boyfriend told me to shut up

hi, so me and my boyfriend tell each other to shut up all the time right, and this morning he kept farting so i was like can you just go in the other room (there was other people in the house) so he said shut up people are asleep, so i went into the other room.
woke up a couple hours later and he comes in asking for my earphones, and i was like, don’t tell me to shut up, and then he said you tell me to shut up all the time, so YOU don’t tell me to shut up and i said OKAY, but i just told you to not tell me to shut up and then he walked out the room telling me i’m “boring” and then he texted me saying “you need to sort your attitude out because i’m starting to loose interest in you” and then went on to call me “stupid” and “entitled” and how i should “get over it”
i get that i probably should have established at the start that we should both stop telling each other to shut up but did i deserve all of those comments? can someone just tell me i’m not being a psycho here? am i in the wrong ????

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

OP

oh he said i needed to sort my attitude out because i interrupted what he was saying by selling him to “hold on” and then that’s when he walked out

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

hi, so me and my boyfriend tell each other to shut up all the time right, and this morning he kept farting so i was like can you just go in the other room (there was other people in the house) so he said shut up people are asleep, so i went into the other room.
woke up a couple hours later and he comes in asking for my earphones, and i was like, don’t tell me to shut up, and then he said you tell me to shut up all the time, so YOU don’t tell me to shut up and i said OKAY, but i just told you to not tell me to shut up and then he walked out the room telling me i’m “boring” and then he texted me saying “you need to sort your attitude out because i’m starting to loose interest in you” and then went on to call me “stupid” and “entitled” and how i should “get over it”
i get that i probably should have established at the start that we should both stop telling each other to shut up but did i deserve all of those comments? can someone just tell me i’m not being a psycho here? am i in the wrong ????

He shouldn’t be calling you names or ever say that he’s losing interest just to hurt your feelings. Personally, I feel like this is a rlly dumb reason to fight over. You should tell him not to call you names over dumb stuff and that you don’t deserve it. If he can’t handle you, then you should tell him you’re the one who’s losing interest. Idk

Reply 3

Sorcerer's Storm

20

Dump his arse so fast.

Reply 4

username5655466

17

No idea what your relationship dynamics are but in my opinion that's just a lack of respect to be insulting a person like that. Just cos it's your bf doesn't make it ok. He's belittling you for no reason.

Reply 5

Bamadan

4

You are the one to blame. I think he should leave you alone.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Bamadan

You are the one to blame. I think he should leave you alone.

i am the one to blame? can you explain what i have done wrong in this situation ?

Reply 7

Anonymous #2

Original post by Bamadan

You are the one to blame. I think he should leave you alone.

Can you explain why she’s the one to blame? You think it’s okay for your significant other to call you names?

Reply 8

Anonymous #3

I think that him telling you to 'shut up' can be excused because as you mentioned you've said that to each other before so he may have not meant it in a rude way. However the way he acted afterwards is not okay. What he said was rude and completely uncalled for - it would definitely have upset me. You're absolutely not being a psycho - he is in the wrong.

Reply 9

username5428282

21

He is more at fault in this situation, but you’re definitely not blameless. You should have a serious talk about your relationship because neither of you is being mature or respectful.

(edited 3 years ago)

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by YaliaV123

He is more at fault in this situation, but you’re definitely not blameless. You should have a serious talk about your relationship because neither of you are being mature or respectful.

how am i not being mature and respectful? please can you explain what i’ve done that is immature and disrespectful to him ?

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

I think that him telling you to 'shut up' can be excused because as you mentioned you've said that to each other before so he may have not meant it in a rude way. However the way he acted afterwards is not okay. What he said was rude and completely uncalled for - it would definitely have upset me. You're absolutely not being a psycho - he is in the wrong.

i know he wasn’t being rude, he was just telling me to shut up so i didn’t wake people up and yes we do say it to each other all the time but this morning i kind of had a moment where i was like, why do we speak to eachother like that even when we aren’t having an argument, so i just told him not to tell me to shut up and he said don’t tell me to shut up and i said okay

Reply 12

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

i know he wasn’t being rude, he was just telling me to shut up so i didn’t wake people up and yes we do say it to each other all the time but this morning i kind of had a moment where i was like, why do we speak to eachother like that even when we aren’t having an argument, so i just told him not to tell me to shut up and he said don’t tell me to shut up and i said okay

Gurl just stop saying shut up to each other. Either way, he sucks for invalidating u like that. Get an apology and if ur willing to give him another chance, dump him if he ever does that again.

