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Original post by CaptainDuckie
Unfortunately, most of what you said is true.

How old are you?


18 soon.
Reply 21
Original post by Anonymous
Do you ever feel like you’re not good enough as a black girl, no one ever seems to want to associate with you, either platonically or romantically, I just feel so numb. I have so much trauma, so many memories of trying to fit in, being bullied for my hair, my skin colour, so many micro-aggressions and I’m really exhausted mentally, crying myself to sleep just doesn’t cut it anymore because it doesn’t change anything, on top of that the gaslighting I get when I speak on the issues I go through, it’s like I’m forced to suffer in silence and I just want someone to talk to. I just feel like every aspect of my life is such a sham, I always try to be the best in everything I do to make up for every other imperfection I have and it still doesn’t satisfy me, sometimes I just give up, sometimes I procrastinate, sometimes I just don’t care anymore and it’s to the point where I literally just feel nothing. Every single day is a drag, a walk in a never ending path that I feel the destination is no where to be seen. I always wish to be someone, someone other than me, I wish I was actually pretty, I dream about scenarios that will never happen, I silently love people who I doubt would ever like me back, I contemplate if they’d ever even consider “a girl like me”. There’s so much more I wanna say, and I just feel like no one understands or will ever understand, because I get gaslit every single time. I honestly don’t know what to do, this is basically just a cry for help because I’m actually just so tired. Can anyone relate with me?


negative stereotypes affect all ethnic races to a degree weather male or female, although I would probably say that black women might get it the worse
Original post by theycallmegigi
I agree, and I also feel like lightskinned girls aren't always included in the "angry black woman" stigma, because ignorant people think they aren't really black.

even on the phone i have to try to put on a white person voice otherwise I get disrespected
Not black, but a POC here and I've been the minority in many situations so I understand. I've learnt to face it, I've learnt to respect myself and I've learnt to be independent. So if you ever need any advice, or just a friendly chat, feel free to PM me! Black is beautiful, don't let anyone tell you otherwise!
Original post by candydiva
May I ask y are speaking on behalf of OP here? Coz romantic/sexual appeal is not absent among OP's concerns. She said " I contemplate if they’d ever even consider “a girl like me.” OP can say herself instead of having her conversations "managed" by a well-meaning but patronizing third party without her consent... in the US that's xactly one of the aspects of institutionalized colonialism that BLM are protesting :mad:

I believe black (or other) ppl can speak for themselves without ur intervention....

Now about the aspect of reductionism of the appeal of black women to sex which OP hasn't said but u did..... there was nothing reductive in wat master said on this topic although I'm paraphrasing so prolly it's coming over as limited. Anyway he lived in Bham years ago in a student community that was primarily black and Asian he was the token white boy who lived there actually coz he was broke. He said the black families were rlly good to him and so was Nasim in the corner store below. He said the black girls were more open and friendly and approachable as well as sexy. He said they were honest with him about wat they wanted and he came to appreciate and respect their openness. They also liked it that he was smart and driven and respectful to them. He also discovered he loved the way they xpressed their sexuality coz it was consistent with their overall character. Later when he moved he decided he had been conditioned to prefer black girls coz of the overall quality of his xperiences with them and to this day he always wants to like and believe the best about black girls. So it's lucky for him he found another fun one lol!


I’m tired of seeking white validation. I’m not a fetish, I don’t want to be hyper-sexualised than I already am. People just see me as an experiment, a piece of flesh they can utilise, I don’t want that. That is so dehumanising. I don’t want comfort, I just want to know that I’m not alone or I’ll go insane.
I hope there are more black posts in the future, its nice to talk about issues like this. I never really meet anyone else experiencing something so similar and these issues just drain confidence, drain energy it just drains the life out of you.
Original post by Moonlight rain
Yep being called aggressive just for speaking my opinion, being painted as the angry black girl. I’ve heard racist comments thrown at me when I was as little as 9 years old and I used to feel so ugly and I always seeking validation from other races. It doesn’t feel nice at all... but now I’m 20, and I love myself. And I don’t seek validation from others. It’s sad we are still being treated this way. I know how you feel :hugs: I wish I can live in a world where skin colour didn’t matter.


