Bf said he will dump me if I don't change my A level subjects?

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Anonymous #1
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Hiya I'm doing Chemistry, Classical Civ and French at A Level, dropped Maths and Biology at AS and have 4 offers to do Pharmacology at uni

My bf of 3 months asks why does a pharmacist need to speak French or know about 'old ancient people'?

I tried explaining that's not the point of A levels, and they're transferable skills to show essay writing and academic potential and interest blah blah and im not going to be a pharmacist.. that would be a pharmacy degree and not pharmacology lol

he is 20 and is a student plumber at college

Anyway, he said if I don't change my subjects to something like Art or Drama or he 'will settle for nursing a level' (no such even thing?) then he thinks we are not going to work out and maybe go our separate ways

i said it's too late to change a levels, I get my results soon and will be going to uni in September but he says that isn't true and he knows people who change right before uni ???? none of his friends have been to uni. I think he is confusing changing a levels with changing degree course

1) Is it too late to change? Will I get good grades if I change to Drama, Art and Biology (I took bio at AS) and do nursing at uni? Can I apply for this September start?

2) should I just dump him? I do really like him and he is so lovely usually and is handsome and funny what can I say to explain to him this is the right course for me

Thanks
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Tw1x
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Is this genuine? If so then yes dump him, you do the subjects you want for the career that suits you - not someone else! If you wanted to do nursing you'd have applied for that, yes?
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Anonymous #2
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dump his ass- at uni there'll be guys who are handsome, funny AND smart
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Khrushchav
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did he do an A level in plumbing?
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Jade1211
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You deserve way better than that, do whatever subjects YOU want to do, you’re the one who’ll be studying them, not him
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JackTaylorQS
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If he's leveraging your relationship like that, that's a huge red flag. At such a young age, the vast majority of relationships just will not last, so it would be a real shame to potentially change courses in life to invest in something that realistically isn't worth investing in. By all means, commit somewhat - but there's a point at which one can commit too much for it to be safe, sensible and sane. That point is much lower the younger you are.

TL;DR: Don't change - if he can't accept, dump

I could go more into the ethos of this and in greater detail about why I think he's doing something tremendously toxic, but I won't unless asked. I hope whatever decision you make works out for you. Feel free to ask if you want more armchair psychologist advice ;p
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GabiAbi84
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This can’t be real...right?
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Interea
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Don't let someone throw your plans off course because they don't understand how the system works - if he really plans to break up with you if you don't sacrifice another two years of your life changing for him, then you've had a lucky break if anything!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
dump his ass- at uni there'll be guys who are handsome, funny AND smart
Trueeee!!!!!

(Original post by Khrushchav)
did he do an A level in plumbing?
Lol it's like an apprenticeship Level 3 thing :confused: actually quite good though

(Original post by JackTaylorQS)
If he's leveraging your relationship like that, that's a huge red flag. At such a young age, the vast majority of relationships just will not last, so it would be a real shame to potentially change courses in life to invest in something that realistically isn't worth investing in. By all means, commit somewhat - but there's a point at which one can commit too much for it to be safe, sensible and sane. That point is much lower the younger you are.

TL;DR: Don't change - if he can't accept, dump

I could go more into the ethos of this and in greater detail about why I think he's doing something tremendously toxic, but I won't unless asked. I hope whatever decision you make works out for you. Feel free to ask if you want more armchair psychologist advice ;p
That's really helped clear my mind thanks so much it is true, if he acts like that now what will be do in 10 years maybe ? :/ he is usually 100% of time perfect though, gentleman and kind, maybe he is scared I am a little smarter than him? he didn't even do GCSEs :/
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Anonymous #3
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This can't be for real!! Anyone taking A levels now knows that there is no way you could change so late in the game!! And who in their right mind would consider it??
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by GabiAbi84)
This can’t be real...right?
I wish it wasn't...!!

