My Girlfriend Has Become Super Overprotective

Watch
Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#1
So iv been speaking to this girl for about 2 months now and last week I asked if she wanted to become my girlfriend and she said yes. Great stuff.

However ever since then she has become super overprotective of me which myself I actually kind of like but I don’t really think it’s great for her health. I think she became super overprotective when she seen a meme saying “if he’s 6ft, got a full beard and drives a german hold on to him” or something like that and she’s took it a little too literally. It’s normally in the evenings which is overthinking hour she just messages me random things like why wouldn’t another girl want you, you’re 6foot, have a full beard, drive an AMG, have a top class degree, a business and life goals, built body(From gym) and funny . I have constantly said to her I couldn’t care less about other girls but she wants my Instagram login to be on the safe side. Which I wouldn’t mind giving but I don’t want her to see the lads group chats are they are slightly vile to say the least.

I have reassured her many times but she kind of just states that list and says why wouldn’t other girls want you. Like I said I don’t mind the reassuring etc because I really like this girl but I really don’t think it’s healthy for her mental health. A friend told me to just leave it as it’s a phase and she’ll get over it with time, but i’m not really sure.
0
reply
theycallmegigi
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#2
Report 2 weeks ago
#2
My dude....MAJOR RED FLAG!!!!! If she's obbsessing over you like this now, it'll only get worse as you guys get closer. I'd say give it a few more weeks(like 3) and see if this is what she keeps doing. Also, i would suggest talking to her about it, and how it makes you feel, she can't change if she doesn't know. But from what i'm hearing, she seems kinda insecure. Like she feels as if you're the only thing she has that makes her confident. So...just watch some of the other stuff she does too. Hope this helped!

With love,
Gigi
3
reply
Foxehh
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#3
Report 2 weeks ago
#3
Definitely do not give her your social media logins. You have a deserved basic level of privacy, she needs to have some trust in you or the relationship isnt going to work. Talk to her about it.
5
reply
Celtic Conjurer
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#4
Report 2 weeks ago
#4
She’s insecure and doesn’t trust you. Get rid and whatever you do don’t give her your logins.
1
reply
YaliaV123
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#5
Report 2 weeks ago
#5
Have you ever actually met?
1
reply
Adz2042
Badges: 15
Rep:
?
#6
Report 2 weeks ago
#6
I wouldn't give her your login details for social media, because then all she has to do, is go through your private messages, or your follower list, and instantly find a girl (be that a friend of yours or someone you like to see their updates), and instantly start making assumptions / accusations that you're cheating.
2
reply
theycallmegigi
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#7
Report 2 weeks ago
#7
(Original post by Adz2042)
I wouldn't give her your login details for social media, because then all she has to do, is go through your private messages, or your follower list, and instantly find a girl (be that a friend of yours or someone you like to see their updates), and instantly start making assumptions / accusations that you're cheating.
that's so true!!! I feel like when us girls are insecure, we create these ideas in our heads about our boyfriend cheating and us not being good enough to the point of where it ruins our relationships.
0
reply
ThomH97
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#8
Report 2 weeks ago
#8
This is a weird anonymous humblebrag.

Don't give out your logins. If she doesn't trust you because she thinks she's punching above her weight, then perhaps she shouldn't be punching above her weight. Unless you think you're the fussiest person in the entire world, you know that other people are going to find your partner attractive. She'll have to deal with her insecurities, but you don't need to suffer from them.
1
reply
Anonymous #1
#9
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#9
(Original post by theycallmegigi)
My dude....MAJOR RED FLAG!!!!! If she's obbsessing over you like this now, it'll only get worse as you guys get closer. I'd say give it a few more weeks(like 3) and see if this is what she keeps doing. Also, i would suggest talking to her about it, and how it makes you feel, she can't change if she doesn't know. But from what i'm hearing, she seems kinda insecure. Like she feels as if you're the only thing she has that makes her confident. So...just watch some of the other stuff she does too. Hope this helped!