Me too. 🤎
Original post by theycallmegigi
Girl,
First things first, I can relate. You sound like me a few years ago, but I can say that I've grown. Second, I want you to remeber that being black is a blessing and being a black WOMAN is a PRIVALLGE! You use that yo your advantange, because you're beautiful! Third, My door is always open if you ever need anything, I"m here.
With love
Your sister,
Gigi :smile:


Thank you so much! You made me cry 🥺
Original post by Anonymous
i feel like theres a view that all black girls act in the same way and now it just has to be our job to change peoples minds because they're ignorant :/


This is also how I feel, its like all black people are collectively grouped to be the same, it’s like we can’t be individualised people as a race. We have a set stereotype people think we act like and when we don’t fit that stereotype, people get surprised and it really makes me sad.

Original post by theycallmegigi
I agree, and I also feel like lightskinned girls aren't always included in the "angry black woman" stigma, because ignorant people think they aren't really black.


Yes, Colourism is so rife in our community too.
gremlin :&gt
anyway hiya i'm not black but i am a woc too. what you experience is very real and very distressing.

also 4c hair is beautiful!! i just bet it's really hard to take care of. i have textured hair as well. definitely take some time trying to figure out ways to style your natural hair. you'll get to develop some pride in it which'll snowball into self-love, and the validation from others will matter less and the comparisons to others will slow down.

that's what worked for me, i did something similar for my skin too so i could love my skin colour as well - stuff like trying out all sorts of differently coloured clothing to see what looked best on me. just remember, you're very pretty, very smart and very capable. there are barriers in your way for sure, there's no debating that. but you can still absolutely achieve great things and be surrounded by love and people that matter. there's always a place for you in this world.


Thank you so much! 🥺🤎
Original post by Kabzzzy
Not black, but a POC here and I've been the minority in many situations so I understand. I've learnt to face it, I've learnt to respect myself and I've learnt to be independent. So if you ever need any advice, or just a friendly chat, feel free to PM me! Black is beautiful, don't let anyone tell you otherwise!


Thank youuu 🤎
Original post by Anonymous
Do you ever feel like you’re not good enough as a black girl, no one ever seems to want to associate with you, either platonically or romantically, I just feel so numb. I have so much trauma, so many memories of trying to fit in, being bullied for my hair, my skin colour, so many micro-aggressions and I’m really exhausted mentally, crying myself to sleep just doesn’t cut it anymore because it doesn’t change anything, on top of that the gaslighting I get when I speak on the issues I go through, it’s like I’m forced to suffer in silence and I just want someone to talk to. I just feel like every aspect of my life is such a sham, I always try to be the best in everything I do to make up for every other imperfection I have and it still doesn’t satisfy me, sometimes I just give up, sometimes I procrastinate, sometimes I just don’t care anymore and it’s to the point where I literally just feel nothing. Every single day is a drag, a walk in a never ending path that I feel the destination is no where to be seen. I always wish to be someone, someone other than me, I wish I was actually pretty, I dream about scenarios that will never happen, I silently love people who I doubt would ever like me back, I contemplate if they’d ever even consider “a girl like me”. There’s so much more I wanna say, and I just feel like no one understands or will ever understand, because I get gaslit every single time. I honestly don’t know what to do, this is basically just a cry for help because I’m actually just so tired. Can anyone relate with me?

