valid to feel like that because you went through something difficult.

However, you don't deserve to be hurt or to make yourself upset unnecessarily. I suggest you take a few days away from your current boyfriend, give him three days. Try and ask around his friends etc.

Does your boyfriend know you were cheated on in the past. If he does then he should understand why you're so anxious in to thinking history's repeating.

If he doesn't know tell him, anyone with a heart will come clean if he is hiding something. It's not fair to be dishonest on you knowing you've been hurt in the past.

If you do give him a few days also give him an ultimatum, if he can prove his innocence then it's no problem, innocent until proven guilty as they say. So, if he's dead serious he isn't cheating on you then he should find one way to at least prove it to you. Or you should leave, sometimes it's not worth it, when you already have doubts about a person they will always remain, you've been hurt, and that's understandable, but, meeting the right person should eliminate all insecurities and should make you feel secure within a period of time, not have you second guess if the same shite is happening to you again.