Would you Forgive or not?

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username202925
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I'll put the email they wrote to me and then put my defence or how my thinking was at the time.
All I wanted was forgiveness from them and my email to them before this was:
"should I be ashamed for how much money I gave?"
I think I had said sorry the next day in their live stream (by further trying to help out and donate money to get text to speech, they didn't see it that way and I guess aren't grateful for money)

They're Email

dude. you asked to link something, i said no. then you did it anyway. so i timed you out. then you did it again thru dono. so i timed you out longer. then you said it's ok because you donated and it was my fault for leaving the option to media share. it has nothing to do with money. it's about you being a smartass and justifying with a donation.
stop emailing me about this and move on


My Resoning:
1) I never asked for permission to send a link in the chat plus they explained after that chat was for song requests as the reason for links in chat being enabled. Mine was a train melody.

2) When I asked if he wanted to watch a train melody, he said "Nah" so I just sent it for chat to watch because if links are enabled in chat then it means it's ok as he knows how to disable link allowance.

Of course I would have stopped the minute he said "right i'm timing you out"
I would have said sorry, I didn't realise it was also no to chat watching.
But the tone and the duration and the laughing from him giving me a 1 minute time out and the chat laughing in shock made me believe he was just having fun and joking around.
Chat was like "OMG you timed him out"
He replies "it's only a minute ban"

It was an hour ban so I thought I'd donate Text to speech money as a sort of sorry and thank you for streaming money by writing "actually it's an hour ban"
Then I notice there's an option in donations to send media if the streamer chooses to show it.

So I donate again and just put the link in there.

I say sorry the next day too with a donation.

Should I still have to feel ashamed to every person I meet in life? Because that's how it's been playing on my mind for 2 months now.

His lack of forgiveness by email is what hurts. But to be honest he changed the meanings, twisted the words of what I said "do you want to watch a train melody video" is not the same as what he writes in the email.
Last edited by username202925; 2 weeks ago
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Achiever Collins
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hello 🙌🙌?
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Surnia
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You've posted about this before. Stop wasting money donating to YouTubers and look at what they are saying. It's nothing to do with your donation and everything to do with the fact that they didn't want a train melody, whatever that is, and you sent it anyway; if someone says no to something, take it as no and don't do it anyway.

How about you come off YouTube and find a better hobby?
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username202925
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(Original post by Surnia)
You've posted about this before. Stop wasting money donating to YouTubers and look at what they are saying. It's nothing to do with your donation and everything to do with the fact that they didn't want a train melody, whatever that is, and you sent it anyway; if someone says no to something, take it as no and don't do it anyway.

How about you come off YouTube and find a better hobby?
It's about trying to look future people in the eye. I feel like I should be ashamed every day and cannot talk to anyone. I want to stop feeling that but then I need to train myself to understand what happened. If I am sorry for posting a link based on them not actually wanting it then would you forgive me? I'll ask you as you seem to be the gate keeper.
Then again you did post something about me last time.

I want someone to trufully say what they think of me for my actions.

I was feeling they were joking with me like banter, it wasn't a stern no, it was a nah and it wasn't clear he meant no to linking in chat, it was that he didn't want to watch it, and he didn't have to watch it because it doesn't show on screen anyway.

It's not about a hobby it's about do I deserve to be in the society or not.
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username202925
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(Original post by Surnia)
You've posted about this before. Stop wasting money donating to YouTubers and look at what they are saying. It's nothing to do with your donation and everything to do with the fact that they didn't want a train melody, whatever that is, and you sent it anyway; if someone says no to something, take it as no and don't do it anyway.

How about you come off YouTube and find a better hobby?
Maybe a better question, I see you posted about cannabis. Is my situation on what I did worse or less than taking cannabis that is illegal in the UK? Can I be forgiven? That's all I wanted to know but I'm not good at asking questions so I have to re-write.

It's not to do with sending it anyway, it was in my mind a misunderstanding at first because there's a difference to me asking if they want to watch it (the streamer) and the chat wanting to click to watch it themselves.
Then I felt like he was joking as he was laughing and cackling when he timed me out for a minute so i thought we were just playing with eachother
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Surnia
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(Original post by Flyingaround)
It's about trying to look future people in the eye. I feel like I should be ashamed every day and cannot talk to anyone. I want to stop feeling that but then I need to train myself to understand what happened. If I am sorry for posting a link based on them not actually wanting it then would you forgive me? I'll ask you as you seem to be the gate keeper.
Then again you did post something about me last time.

I want someone to trufully say what they think of me for my actions.

I was feeling they were joking with me like banter, it wasn't a stern no, it was a nah and it wasn't clear he meant no to linking in chat, it was that he didn't want to watch it, and he didn't have to watch it because it doesn't show on screen anyway.