Hey Anonymous,

I can definitely relate. Please don't feel alone in this. I know first hand how draining it can be trying to assimilate as a black woman in society or even just be comfortable in your own skin. It's a journey, one that I'm definitely still trying to navigate myself. Just wanna let you know that no matter how you're feeling now, things will get better. If you wanna talk, I'm here 🖤 (just pm me xx)

**same goes to anyone else who's reading this & wants to talk - my pm's are open
(edited 2 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
Do you ever feel like you’re not good enough as a black girl, no one ever seems to want to associate with you, either platonically or romantically, I just feel so numb. I have so much trauma, so many memories of trying to fit in, being bullied for my hair, my skin colour, so many micro-aggressions and I’m really exhausted mentally, crying myself to sleep just doesn’t cut it anymore because it doesn’t change anything, on top of that the gaslighting I get when I speak on the issues I go through, it’s likest in everything I do to make up for every other imperfection I have and it still doesn’t satisfy me, sometimes I just give up, sometimes I procrastinate, I’m forced to suffer in silence and I just want someone to talk to. I just feel like every aspect of my life is such a sham, I always try to be the be sometimes I just don’t care anymore and it’s to the point where I literally just feel nothing. Every single day is a drag, a walk in a never ending path that I feel the destination is no where to be seen. I always wish to be someone, someone other than me, I wish I was actually pretty, I dream about scenarios that will never happen, I silently love people who I doubt would ever like me back, I contemplate if they’d ever even consider “a girl like me”. There’s so much more I wanna say, and I just feel like no one understands or will ever understand, because I get gaslit every single time. I honestly don’t know what to do, this is basically just a cry for help because I’m actually just so tired. Can anyone relate with me?

some black girls are pretty and smart. u must be poor u can wear makeup or wigs and be pretty
I feel like black men also are bad sometimes worse with black women than white men. date white or latino men.
black men treat black women like cra -p tbh. other men like white or latino are WAY nicer trust me.
Original post by quack456
what are you on about?


Original post by candydiva
Xactly wat I said above.


:toofunny: @YaliaV123 look at candydiva at it again bruh talking about her master lmfao. They removed the post but quack quoted it.
(edited 2 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
black men treat black women like cra -p tbh. other men like white or latino are WAY nicer trust me.

I hear that a lot.


But I know A LOT of white girls with black guys who have their complaints too, I don't think it's a black man vs black woman thing. I think it's a black guy thing.
Original post by Bang Outta Order
I hear that a lot.


But I know A LOT of white girls with black guys who have their complaints too, I don't think it's a black man vs black woman thing. I think it's a black guy thing.

Nah but trust me they project their insecurities and colourist mindset on the black woman more. I say this as a black woman. So honestly for black women, it's better to avoid black men, especially if you live in a country with white or men from other countries. They are way nicer. Most of the men I have dated are latino(I lived in the States for a while) or white. Although there aren't many latino in the UK. I find men who aren't black appreciate black beauty and show me more respect. Not all of them of course, some are racist or see you as 'easy' or 'slutty'. But if you want to feel beautiful as a black woman, I would recommend surrounding yourself with people who appreciate black beauty.
Original post by candydiva
May I ask y are speaking on behalf of OP here? Coz romantic/sexual appeal is not absent among OP's concerns. She said " I contemplate if they’d ever even consider “a girl like me.” OP can say herself instead of having her conversations "managed" by a well-meaning but patronizing third party without her consent... in the US that's xactly one of the aspects of institutionalized colonialism that BLM are protesting :mad:

I believe black (or other) ppl can speak for themselves without ur intervention....

Now about the aspect of reductionism of the appeal of black women to sex which OP hasn't said but u did..... there was nothing reductive in wat master said on this topic although I'm paraphrasing so prolly it's coming over as limited. Anyway he lived in Bham years ago in a student community that was primarily black and Asian he was the token white boy who lived there actually coz he was broke. He said the black families were rlly good to him and so was Nasim in the corner store below. He said the black girls were more open and friendly and approachable as well as sexy. He said they were honest with him about wat they wanted and he came to appreciate and respect their openness. They also liked it that he was smart and driven and respectful to them. He also discovered he loved the way they xpressed their sexuality coz it was consistent with their overall character. Later when he moved he decided he had been conditioned to prefer black girls coz of the overall quality of his xperiences with them and to this day he always wants to like and believe the best about black girls. So it's lucky for him he found another fun one lol!