With love,
Gigi
Ok will do, thanks
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#10
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#10
(Original post by theycallmegigi)
that's so true!!! I feel like when us girls are insecure, we create these ideas in our heads about our boyfriend cheating and us not being good enough to the point of where it ruins our relationships.
I feel like I might just show her my instagram because I actually haven’t spoken to another girl, but like I said before the lads in the group chats send a lot of photos of girls on there which might be an issue
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#11
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#11
(Original post by ThomH97)
This is a weird anonymous humblebrag.

Don't give out your logins. If she doesn't trust you because she thinks she's punching above her weight, then perhaps she shouldn't be punching above her weight. Unless you think you're the fussiest person in the entire world, you know that other people are going to find your partner attractive. She'll have to deal with her insecurities, but you don't need to suffer from them.
It’s not a brag that’s why I made the post anonymous because I didn’t want to seem like a ****, its just what she’s saying. To be honest I thought I was punching above my weight with her and I’m super happy with her just these weird outbursts she has. Plus she lives about 30 miles away so we can’t really meet up everyday. I might make a bit more effort to facetime her more actually because I really don’t want to be the casual of this level of stress
0
reply
becausethenight
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#12
Report 2 weeks ago
#12
Have you talked to her about how this behaviour makes you feel and the impact on your relationship? It does sound like she's quite insecure and that can get pretty old pretty quickly.
I wouldn't give her any kind of social media login - as said you obviously have a right to privacy and if she genuinely thinks you're cheating all the time, why is she dating you?
0
reply
theycallmegigi
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#13
Report 2 weeks ago
#13
(Original post by Anonymous)
I feel like I might just show her my instagram because I actually haven’t spoken to another girl, but like I said before the lads in the group chats send a lot of photos of girls on there which might be an issue
gotchu! I mean if she has an issue with you looking at another female, that will cause a problem later. let me know how it works out, okay!
0
reply
theycallmegigi
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#14
Report 2 weeks ago
#14
(Original post by ThomH97)
This is a weird anonymous humblebrag.

Don't give out your logins. If she doesn't trust you because she thinks she's punching above her weight, then perhaps she shouldn't be punching above her weight. Unless you think you're the fussiest person in the entire world, you know that other people are going to find your partner attractive. She'll have to deal with her insecurities, but you don't need to suffer from them.
someone obviously doesn't know the difference between bragging, and asking for advice. He was genuinely asking for help wiith an issue. Can you just give him the advice he asked for without all the extra stuff.....geez.
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#15
Report 2 weeks ago
#15
(Original post by Anonymous)
So iv been speaking to this girl for about 2 months now and last week I asked if she wanted to become my girlfriend and she said yes. Great stuff.

However ever since then she has become super overprotective of me which myself I actually kind of like but I don’t really think it’s great for her health. I think she became super overprotective when she seen a meme saying “if he’s 6ft, got a full beard and drives a german hold on to him” or something like that and she’s took it a little too literally. It’s normally in the evenings which is overthinking hour she just messages me random things like why wouldn’t another girl want you, you’re 6foot, have a full beard, drive an AMG, have a top class degree, a business and life goals, built body(From gym) and funny . I have constantly said to her I couldn’t care less about other girls but she wants my Instagram login to be on the safe side. Which I wouldn’t mind giving but I don’t want her to see the lads group chats are they are slightly vile to say the least.