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

Gurl just stop saying shut up to each other. Either way, he sucks for invalidating u like that. Get an apology and if ur willing to give him another chance, dump him if he ever does that again.

he told me he only said that he was loose my interest and that i’m really stupid out of anger

Reply 14

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

he told me he only said that he was loose my interest and that i’m really stupid out of anger

I hope you still told him it’s not acceptable no matter what because it’s rlly immature. I don’t think it’s a big problem but I guess it’s one of those things you guys should be able to overcome healthily. So look for ways to communicate when y’all are arguing. :smile:

Reply 15

Adz2042

18

Let's break this down:

hi, so me and my boyfriend tell each other to shut up all the time right, - You shouldn't really be doing this to start with.

and this morning he kept farting so i was like can you just go in the other room (there was other people in the house) - Whilst disgusting, it's better out than kept in. Completely get why you said to go to the other room, or suggest the bathroom with window open.

so he said shut up people are asleep, so i went into the other room. You did say at the start that you both tell each-other to shut up on a regular basis, so he probably said that as if things were normal / banter conversation like you always have.

woke up a couple hours later and he comes in asking for my earphones, Surely he has his own?

and i was like, don’t tell me to shut up, You also say to him 'Shut Up' at times (quote from your original opening line 'hi, so me and my boyfriend tell each other to shut up all the time right'), so you should have said to him 'What I said earlier was accurate, you shouldn't be constantly farting in bed with me or anyone. Go to the toilet and sort it out'.

and then he said you tell me to shut up all the time, so YOU don’t tell me to shut up and i said OKAY, but i just told you to not tell me to shut up and then he walked out the room - unnecessary argument here that was technically started by him saying 'shut up' first, but you shouldn't have followed it up by the snarky comment 'don't tell me to shut up', given you both say it all the time.

telling me i’m “boring” and then he texted me saying “you need to sort your attitude out because i’m starting to lose interest in you” and then went on to call me “stupid” and “entitled” and how i should “get over it” - he farted. That's normal for us all as humans to do. To over-exaggerate it and turn it into an argument is stupid, so I get why he's frustrated that you're making it such a big deal. It's not.

i get that i probably should have established at the start that we should both stop telling each other to shut up - that would have been ideal.

Reply 16

5hyl33n

Volunteer Team, Clearing and Applications Advisor

21

Original post by Anonymous

how am i not being mature and respectful? please can you explain what i’ve done that is immature and disrespectful to him ?

Ah, a defensive Anon. :biggrin:

You are in the wrong as well because you also told your boyfriend to shut up. You could’ve tried to handle the conversation maturely but you chose not to.

Now, don’t ask a question if you don’t want to hear the truth...

Reply 17

VileStudent

4

Original post by Anonymous

hi, so me and my boyfriend tell each other to shut up all the time right, and this morning he kept farting so i was like can you just go in the other room (there was other people in the house) so he said shut up people are asleep, so i went into the other room.
woke up a couple hours later and he comes in asking for my earphones, and i was like, don’t tell me to shut up, and then he said you tell me to shut up all the time, so YOU don’t tell me to shut up and i said OKAY, but i just told you to not tell me to shut up and then he walked out the room telling me i’m “boring” and then he texted me saying “you need to sort your attitude out because i’m starting to loose interest in you” and then went on to call me “stupid” and “entitled” and how i should “get over it”
i get that i probably should have established at the start that we should both stop telling each other to shut up but did i deserve all of those comments? can someone just tell me i’m not being a psycho here? am i in the wrong ????