LMFAO tell Nasim I said hi

You are so funny omds but surprisingly intelligent
Original post by Anonymous
Nah but trust me they project their insecurities and colourist mindset on the black woman more. I say this as a black woman. So honestly for black women, it's better to avoid black men, especially if you live in a country with white or men from other countries. They are way nicer. Most of the men I have dated are latino(I lived in the States for a while) or white. Although there aren't many latino in the UK. I find men who aren't black appreciate black beauty and show me more respect. Not all of them of course, some are racist or see you as 'easy' or 'slutty'. But if you want to feel beautiful as a black woman, I would recommend surrounding yourself with people who appreciate black beauty.

I will take your word for it. As long as it's not fetishism. But I'm sure there are good black men who appreciate black beauty but I often see them labeled as intensely reverse racist like BLM rioter or black panther or like strictly Rastafarian or ultra traditional African. And not everyone wants that.
Original post by Bang Outta Order
I will take your word for it. As long as it's not fetishism. But I'm sure there are good black men who appreciate black beauty but I often see them labeled as intensely reverse racist like BLM rioter or black panther or like strictly Rastafarian or ultra traditional African. And not everyone wants that.

Yeah you are right, there are good black men but honestly not all. There's great men in all races. I don't think black women should limit themselves. They can date or marry white, latino, asian anything. But he needs to tell you are beautiful and needs to appreciate black beauty. Some men may have a fetish or be racist but not all of them.
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah you are right, there are good black men but honestly not all. There's great men in all races. I don't think black women should limit themselves. They can date or marry white, latino, asian anything. But he needs to tell you are beautiful and needs to appreciate black beauty. Some men may have a fetish or be racist but not all of them.

My girl is half black, very light skinned and freckled. Looks like Laya Lewis from Skins? But very Afro hair. Her skin made her idolised by guys especially black ones but she wasn't flattered by it I guess. Her mum is black Jamaican, dad is white English 😁
Original post by Anonymous
Do you ever feel like you’re not good enough as a black girl, no one ever seems to want to associate with you, either platonically or romantically, I just feel so numb. I have so much trauma, so many memories of trying to fit in, being bullied for my hair, my skin colour, so many micro-aggressions and I’m really exhausted mentally, crying myself to sleep just doesn’t cut it anymore because it doesn’t change anything, on top of that the gaslighting I get when I speak on the issues I go through, it’s like I’m forced to suffer in silence and I just want someone to talk to. I just feel like every aspect of my life is such a sham, I always try to be the best in everything I do to make up for every other imperfection I have and it still doesn’t satisfy me, sometimes I just give up, sometimes I procrastinate, sometimes I just don’t care anymore and it’s to the point where I literally just feel nothing. Every single day is a drag, a walk in a never ending path that I feel the destination is no where to be seen. I always wish to be someone, someone other than me, I wish I was actually pretty, I dream about scenarios that will never happen, I silently love people who I doubt would ever like me back, I contemplate if they’d ever even consider “a girl like me”. There’s so much more I wanna say, and I just feel like no one understands or will ever understand, because I get gaslit every single time. I honestly don’t know what to do, this is basically just a cry for help because I’m actually just so tired. Can anyone relate with me?


I cant understand your struggle because I'm not a black girl but i'm really sorry society and certain people make you feel this way, just know that there are people in your life that care and love you. I'm sorry that society is soo cruel to black people but even harsher to black women. I have hope that there are more and more people trying to unlearn these racially systemic beliefs about black girls, you don't have to be exceptional in everything you do, you are allowed to show emotion, you're a valid human being, you don't have to be exceptional in everything you do and most importantly you are worthy of everything.
Original post by Bang Outta Order
My girl is half black, very light skinned and freckled. Looks like Laya Lewis from Skins? But very Afro hair. Her skin made her idolised by guys especially black ones but she wasn't flattered by it I guess. Her mum is black Jamaican, dad is white English 😁

Laya Lewis from Skins is a very light skin coloured black woman. Most black women are not that light in colour. I am talking about black guys with darker black women and girls.

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