Not allowed to move out for university

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Anonymous #1
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Okay so i’ve argued several times with my dad about university and he has been really manipulative. Like he thinks somehow me wanting to go to university is me rebelling against him or something. I want to Warwick which is over an hour’s drive from where i live but my dad wants me to go KCL and he said he’ll find some random family to live with that i don’t know and i have bad social anxiety so i really don’t want to do that. I’ve told him i want to move out to warwick but he’s really against it because he thinks white people are going to turn me into an atheist or something (i’m muslim). How do i convince him to let me go? Like i know when you’re applying for accommodation at Warwick you can choose if you’d like a quieter area etc. Is there any other accommodation preferences that’ll make my dad more convinced about me moving out like an alcohol free environment or something. He’s said that if i do end up going Warwick he’ll drive me everyday which i don’t believe at all because last year i’d beg him to get me from college and he’d say he was busy and basically i don’t want to be in a position halfway through the year where i have no way to get to uni and it’s too late for accommodation.
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Kerzen
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Okay so i’ve argued several times with my dad about university and he has been really manipulative. Like he thinks somehow me wanting to go to university is me rebelling against him or something. I want to Warwick which is over an hour’s drive from where i live but my dad wants me to go KCL and he said he’ll find some random family to live with that i don’t know and i have bad social anxiety so i really don’t want to do that. I’ve told him i want to move out to warwick but he’s really against it because he thinks white people are going to turn me into an atheist or something (i’m muslim). How do i convince him to let me go? Like i know when you’re applying for accommodation at Warwick you can choose if you’d like a quieter area etc. Is there any other accommodation preferences that’ll make my dad more convinced about me moving out like an alcohol free environment or something. He’s said that if i do end up going Warwick he’ll drive me everyday which i don’t believe at all because last year i’d beg him to get me from college and he’d say he was busy and basically i don’t want to be in a position halfway through the year where i have no way to get to uni and it’s too late for accommodation.
Do you have an application in to UCAS at the moment? To which Universities and for which subject?
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_gcx
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I can't see how he's not bluffing with driving you to Warwick every day if it's an hour both ways. (that's 4 hours out of his day each day!!)

Yes you can ask for a quieter area. You can also ask for single sex accommodation. I would guess a lot of the people that ask for single sex do so for religious reasons.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Kerzen)
Do you have an application in to UCAS at the moment? To which Universities and for which subject?
Biomedical science and yeah i have an offer
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Kerzen
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Biomedical science and yeah i have an offer
That sounds promising. Is the offer from Warwick?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by _gcx)
I can't see how he's not bluffing with driving you to Warwick every day if it's an hour both ways. (that's 4 hours out of his day each day!!)

Yes you can ask for a quieter area. You can also ask for single sex accommodation. I would guess a lot of the people that ask for single sex do so for religious reasons.
Thank you. My dad said that apparently you only go to university 3 days a week is this true? Plus are there usually gaps e.g a lecture in the morning and a seminar in the evening or something.
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Anonymous #2
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It will save you money to not move out and stuff
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Kerzen)
That sounds promising. Is the offer from Warwick?
Yeah i want to firm it
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Kerzen
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah i want to firm it
The accommodation looks nice, actually.

What about giving the accommodation people a call this week and asking which of the accommodation options would be most suitable for you?

https://warwick.ac.uk/services/accom...chure-2021.pdf
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It will save you money to not move out and stuff
Yeah that’s true and if i had my own car i wouldn’t mind commuting too much but i’ll have to rely on my dad always being available to drive me and he doesn’t even live with me so idk i feel like it’s more hassle then it’s worth.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Kerzen)
The accommodation looks nice, actually.

What about giving the accommodation people a call this week and asking which of the accommodation options would be most suitable for you?

https://warwick.ac.uk/services/accom...chure-2021.pdf
That’s a good idea actually i may as well
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah that’s true and if i had my own car i wouldn’t mind commuting too much but i’ll have to rely on my dad always being available to drive me and he doesn’t even live with me so idk i feel like it’s more hassle then it’s worth.
By a car then? You could use the money you were going to spend on accommodation a car to travel to uni in
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Filthy Communist
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"You only go to university 3 days a week"

Might be true that some courses are very light on the contact hours, but I definitely wouldn't count on that.