It's not about a hobby it's about do I deserve to be in the society or not.
Some people would forgive, some wouldn't. This guy isn't and you are actually making it worse on both sides because you keep pestering him. However, what he does can't be carried over into real life and what anyone else does; don't take it so personally because the guy doesn't mean it personally to you, he's just someone on the other side of a screen.
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username202925
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(Original post by Surnia)
Some people would forgive, some wouldn't. This guy isn't and you are actually making it worse on both sides because you keep pestering him. However, what he does can't be carried over into real life and what anyone else does; don't take it so personally because the guy doesn't mean it personally to you, he's just someone on the other side of a screen.
Thank you, and yes I can tell I'm being a bit weird, I apologise, I know it shouldn't be bothering me this much. I took the not replying to me by them as something I've done was really really bad even though if it was me the streamer, I would say it's nothing.
I would give the benefit of the doubt and then chat to them.

I've not emailed them since last time. I just like to iron things out in my head all the situations where I make these types of mistakes so that I don't do it again and also so I don't keep feeling bad about it.
I would never do anything bad to anyone so if I make someone misunderstand then I am sorry.
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Zain_Ahmed
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(Original post by Flyingaround)
It's about trying to look future people in the eye. I feel like I should be ashamed every day and cannot talk to anyone. I want to stop feeling that but then I need to train myself to understand what happened. If I am sorry for posting a link based on them not actually wanting it then would you forgive me? I'll ask you as you seem to be the gate keeper.
Then again you did post something about me last time.

I want someone to trufully say what they think of me for my actions.

I was feeling they were joking with me like banter, it wasn't a stern no, it was a nah and it wasn't clear he meant no to linking in chat, it was that he didn't want to watch it, and he didn't have to watch it because it doesn't show on screen anyway.

It's not about a hobby it's about do I deserve to be in the society or not.
Stop here if u want to save urself from future embarrassment. Trust me in like 3 years time, you will look back at your old posts and cringe.
It's nothing to get so hyped up about. If something isnt clear, then ask a question to clear up the confusion.. You dont then find your own meaning out of it then use it as an excuse afterwards that "it wasnt clear"..

The last line bruh.. Grow up fam.. It's a damn chat. If you get banned, it's because YOU have done something wrong and YOU have gone against their rules. No need to get a random link to "society"... Life if full of many great things and you're crying over a 1 hour ban..
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username202925
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(Original post by Zain_Ahmed)
Stop here if u want to save urself from future embarrassment. Trust me in like 3 years time, you will look back at your old posts and cringe.
It's nothing to get so hyped up about. If something isnt clear, then ask a question to clear up the confusion.. You dont then find your own meaning out of it then use it as an excuse afterwards that "it wasnt clear"..

The last line bruh.. Grow up fam.. It's a damn chat. If you get banned, it's because YOU have done something wrong and YOU have gone against their rules. No need to get a random link to "society"... Life if full of many great things and you're crying over a 1 hour ban..
I already feel bad, no need to mention excuses word. I really have trouble with that word. I'm not trying to find a way out. I'm trying to just tell him how I assumed the whole thing as a joke. I thought he was joking with me. Then I feel bad because he won't forgive me.
You're right it's probably nothing too. Can you help me with those words you said about wasn't clear and stuff, finding my own meaning.
Why are you saying I did something wrong? I did something that looked wrong from their point of view, from my point of view linking in a chat was nothing like you just said in the last part, it's a damn chat part.

I did ask a question anyway why can't we find reasons for why we did something? It's not finding a false reason if that's what excuse means.
I'm always about reasons, I don't do something to hurt anyone so why do I need to feel like I did that?
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username202925
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(Original post by Zain_Ahmed)
Stop here if u want to save urself from future embarrassment. Trust me in like 3 years time, you will look back at your old posts and cringe.
It's nothing to get so hyped up about. If something isnt clear, then ask a question to clear up the confusion.. You dont then find your own meaning out of it then use it as an excuse afterwards that "it wasnt clear"..

The last line bruh.. Grow up fam.. It's a damn chat. If you get banned, it's because YOU have done something wrong and YOU have gone against their rules. No need to get a random link to "society"... Life if full of many great things and you're crying over a 1 hour ban..
I'm not crying over a 1 hour ban. I'm worried about the morality of what I have done and if I can face society. You saying I've done something wrong still doesn't help. So should I feel ashamed forever?

That's the part that hits my nerve, when I was working and I give reasons why I couldn't do something, the boss said excuses. It hurts, why can't I give a reason for something happening?
"I didn't get to the bus because I was dehydrated and passed out" oh it's an excuse, I should feel bad.
It's a reason, everything has a reason and that's what I try to do to understand things in life.