(Original post by Interea)
Don't let someone throw your plans off course because they don't understand how the system works - if he really plans to break up with you if you don't sacrifice another two years of your life changing for him, then you've had a lucky break if anything!
Thanks, that is so true!! I need to speak to careers advisor I think maybe too
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
This can't be for real!! Anyone taking A levels now knows that there is no way you could change so late in the game!! And who in their right mind would consider it??
He has never done A Levels so of course I know you can't do that, that's what I said to him but he claimed he knows people who has changed a levels in summer holiday before uni!!!!!! I do love him though what should I do ? Can I move him into uni with me and sneak him into lectures? Thanks

(Original post by Tw1x)
Is this genuine? If so then yes dump him, you do the subjects you want for the career that suits you - not someone else! If you wanted to do nursing you'd have applied for that, yes?
Egsately!!! if I wanted to do nursing I'd apply for that, I like research in the lab he doesn't understand, he thinks I'm going to be a chemist on the high street!!!!
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Anonymous #4
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Trueeee!!!!!



Lol it's like an apprenticeship Level 3 thing :confused: actually quite good though



That's really helped clear my mind thanks so much it is true, if he acts like that now what will be do in 10 years maybe ? :/ he is usually 100% of time perfect though, gentleman and kind, maybe he is scared I am a little smarter than him? he didn't even do GCSEs :/
he didn't even do his GCSE's right.... no stick with what you're doing ... you'll find much more guys in uni that will support what you choose to do
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Tw1x
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Egsately!!! if I wanted to do nursing I'd apply for that, I like research in the lab he doesn't understand, he thinks I'm going to be a chemist on the high street!!!!
Even if you were planning on doing that, it's YOUR choice not his. I would get rid, sorry but he sounds controlling and insecure
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Anonymous #5
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You’d be daft if you changed your career or subject choice over a boy. He’s doing a plumbing course, so he feels inferior and threatened that your smarter and that you’re not in the same level as him.

No offence but the relationship isn’t going to succeed and be long term if he’s behaving like that now. A word of advise is, to date someone that’s on the same level as you academically because if there’s an imbalance then the other person gets jealous.
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Interea
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(Original post by Anonymous)
He has never done A Levels so of course I know you can't do that, that's what I said to him but he claimed he knows people who has changed a levels in summer holiday before uni!!!!!! I do love him though what should I do ? Can I move him into uni with me and sneak him into lectures? Thanks
I'm so confused how he thinks A levels work, it's not like he could complete his plumbing apprenticeship and then on the day they sign him off ask them to qualify him in Level 3 hairdressing instead :confused: Does he even know that they're two year qualifications where you actually learn stuff and do exams on it at the end?
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barnet1471
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I'm glad to read that I'm not the only person born on this shores who when visiting France will actually speak the language and not ask others to speak English.

End the relationship.
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theycallmegigi
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hiya I'm doing Chemistry, Classical Civ and French at A Level, dropped Maths and Biology at AS and have 4 offers to do Pharmacology at uni

My bf of 3 months asks why does a pharmacist need to speak French or know about 'old ancient people'?

I tried explaining that's not the point of A levels, and they're transferable skills to show essay writing and academic potential and interest blah blah and im not going to be a pharmacist.. that would be a pharmacy degree and not pharmacology lol

he is 20 and is a student plumber at college

Anyway, he said if I don't change my subjects to something like Art or Drama or he 'will settle for nursing a level' (no such even thing?) then he thinks we are not going to work out and maybe go our separate ways

i said it's too late to change a levels, I get my results soon and will be going to uni in September but he says that isn't true and he knows people who change right before uni ???? none of his friends have been to uni. I think he is confusing changing a levels with changing degree course

1) Is it too late to change? Will I get good grades if I change to Drama, Art and Biology (I took bio at AS) and do nursing at uni? Can I apply for this September start?

2) should I just dump him? I do really like him and he is so lovely usually and is handsome and funny what can I say to explain to him this is the right course for me

Thanks
Sis, you need to drop this dude like a hot tamale! He's obviously not on your level academically or anywhere in your leauge, don't worry about him being handsome if he's knocking you down for your dreams. You have goals go reach them!
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V℮rsions
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Don't let a plumber tell you what to do academically :lol:

No offence to the profession - it has good potential - but the intake of plumbers usually aren't the brightest people. Just looked at the local college which does plumbing (not mine, we don't do it) and it only requires at level 3 a 3 in Maths and English.

Now no offence to your boyfriend either but if he's going to go such a lack lustre 'academic' route, he has no right to tell you what to do. Break up with him man, guy sounds controlling
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Siberiaan
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Im concerned you're even considering changing subjects lool
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