English literature comparison question (30 marks) help

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juwawa
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#1
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#1
Hey so for my holiday homework I've been told to answer the question 'compare how poets present the ways people are affected by difficult experiences in 'Exposure' and another power and conflict poem . I've picked Remains as my other poem and I don't know how to start off the poem and how to structure it. I'm aiming for at least a grade 7. Any help will be much appreciate thanks.
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Evaaeri
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Hi, I'm a GCSE examiner and a teacher. Why don't you write your draft here and I'll have a look at it to see where you are in terms of Levels (marks) and what you could improve?

Start with the question- the the difficult experiences being a universal topic tackled by poetry, here the trauma caused by witnessing death. Then chose what they have in common - is the language similar? how about the rhyming scheme? Is the tome the same? Is the response the same? What image do we have in our heads after reading each poem - what word choices create this image. Not sure if you've used FLIRT but you can structure your essay in this way (5 paragraphs plus into plus conclusion)

1 -F(form)
2- L(language)
3- I (imagery)
4- R (rhyme and rhythm)
5- T tone and themes

Give multiple examples and compare ideas - avoid finding techniques just for the sake of it. Let me know if you need anything else.
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juwawa
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#3
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(Original post by Evaaeri)
Hi, I'm a GCSE examiner and a teacher. Why don't you write your draft here and I'll have a look at it to see where you are in terms of Levels (marks) and what you could improve?

Start with the question- the the difficult experiences being a universal topic tackled by poetry, here the trauma caused by witnessing death. Then chose what they have in common - is the language similar? how about the rhyming scheme? Is the tome the same? Is the response the same? What image do we have in our heads after reading each poem - what word choices create this image. Not sure if you've used FLIRT but you can structure your essay in this way (5 paragraphs plus into plus conclusion)

1 -F(form)
2- L(language)
3- I (imagery)
4- R (rhyme and rhythm)
5- T tone and themes

Give multiple examples and compare ideas - avoid finding techniques just for the sake of it. Let me know if you need anything else.
My intro- In Both War Photographer and Remains, the poems explore the aftermath of war and its tragic nature which takes a toll mentally on people and results in PTSD-like behaviour which they must avoid due to the nature of their job. Unlike Remains, the person in War Photographer hasn’t taken part in any conflict and has just captured moments of war, yet he suffers as much as the soldier in Remains with ghostly visions. In both poems, the circumstance of conflict has resulted in deaths that have traumatised people. The poets present this through many poetic devices. Both poems highlight the pain associated with war and the impact it has on everyone. In fact, the poem Remains highlights how in a circumstance such as war, an infinite cycle of internal conflict is created.

How would I start off the paragraph about form?
Thanks for your help
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Evaaeri
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Hi, will have a look tomorrow and will offer some suggestions but it it a very strong start.
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AK_017157
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#5
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(Original post by Evaaeri)
Hi, I'm a GCSE examiner and a teacher. Why don't you write your draft here and I'll have a look at it to see where you are in terms of Levels (marks) and what you could improve?

Start with the question- the the difficult experiences being a universal topic tackled by poetry, here the trauma caused by witnessing death. Then chose what they have in common - is the language similar? how about the rhyming scheme? Is the tome the same? Is the response the same? What image do we have in our heads after reading each poem - what word choices create this image. Not sure if you've used FLIRT but you can structure your essay in this way (5 paragraphs plus into plus conclusion)

1 -F(form)
2- L(language)
3- I (imagery)
4- R (rhyme and rhythm)
5- T tone and themes

Give multiple examples and compare ideas - avoid finding techniques just for the sake of it. Let me know if you need anything else.
Hi, I have an assessment in a week from today on Poetry. Do you have any tips to structure an essay? My teacher has showed me this format for planning an essay but I feel like its too simple: 1 main theme or key idea (concept) then 3 key ideas and then use VISIT to explain each key idea. So 1 of the 3 key ideas goes at the start of each paragraph so paragraph 1 after introduction is "at the start of the 'named' poem" (first para) then key Idea number 2 (second para): "As (named poem) develops" and finally key idea number 3 (final para) "At the end of the (named poem)". Each key idea starts a new paragraph and If this is comparison then we basically repeat the 3 key points from another poem after the first poem and compare it. In conclusion we basically use this format 1 main theme or key idea, 3 key ideas, then using VISIT to explain each key idea. Each key Idea is based on the beginning middle and end of the poem. Sorry if this confused you.
V - vocabulary
I - Imagery
S - Structure
I - Intention
T - Tone

Do you think this format is good? Also we haven't learnt about form so we use visit and in visit we use structure instead of form.

P.S - I'm doing English lit in year 10 instead of 11, that's the way our school does it so we haven't yet learnt of the advanced features but I hope I'm still able to get a high grade. Also, do you mind me sending a piece of work to check?
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username5695534
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Have you written ur response to the question? If yes if you don't mind can u send the essay here and I will have a look and check
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AK_017157
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#7
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(Original post by username5695534)
Have you written ur response to the question? If yes if you don't mind can u send the essay here and I will have a look and check
Hi, so sorry for the late response. Do you mind reading this essay and informing me about what I can do to improve it. The structure that I'm following is one advised to me by my teacher which I mentioned above. (Note: I haven't finished the essay yet.)

War photographer critiques society's indifferent consumptions of war and the effect of conflict on the individual. Similarly, Remains explores the permanent effect of memories on the individual as a result of the power of indoctrination.

At the start of War Photographer, Duffy explains how the photographer finds relief within his own isolation after the chaotic environment and trauma of war. He mentions how the photographer is "finally alone" with "spools of suffering set out in ordered rows" before him which indicates the solemnity of the photographer and how only he knows his job. The use of the word, "ordered" connotes how the photographer is imposing order on the chaos of war which explains the potency of his job. It can also paint a disturbing image of war as the "ordered rows" may be the dead bodies of the soldiers. Perhaps Duffy is trying to show how the photographer is trying to regain his strength after the terrorizing effect of conflict as he orders the images. However, the poet could also be portraying the photographer as a symbolic representation of society as society tries to find order in war but war is unpredictable and the reality is there is no order. Alternatively, at the start of Remains, Simon Armitage explores the reality of conflict through the indoctrination of soldiers. The poem begins with in media res, "On another occasion, we got sent out" to indicate the cyclical experiences of the soldier and how conflict has become second nature for him. It also expresses a wearied tone and could suggest how the soldier has become desensitised to conflict. The use of the pronoun "we" exemplifies how the soldier has been expelled from his identity and no longer knows his place in society. Perhaps the poet is emphasizing the consequence of indoctrination as soldiers have become a resource for the military and can be disposed of as they are just 'soldiers' but in reality they are individuals which sacrifice their life on the frontlines.
Last edited by AK_017157; 1 year ago
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