If your girlfriend did what i did, would you break up with her?
That's mainly the question that I'm really trying to ask, why is that so bad to see if I have to explain this entire scenario to every person I meet to see if they accept me or not.
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GabiAbi84
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No one owes you forgiveness.
And you certainly can’t buy it but donating money-especially when you use donating money as an excuse to do the very thing they timed you out for again.
At the end of the day, it’s their chat their rules- you didn’t follow them so you bore the consequences.

Why is it you’re still thinking about it- is it because you think you did nothing wrong and they’re in the wrong for not forgiving you?
Or is it that you feel bad for doing something wrong?
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username202925
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(Original post by GabiAbi84)
No one owes you forgiveness.
And you certainly can’t buy it but donating money-especially when you use donating money as an excuse to do the very thing they timed you out for again.
At the end of the day, it’s their chat their rules- you didn’t follow them so you bore the consequences.

Why is it you’re still thinking about it- is it because you think you did nothing wrong and they’re in the wrong for not forgiving you?
Or is it that you feel bad for doing something wrong?
Because I feel that they hate me for something.
I never understand why people think bad of me for trying to understand what went wrong, that's all. I'm bad at putting my question out maybe.
Shouldn't the only reason someone should stay clear of someone is if they did something to hurt someone. I never did anything to hurt anyone intentionally so shouldn't I feel at least human? Can I not explain my reasons for what I did and then see if people like me or not.
Not that they did anything wrong either but the way they wrote to me and not say they forgive, I felt shocked and wanted to know if I've done something really bad for that to happen. So I wanted opinions.
I keep watching new live streamers and when I start to enjoy it, this pops up into my mind again and I think "what would they think of me if they knew"
Then I can't enjoy anything in life if I can't smile at people.
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GabiAbi84
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(Original post by Flyingaround)
Because I feel that they hate me for something.
I never understand why people think bad of me for trying to understand what went wrong, that's all. I'm bad at putting my question out maybe.
Shouldn't the only reason someone should stay clear of someone is if they did something to hurt someone. I never did anything to hurt anyone intentionally so shouldn't I feel at least human? Can I not explain my reasons for what I did and then see if people like me or not.
Not that they did anything wrong either but the way they wrote to me and not say they forgive, I felt shocked and wanted to know if I've done something really bad for that to happen. So I wanted opinions.
I keep watching new live streamers and when I start to enjoy it, this pops up into my mind again and I think "what would they think of me if they knew"
Then I can't enjoy anything in life if I can't smile at people.
Number one- you will never get the validation you crave from streamers.

Number 2 -you spammed a link and thought that because you paid money you could do what you liked.

Number 3- I very much doubt they even think of you enough to dislike you let alone hate you.

Number 4- like I said, you can’t demand forgiveness if they don’t want to “forgive” especially when they probably don’t particularly care about the matter. You gave your excuses to why you acted the way you did, they don’t accept them. Nothing more to be said on the matter.

Number 5- learn from your mistakes and act better next time.
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username202925
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(Original post by GabiAbi84)
Number one- you will never get the validation you crave from streamers.

Number 2 -you spammed a link and thought that because you paid money you could do what you liked.

Number 3- I very much doubt they even think of you enough to dislike you let alone hate you.

Number 4- like I said, you can’t demand forgiveness if they don’t want to “forgive” especially when they probably don’t particularly care about the matter. You gave your excuses to why you acted the way you did, they don’t accept them. Nothing more to be said on the matter.

Number 5- learn from your mistakes and act better next time.
Why are people so mean. I'm asking on here for people's opinion on if they forgive me and not the streamer.
I'm a person who would forgive. If someone told me they thought I was joking with them and just posted especially when I said they said they dont want to watch it and that had nothing to do with putting a link into the chat, they are two separate things.

Number 5? what do you think I am on here to do? I'm trying to understand why people hate me and people continue to give me hate and say how bad i am

Why are people trying to put me down all the time.
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username202925
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So what I got from all this is:

Don't ask for help because people will put you down for trying to reason everything out on both sides of the problem. What's the point in me trying anymore, what do I have to give If noone can see it from my side then I guess there's no point. I remember when people used to understand where I was coming from. Now everything is just hate all the time nonstop and loneliness.
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GabiAbi84
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(Original post by Flyingaround)
Why are people so mean. I'm asking on here for people's opinion on if they forgive me and not the streamer.
I'm a person who would forgive. If someone told me they thought I was joking with them and just posted especially when I said they said they dont want to watch it and that had nothing to do with putting a link into the chat, they are two separate things.