Also, what maintenance loan are you eligible for? You might find that after your dad fills out the form you're eligible for the full maintenance loan and won't need your dads support. If push comes to shove, you might have to hang on by the skin of your teeth with a mixture of whatever maintenance loan you're eligible for, scholarships available from the uni or private companies, a part time job, interest free overdraft, and if possible uni hardship funds (although as a plate-glass Warwick doesn't have the biggest endowment so it might be difficult to access these).

I wish I could help you with your family and Warwick specific stuff, but unfortunately I'm a prospective Southampton student and non-Muslim, so I can't really help. I can give you my condolences though, it really sucks that your dad thinks so little of your faith in Islam that he thinks that a bunch of posh white kids will turn you against it. I can't even comprehend how insulting that must be.
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Kerzen
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This looks good, they might be of assistance to you:

https://www.warwicksu.com/societies-...eties/islamic/
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Filthy Communist)
"You only go to university 3 days a week"

Might be true that some courses are very light on the contact hours, but I definitely wouldn't count on that.

Also, what maintenance loan are you eligible for? You might find that after your dad fills out the form you're eligible for the full maintenance loan and won't need your dads support. If push comes to shove, you might have to hang on by the skin of your teeth with a mixture of whatever maintenance loan you're eligible for, scholarships available from the uni or private companies, a part time job, interest free overdraft, and if possible uni hardship funds (although as a plate-glass Warwick doesn't have the biggest endowment so it might be difficult to access these).

I wish I could help you with your family and Warwick specific stuff, but unfortunately I'm a prospective Southampton student and non-Muslim, so I can't really help. I can give you my condolences though, it really sucks that your dad thinks so little of your faith in Islam that he thinks that a bunch of posh white kids will turn you against it. I can't even comprehend how insulting that must be.
Thankfully money isn’t an issue. I’m going to have to fund myself at uni but i’m eligible for maximum maintenance loan plus i’ll get a £2000 bursary and i have savings that i got from my child trust fund. And thank you it’s really annoying because he’s made his mind up and nothing i say has an effect on him :/ plus i only see him like once a month and he wants to make decisions for me about university. Good luck yourself though with southampton and thank you
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Kerzen
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thankfully money isn’t an issue. I’m going to have to fund myself at uni but i’m eligible for maximum maintenance loan plus i’ll get a £2000 bursary and i have savings that i got from my child trust fund. And thank you it’s really annoying because he’s made his mind up and nothing i say has an effect on him :/ plus i only see him like once a month and he wants to make decisions for me about university. Good luck yourself though with southampton and thank you
He can't actually make you do anything.

The idea of him driving you back and forth to Warwick is silly and not in your interests.

If you want to go to Warwick, firm your offer this week, ring the accommodation people for advice on the best option for you and touch base with the Islamic Society too (if you wish).
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rhaenna
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If you're financially independent, I would (gently) remind your dad that the choice is not his to make. You know yourself best and it's entirely your choice as an adult.
He may be frustrated, but if a parent respects their child as an equal and individual, they will not interfere. Good luck which whatever you choose to do
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_gcx
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you. My dad said that apparently you only go to university 3 days a week is this true? Plus are there usually gaps e.g a lecture in the morning and a seminar in the evening or something.
Depends on the course. Might be 3 or 4. Particularly if you are taking a diverse or unusual set of modules, expect your timetable to be a bit messy.

And yes, that can be the case.
Last edited by _gcx; 3 weeks ago
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Filthy Communist
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I think it's worth noting here that you only get the full maintenance loan if your dad actually fills out the student finance form. I warn everyone here to be careful about suggesting OP just firm warwick immediately.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Kerzen)
He can't actually make you do anything.

The idea of him driving you back and forth to Warwick is silly and not in your interests.

If you want to go to Warwick, firm your offer this week, ring the accommodation people for advice on the best option for you and touch base with the Islamic Society too (if you wish).
You’re right thank you i’ve been planning to go anyway but i just wanted it to be easier tbh. I’ll do that though and see what they say.
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