I have reassured her many times but she kind of just states that list and says why wouldn’t other girls want you. Like I said I don’t mind the reassuring etc because I really like this girl but I really don’t think it’s healthy for her mental health. A friend told me to just leave it as it’s a phase and she’ll get over it with time, but i’m not really sure.
Honestly, your friend might acc be right. Just give her time - it's only been 2 months, she needs the reassurance that you genuinely like her and only her. With time + you constantly saying you couldn't care less about other girls, she herself will stop bringing it up. She'll realize + stop bringing it up herself coz she's reassured.
I'm only saying this because I was like this with my boyfriend - but a lot less over protective. I didn't ask for his socials, text him messages like that etc. But every time I got drunk I'd bring up some girl he was talking to. He always told me he's only interested in me every time. I realized I was being dumb and looked stupid so stopped by myself. It didn't take too long for me to stop.
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#16
Report 2 weeks ago
#16
(Original post by Anonymous)
Honestly, your friend might acc be right. Just give her time - it's only been 2 months, she needs the reassurance that you genuinely like her and only her. With time + you constantly saying you couldn't care less about other girls, she herself will stop bringing it up. She'll realize + stop bringing it up herself coz she's reassured.
I'm only saying this because I was like this with my boyfriend - but a lot less over protective. I didn't ask for his socials, text him messages like that etc. But every time I got drunk I'd bring up some girl he was talking to. He always told me he's only interested in me every time. I realized I was being dumb and looked stupid so stopped by myself. It didn't take too long for me to stop.
ofc if it goes a really long period of time + she doesn't stop then you should talk to her.
But you've only been talking for 2 months, it's lowkey normal for the girl to be insecure/unsure at the start imo
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#17
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#17
(Original post by becausethenight)
Have you talked to her about how this behaviour makes you feel and the impact on your relationship? It does sound like she's quite insecure and that can get pretty old pretty quickly.
I wouldn't give her any kind of social media login - as said you obviously have a right to privacy and if she genuinely thinks you're cheating all the time, why is she dating you?
So at the moment it doesn’t really bother me too much i’m more concerned for her mental health as I don’t think it’s particularly great for that. I think I need a way to reassure her because just saying it isn’t really working. I don’t mind giving her my social passwords as I don’t really have anything to hide just the guys group chat can get a little crazy sometimes and I don’t really want to expose them. Other than that I would give it to her
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#18
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#18
(Original post by theycallmegigi)
gotchu! I mean if she has an issue with you looking at another female, that will cause a problem later. let me know how it works out, okay!
My issue is I haven’t even looked at any other females, she’s being insecure and is really trying to hold on to me for some reason. Like I do appreciate the gesture as it means she cares but I don’t think it’s great for her as she’s got some University stuff coming up which she needs to concentrate on and I don’t want her to mess that up over me
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#19
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#19
(Original post by Anonymous)
Honestly, your friend might acc be right. Just give her time - it's only been 2 months, she needs the reassurance that you genuinely like her and only her. With time + you constantly saying you couldn't care less about other girls, she herself will stop bringing it up. She'll realize + stop bringing it up herself coz she's reassured.
I'm only saying this because I was like this with my boyfriend - but a lot less over protective. I didn't ask for his socials, text him messages like that etc. But every time I got drunk I'd bring up some girl he was talking to. He always told me he's only interested in me every time. I realized I was being dumb and looked stupid so stopped by myself. It didn't take too long for me to stop.
Honestly i’m hoping she is going through the same phase as she mainly brings this stuff up at night which is the overthinkers hour
0
reply
sufys12
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#20
Report 2 weeks ago
#20
(Original post by Anonymous)
My issue is I haven’t even looked at any other females, she’s being insecure and is really trying to hold on to me for some reason. Like I do appreciate the gesture as it means she cares but I don’t think it’s great for her as she’s got some University stuff coming up which she needs to concentrate on and I don’t want her to mess that up over me
Just leave her. It's a huge red flag for someone to be like this. If you are what you say you are, then you should find a better girl easily.
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

If you haven't confirmed your firm and insurance choices yet, why is that?

I don't want to decide until I've received all my offers (85)
36.17%
I am waiting until the deadline in case anything in my life changes (37)
15.74%
I am waiting until the deadline in case something in the world changes (ie. pandemic-related) (10)
4.26%
I am waiting until I can see the unis in person (24)
10.21%
I still have more questions before I made my decision (29)
12.34%
No reason, just haven't entered it yet (28)
11.91%
Something else (let us know in the thread!) (22)
9.36%

Watched Threads

View All