Number 5? what do you think I am on here to do? I'm trying to understand why people hate me and people continue to give me hate and say how bad i am

Why are people trying to put me down all the time.
First-we only know your side so can’t comment on if they would “forgive” you or not.
Second- obviously you would forgive as you see it from your side only.
And I meant number 5 as a response to you saying you felt bad when you joined other streams, if you don’t repeat your behaviour then there is nothing to feel bad about.
Who is giving you hate or putting you down?
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username202925
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(Original post by GabiAbi84)
First-we only know your side so can’t comment on if they would “forgive” you or not.
Second- obviously you would forgive as you see it from your side only.
And I meant number 5 as a response to you saying you felt bad when you joined other streams, if you don’t repeat your behaviour then there is nothing to feel bad about.
Who is giving you hate or putting you down?
I did put the email that the streamer sent me about what his side was although he changed the facts that I asked him for permission to link and did it anyway when I only asked if he wanted to watch it.
I don't know why maybe I have a bad way of putting questions.
It's like another thread I once did when they say why are you trying to make yourself feel better, that's what it feels like they are doing. Also like one person said it sounds like you're trying to prove them wrong by asking.
I'm only trying to ask people to help me with the reasonings that's all and how not to feel bad. Why would anyone want to feel bad, I don't understand that part.
I'm not good at this social thing anymore, i don't have close friends to talk about this.
To be honest, I know half my threads could be solved if I had many friends just by the fact that I would witness similar events from them and see how they handle things, you know such as a member of staff being rude, if they are the same to the friend then it's not just me and it happens all the time sort of thing. I've managed to get my head above that now, it's hard bouncing from country to country trying to get used to how people do things and then repeat 3 months later.

So there is things that people don't forgive for? things like posting a train tune link? would that really be what someone would do that for? That's why I ask the question because I am so confused about that part of it.
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Zain_Ahmed
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(Original post by Flyingaround)
I already feel bad, no need to mention excuses word. I really have trouble with that word. I'm not trying to find a way out. I'm trying to just tell him how I assumed the whole thing as a joke. I thought he was joking with me. Then I feel bad because he won't forgive me.
You're right it's probably nothing too. Can you help me with those words you said about wasn't clear and stuff, finding my own meaning.
Why are you saying I did something wrong? I did something that looked wrong from their point of view, from my point of view linking in a chat was nothing like you just said in the last part, it's a damn chat part.

I did ask a question anyway why can't we find reasons for why we did something? It's not finding a false reason if that's what excuse means.
I'm always about reasons, I don't do something to hurt anyone so why do I need to feel like I did that?
If you feel that you didnt do anything wrong and that you want to clear your mind, emailing the guy to tell him that you thought he was joking can be as simple as "Bro, I didn't mean to break any rules, I just thought you were joking and I now realise that you weren't. Sorry".. End of. Expecting someone to forgiveness back isn't the way. You can clear your mind this way, but don't expect someone to give a reply back as your aim was just to clear your thoughts.
You take things too personally, I said that at the end of the day, it's their chat and their rules. So if u break them, by mistake or on purpose.. They DO have the right to ban you. So you should learn to accept that and move on because thinking about it now won't really change anything and it would make you feel low.
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Zain_Ahmed
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(Original post by Flyingaround)
So what I got from all this is:

Don't ask for help because people will put you down for trying to reason everything out on both sides of the problem. What's the point in me trying anymore, what do I have to give If noone can see it from my side then I guess there's no point. I remember when people used to understand where I was coming from. Now everything is just hate all the time nonstop and loneliness.
Bro listen.. Nobody is sayong dont ask for help. But you aint asking for help. You're trying to drag on a conversation that is simple. You broke the rules, by accident YES, but you broke them. They have a right to do what they did. You just need to learn from this and move on.
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username202925
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(Original post by Zain_Ahmed)
If you feel that you didnt do anything wrong and that you want to clear your mind, emailing the guy to tell him that you thought he was joking can be as simple as "Bro, I didn't mean to break any rules, I just thought you were joking and I now realise that you weren't. Sorry".. End of. Expecting someone to forgiveness back isn't the way. You can clear your mind this way, but don't expect someone to give a reply back as your aim was just to clear your thoughts.
You take things too personally, I said that at the end of the day, it's their chat and their rules. So if u break them, by mistake or on purpose.. They DO have the right to ban you. So you should learn to accept that and move on because thinking about it now won't really change anything and it would make you feel low.
I kind of understand what you are saying.
That's how I meant my email to him, Like the next day in stream I said sorry while donating again and he said "it's just $3 though" so then I emailed instead (my first dm and )asked if I should feel ashamed for how little money I sent. That to me was a sorry, maybe it sounded like challenging him?
And then the way he was harsh and out of character in the email shocked me more. He's always joking with me in stream. If someone actually said no links, I would respect that and not do it. I just thought you know like your best friend if he doesn't want some prank on his birthday but the friend does it anyway, they don't unfriend usually. Not that I would do something against someone's wishes as I wouldn't.
I thought he was just pranking with me by his laughing so I just thought I was doing it back but trying to be polite by giving money too as a thanks but it didn't come across like that so i am sorry.
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