I miss my best friend

I (16f) really miss her (19). I’ll call her Kyra. We were friends for 5 years(ish) , but I was a really dumb*ss 12-14 yr old. We became friends when I was 11 and she was 14. We were both homeschooled so the age gap didn’t really matter. The thing is I used to ignore her for example when she used to talk a girl i hated. Or like text my lil sis. And then like 2019ish we met this girl, let’s call her Alisha(16), and we became friends with her. Me and Kyra used to have sleepovers quite often and meet up a lot, but then Kyra started to always want to invite Alisha and I had a problem with that. See, I liked Alisha, but I didn’t want her to be there all the time. I have a lot of trust issues so the only person I literally trusted was Kyra, and I felt like I couldn’t really talk about anything while Alisha was there. So I used to be really rude to Kyra and just like text her saying ‘I hate you.’ And etc etc. And we had some really big arguments(on text) and I said I didn’t want to be her friend at all if I wasn’t her best friend. I don’t know why. It’s probably cuz I’m such a possessive jerk. And I really regret it and I really miss her and idk what to do. I have texted her to apologise multiple times and said I’d do anything just to be her friend again. I literally love her. And I don’t know what to do, everytime I think about it I cry.


I’ll give anymore information if i can.

You (A) and your friend (B) met a new friend (C) but A didn't like C, so had a fight with B?

If A has apologised many many times, and B hasn't accepted the apology and doesn't want to move on, then A should also move on. But tbh saying I hate you, is very strong.

I liked C, but I didn’t trust her, so I didn’t want her around the whole time i was with B.

I said I hate you when I was nearly 14 but I just was reading the messages back and it was just a random I hate you, and it didn’t have any other messages to do with it.

And I’ve been trying to move on since early last year but I just haven’t been able to.

has B fully moved on?

I don’t know but she doesn’t want me to text her and she’s cordial if we meet.

then I would assume your friendship has fallen through and you should get someone else, sorry.

The fact is I can’t get over her, I’ve been trying for more then a year.