tell me your favourite joke lmao :D

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harlz_chalamet
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#1
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#1
can you please tell me your fave joke please 😭 - wheather they are so bad that they are funny or just funny.

here's mine:
why did the mushroom go to the party ?

because he was a fungi (fun guy) 😎
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username5574196
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Q) What’s a Mexicans favourite sport? A) Cross country. No offence 🤣🤣🤣🤣
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Adz2042
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I'll give you two:

A simple short one: 'T is for Mugs'.

After a long illness, Bob arrived at the Gates of Heaven.
While he was waiting for God to greet him, he peeked through the Gates. He saw a beautiful banquet table.
Sitting all around were his parents and all the other people he had loved and who had died before him.
They saw him and began calling greetings -- "Hello" "How are you! We've been waiting for you!" "Good to see you."

When God came back, Bob said to him, "This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?"

"You have to spell a word," God said.

"Which word?" Bob asked.

"LOVE."

Bob correctly spelled "LOVE" and he was welcomed into Heaven.

A few years passed, and as Bob was sunbathing, God approached him.
'Hi God', How are you doing?' Bob asked.
God responded 'Not bad, but I need you do to me a favour. I need you to watch the Gates of Heaven for a few weeks. Can you do that for me?'
'Sure thing' replied Bob.
God hands over the keys to Heaven, and reminds Bob that for people to enter, they have to spell the word 'LOVE'.

A few days later, Bob notices a familiar face in the queue to get in. It's his wife Jane.
When Jane approaches the lectern (which has the checklist of names on), Bob greets her.
"I'm surprised to see you," Bob said. "How have you been?"

"Oh, I've been so lonely since you died," Jane said. 'It started off well, but then I grew depressed and started to miss you a lot.
So I figured I'd go on holiday a bit, then wait till it was my time to join you up here, and here I am today'.

'Aw lovely. Glad to see you' replied Bob.

'So how does one get into Heaven?' asked Jane.

"You have to spell a word, perfectly with no mistakes. It's quite easy," Bob told her.

"Which word?" Jane asked.

"Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch."
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Amin7
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Q: What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

A: "We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!" :lol:
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Justaboutalive
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Why is Cinderella bad at football?
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cos she keeps running away from the ball


hahahahhahaha
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CaptainDuckie
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Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut

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he just needed space


Badum Tis hahahahaha
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IlikeDonerKebab
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I went to the doctors recently

He said: “Don’t eat anything fatty”

I said: “What, like bacon and burgers?”

He said, “No. fatty don’t eat anything.”


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Stolen from google
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deal with it

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Justaboutalive
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(Original post by IlikeDonerKebab)
I went to the doctors recently

He said: “Don’t eat anything fatty”

I said: “What, like bacon and burgers?”

He said, “No. fatty don’t eat anything.”


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Stolen from google
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deal with it

'And i took offense at that'
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IlikeDonerKebab
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#9
(Original post by Justaboutalive)
'And i took offense at that'
Sorry boss

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Did u laugh or nah
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Hellohsjakodsmka
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#10
What do you call a doctor that specialises in mens necks?
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a guy neck ologist
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Justaboutalive
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(Original post by IlikeDonerKebab)
Sorry boss

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Did u laugh or nah
maybee i

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Cackled
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Mesopotamian.
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#12
My university is the biggest joke I’ve heard.
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Justaboutalive
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(Original post by Hellohsjakodsmka)
What do you call a doctor that specialises in mens necks?
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a guy neck ologist
this one hehe
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A Rolling Stone
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(Original post by Mesopotamian.)
My university is the biggest joke I’ve heard.
London Met or Warwick?
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Mesopotamian.
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(Original post by A Rolling Stone)
London Met or Warwick?
London Met :rofl:
I wouldn’t go there even if you paid me.
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HedgePig
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Two QAnon followers die but despite that they had lead otherwise good lives and finally, after some hesitation, St Peter admits them to heaven.

Shortly afterwards, they are wandering around getting to know the place when they bump into God, who greets them warmly and says, “You know, if there was anything that really puzzled you when you were on earth, just ask me and I’ll be able to answer.”

The two look at each other, nod and simultaneously ask, “How did Joe Biden manage to steal the 2020 Presidential elections?”

God laughed and said, “That’s easy. He didn’t steal them. He won them fair and square.”

The two at each other very dubiously and the first one said to the other, “This goes higher than we thought.”
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Foxehh
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What happened to the man who shoplifted a calendar on New Years Eve?
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He got 12 months.
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CaptainDuckie
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Did you just mutate for a stop codon?

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because you’re talking nonsense


High IQ jokes only ladssssssss :rofl:
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CaptainDuckie
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#19
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Why aren’t women more sexier than men?

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you can’t spell sexy without “xy”
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